A Girl in My Life

I lift my gaze and meet the gentleman’s gaze.

– What are your options? – I feel something strange, is there some other means of punishment? I hope so, any punishment is better than the shame of having black wings.

– When I created you, I may have made some mistake – the frown eye making, what does that mean? – All angels, never challenged me in anything, always supported me without ever saying an air. But you, you looked like the humans, you didn’t want to go against me, but you kept questioning me and even suggested the elimination of an entire race, you were the only angel who felt disgusted by the human acts, the only one who did everything not to have to go back there.

I bow my head again, I am a defective angel…. The others must have noticed this from the beginning and that’s why they treated me differently. And on top of that… There is no angel besides me that has blood trauma.

– Don’t think those things Anael, you are not defective, it was me who made the mistake in your creation. I want to fix this mistake – he speaks with his voice always calm.

– You are perfect, you are a wonderful creator, there is no way you could have made a mistake, I am the one who is defective, I am a shame…

– I have already said that the mistake was mine – his voice rises a little and I remain silent, I have never heard him speak like this before – You are loving Elisa as a man loves a woman, angels should not feel this, this feeling I reserved only for humans. With that, I give you today the power of free will, you will be able to choose what you think is best for your life – he pauses and looks at me, his gaze is a loving gaze – You my son, can choose to continue here, I will change the colour of your wings and erase Elisa from your mind, or you can choose to lose your wings and live on earth, become a mortal and live this love with her. Which do you choose?

I feel my blood freeze, how to choose between having a perfect life and a human full of sins living in a place that dies more every day?

I shouldn’t even think, I should say I’d rather keep living here and forget she exists, but… I want to see her smile again, I want to hug her and feel her sweet smell, I want her to be happy, she already suffered so much in her life and I couldn’t do anything for her… I want to be with her!

– I choose to stop being an angel and go to live on earth, Sir! – I speak with conviction in my decision. I cannot neglect my heart, it is hers!

– Very well, it will be done, you will not remember the things you lived here in paradise, do you understand?

– Yes sir! – It is better this way, forgetting here will save me from a possible future regret.

– You are my beloved son Anael, I will let you remember this name, because it is yours! – he speaks and without giving me time to answer he snaps his fingers.

Everything around me becomes black, it’s as if I was in a vacuum, my eyes seem to be glued, everything is in complete silence, I feel cold. When I finally open my eyes I realize that I’m in the middle of nowhere, I can see the celestial bodies, but their lights are fading more and more. I turn my face and see the planet earth, the speed in which I’m pulled gets bigger and bigger, a blue flame makes me look back, I see the fire consuming my wings and they’re disappearing from my back, tears flood my eyes, I’ll never be able to fly again. These flames are like the ones I saw when I was born, they are hot but they don’t burn.

Now a red flame covers my whole body, I am entering the atmosphere of the earth. My trousers burned but the Lord put a film on my skin so that I would not burn. I close my eyes! I entered the earth. “Splash” I feel my whole body aching and the water is so cold, my consciousness is fading.

I feel my chest being pressed hard, my mouth is opened and hot air is forced against me. This makes me tocier and spit out all the water. I open my eyes. I see a man looking at me, who is he?

Where am I?

I look all tormented, I try to get away from these strangers.

– Calm down, I won’t hurt you! – she shows me both hands.

– W-where am I? – I ask as I look around me.

– You’re in Brooklyn.

Well, I don’t know how but I know this place, I don’t remember ever being here, but it’s like I know it.

– What’s your name boy? – he asks and hands me a bottle of water.

– My name is Anael – I say and accept the bottle of water.

– What a different name, what happened? How did you end up on the beach?

– I don’t remember, all I know is that Anael is my name.

– I understand, take these clothes, it’s all I can do for you boy – he hands me a pair of sweatpants and a tank top with the US flag on it.

Why can’t I remember anything about myself, but I know everything around me?

I put on the clothes and he hands me a packed lunch, I sit down right there on the sand and start to eat, the man who saved me leaves. I finish my meal and now… What am I going to do? I don’t know where to go.

***Two months later***This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

Well, the sky is cloudy, the wind is strong and cold, I’m under the bridge alone, a lady gave me this sheet, but it’s very thin, you can’t escape the cold, I folded it in three parts, so it’s better. I try to accommodate myself better on the sheet…

“Paft” I hear the sound of a bottle being hurled from the top of the bridge and it crashes to the ground less than a meter and a half away from me. I step out from under the point and look up to see what is happening.

A gentleman in a very nice suit is sitting there, he is crying a lot. I wonder what happened.

I walk as fast as I can, I hope he is not trying to commit suicide, I have to try to help him somehow. When I get close to him, he doesn’t notice my presence, to get his attention I touch his shoulder. He is already very advanced in age, but his eyes are a beautiful blue.

– Do you need help? – I ask as calmly as possible.

– Sit here with me – he says, patting his side.

I do as he asks, I sit with him on the bridge, I look down and he is very tall. The glasses from his bottle are well spread out.

– Life is a breath, man’s greed cannot overcome time. One hour it ends, and all that was conquered in life, in death nothing is taken, everything remains there. And when that moment comes, you realize that all you did was waste time, not having anyone by your side is very lonely, it saddens you so much …. – he speaks with his voice broken by crying, but somehow I can understand him.

– I understand how you feel, I also have no one and no memories, I woke up one day on the beach and since then I am alone in the world, I die here under this bridge – I speak trying to show that I really know how he feels, I also have a lonely life.

– What is your name boy?

– My name is Anael and you? – I ask looking at the sky.

– John Stewart – he speaks and extends his hand to me, I stop – You have no family?

– I don’t think so, no one has ever looked for me, and I don’t remember anything, only being saved on the beach.

– I don’t have a family either, I got married for appearances sake but she betrayed me and for appearances sake I didn’t ask for a divorce, but she left me and married another man. I never had children, and now I am about to die, my brain has a tumour, it is malignant and there is no way to remove it, even though I have accumulated a lot of money, there is nothing the doctors can do….

I don’t really know how to console a person, but I put my hand on his shoulder and hold it tight.

– There are things that no money can buy,” I say quietly, but he can hear me.

He smiles and picks up a briefcase that I didn’t even see was beside him.

– Do you know how to write, boy?

– Well, I don’t remember if I ever wrote, but I think I can, why?

He opens his bag and takes out a few sheets of paper.

– I want you to sign these papers for me,” he hands me the bag for support and a pen.

– What’s on these papers? – I ask looking at him.

– It’s my will, I want you to become my son. You helped me, listened to me and took pity on me. I want you to keep these things that I achieved in life, and that you don’t make the same mistakes as me, don’t let greed get to your head. Sign please, I want to leave knowing that at least once I did something good in my life.

His eyes are watering…. He really is going to die… But is it right for me to accept this? I never had anything…

– Look… I know this is sudden, but you’re my chance to do something good for someone. And I know you’re a good man. I insist. Please sign. Once you sign these papers your name will be, Anael Stewart. You will be regarded as my son.

I take a deep breath, I feel like crying, I make my decision. I hold firmly the pen and sign my name, Anael Stewart.

I hand him the briefcase with the papers. He tidies up everything and takes out a mobile phone.

– Jones! Come to the Brooklyn Bridge, my son is here, I want you to take care of him, do you understand? This will be the last time I call you, now everything is with Anael Stewart!

He finishes the call and again hands me the suitcase, but now closed and tidy. He smiles at me, I smile at him too, but my smile dies. He jumps from the bridge and falls on the glass, I see his blood dripping, he hit his head so hard that he defaced.

– NOOOOOOOOOO! – I shout as I run to where he fell.