A Werewolf, A Vampire, and A Fae Walk Into A Bar (Book 1 of The Last Witch Series)

"I mean... that's insane," AJ very astutely observes. "And you're all doctors?"

There's a momentary silence as the men figure out who will field questions addressing the group. Darius takes the lead.

"We all have medical training, if not the actual title of doctor."

"And what's in Montreal?" AJ's always been a talker, especially around cute guys. With so many years lost to a loveless marriage, I imagine it's only going to be worse now. "Are you all going to a medical conference or something?" Another beat. So handsome, smart, and strong, but the quick wit is severely lacking. They look between one another, hoping someone will speak. Naturally, AJ fills the dead air.

"What's up, fellas? No one remembers why they're going to Montreal?"

"Yes," Rune blurts out, clearly an unskilled liar. "A medical conference or something."

Zev and Darius nod, trying to show how they're all on the same page. AJ just stares--then starts to laugh.

"Okay, whatever. You guys are lying through your teeth, but you're fixing my arm so I'll let it slide." Her ability to brush things off has always astounded me. It's probably made her a little complacent at times, but right now it's really benefiting us all. "So, um, Bernie," AJ says, changing the subject. "When did you get all this amazing shit?"

Goddammit. And I thought explaining the hottest men in the universe being in my house would be the biggest challenge. This is definitely going to be harder.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot you hadn't seen the place yet," I gesture around, trying to buy myself some thinking time. Won the lottery? Took out a loan? Lie and say nothing's changed? None of those will fly. Gotta go random.

"I... inherited everything," I start, having no trouble sounding surprised because I'm not entirely sure what'll come out of my mouth next. "An older cousin on my mom's side left a bunch of stuff to my mom. I guess he's got no next of kin and somehow didn't know my mom was dead. Honestly, I keep waiting for someone to come back and reclaim it all. A truck showed up a few days ago and now I'm wicked fancy."

AJ stares at me, her right eyebrow cocked in a very disbelieving fashion. The Sexies all stare at me as well, none of them with a clue as to what I said.

"Clearly," AJ says, and I'm half-sure she's about to call out my bullshit. But then she goes on, "this is the universe trying to get you to live in Rowley forever. And I appreciate it, powers that be," she says, looking up and doing a kind of cross thing over her chest that I'm pretty sure is made up, "but I won't allow it. Bernie's too good for this dumb town, so she's back to playing concert halls and shit as soon as Baby Rain's old enough to stay with her auntie."

If she's moved on to taking shots at our hometown, she's good with my story. AJ will kill a bitch who bad mouths Rowley if they're not from here, but when it comes to me and pursuing my dreams, she thinks this town can "get bent." I'd never felt like AJ was truly mad at me about anything until I moved back. That's something we're still working out.

"Finished," Zev cuts in, having swiftly tended to AJ's arm while we talked it out.

"Oh. Whoa." AJ looks at her wound and isn't sure how to react. It's so tightly stitched the gash is only barely noticeable. And yet, from a few feet away, I can hardly see the thread.

"What kind of invisible synthetic shit is this?" AJ asks.

"It's... not a material you would know about," Zev offers, and I'm curious to hear how he handles a barrage of follow-up questions. Before he can continue, Darius' voice interrupts. But the words don't come from his mouth, instead they go straight into my freaking head. The thread is made of his own hair, Bernadette.

I make eye contact with Darius, and I know he's talking directly with me, but doing it so AJ can't hear him. It gives me the funniest feeling, like I'm having a casual conversation against my will. He's overpowering my mind and, frankly, I wish I didn't like it so much. It's what he used to stitch the tearing after Rain was born. You have werewolf hair sewn throughout your va--

"Get out!" I scream to make Darius leave my mind, but unlike his words, mine resound loudly throughout the room. Everyone looks up, worried. Sticking with the theme of the day, I improvise.

"Get out... of here with those medical stories, Zev! We don't have time to learn the history of medicine from wherever you're from. I've got a baby to tend to, AJ needs to decide how many charges she wants to press against her husband, and you three need to learn how to tend bar."

I pulled that last one out of my ass, and couldn't be happier with myself.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention," I say to AJ, though my words are mostly meant for the men I'm going to try like hell to turn into my sexy slaves. "Since I'm on mom duty, these guys are going to handle the business downstairs for a day or two while they're stranded. Win win, am I right?"

AJ smiles, because I am right. The three men frown, because they don't necessarily agree.

"If you don't mind, maybe you can teach them some tricks of the trade? Start by showing Rune where the kegs are and how to change a tap?"Têxt belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.

"Of course I don't mind," AJ answers, giving my arm a squeeze and Rain's head a tiny kiss. "Rune is... blondie, right? Follow me."

I watch them head out the door, and I'm thrilled to death that AJ is here, even if it does complicate my living arrangements even more than they already were. My immediate future is still incredibly vague, but she brings a burst of hope and happiness into my life that I'm grateful for, especially now.

After they leave, I turn to Darius and Zev.

"First off, don't pull that shit again, Darius. Stay out of my head."

He offers a curt nod, but I'm not sure he's going to follow my order. Then I turn to Zev.

"And you--did you really stitch me up downstairs with your own hair?"

"Downstairs? No, you were up in your bedroom-"

"You know what I mean. The wounds below my waist."

"Ah," Zev says, finally catching on. "Yes. You'll find no thread as strong or as sterile as the hair of a wolf. Not an Earth wolf, of course, but from-"

"Got it, thank you," I cut him off, my brain not needing any more information to process. I head for the hallway, taking Rain to the comfort of our own bedroom.

"You two can join Rune, down in the walk-in fridge," I say as I reach the door. "This is a small town, where everyone knows me and everyone talks. If people don't think you should be here, they'll make their feelings clear."

I look at Rain and her beautiful little face. We just met, but I'd die for her in an instant.

"You might have powers we don't," I say with renewed passion, "but a town of angry Massholes looking out for their own isn't something you want to reckon with."

"Be that as it may," Darius says, stepping forward, his dark eyes mesmerizing me into temporary silence, "we cannot leave the child unprotected." He glances at Zev then back at me. "While you slept, we agreed that at least two of us would stay near her at all times."

I glare at the man before me. "First, she's not unprotected. She's with me, and I will not let anything happen to her. Second, you three don't get to make decisions about my baby. You don't get to make any decisions about--"

But before I can finish, the sound of a gunshot coming from outside my door interrupts me.

Rain screams bloody murder in my arms, my breasts pulse in pain from the pressure of the milk, and Zev growls like a wild animal.

My front door crashes in and slams to the floor, a hulk of man on the other side, his dirty blond hair a greasy mess, his wife-beater shirt stained with dirt and beer, his brown eyes wild with fury, and a double-barreled shotgun cocked in his hands. It's John, AJ's good for nothing husband.

"I know she's here you dumb bitch. Give me back my wife or you and that brat of yours are gonna get shot."