Arrange To You (Tagalog)

Tahimik akong nagchecheck ng invoices sa salas. Wayde is in front of his laptop as usual. Napairap ako nang masulyapan siya. Mukhang hindi naman niya napansin 'yun dahil tutok siya sa ginagawa.

Si dad naman ay naka-upo sa pang-isahang sofa habang nagbabasa ng newspaper nito. He was also sipping coffee from time to time.

It's been days since I ignored Wayde because of what happened last time. Yes! What happened that night. I ignored him like he was a ghost or something. Kahit nung pagdating ni daddy ay hindi ko talaga siya pinansin. Mukhang napapansin niya rin na iniiwasan ko siya pero hindi lang niya ako kinokompronta.

I heaved a sigh.

He didn't do anything wrong, actually. I understand that what he's doing right now is for the future. His hardworking personality is one of the things that I love about him.

I was just... I was just slightly hurt? Pilit kong tinatanggi pero kusa namang lumalabas sa mga inaakto ko.

Gusto kong matawa sa sarili. Now I know why girls are mostly addressed as the complicated ones.

I'm not used to that kind of treatment. As I was growing up, I never felt sensitive all of a sudden. Whenever I get to meet other people, they might see me as positive or jolly.

But that's because I don't have someone to lean on when anything goes wrong. Dad's always focused on our business that he even forgot to attend my birthday. Naiintindihan ko, oo.

But as I was growing up, the more I realized that I just wanted someone beside me. A shoulder to cry on like some people do. That it's okay to feel bad sometimes.

And now that I have someone to be my partner, the emotions that I'm hesitant to show are showing now already.

Deep thoughts filled my mind and I can't focus on my work right now. Due to frustration, kaagad kung niligpit ang mga papel sa mesa. Meron pa 'ngang nahulog kaya naiinis kong pinulot iyon.

Gumawa ng ingay ang pagdampot ko sa mga papel kaya naramdaman ko ang pagsunod ng titig nila.

"Where are you going, Celestia? Kakain na tayo maya-maya." Sabi ni dad nang makitang kinuha ko ang lahat ng gamit.

"To my room." Maikli kong sagot at hindi na sila nilingon.

On my way upstairs, I could feel Wayde's heavy stare but I didn't give a fuss. Dire-diretso ang pagpasok ko sa kwarto at inihiga ang sarili sa kama. Pabiling-biling sa higaan, hindi alam kung paanong pumosisyon ng tama. Ilang minuto pa ay narinig ko na ang katok at iniluwa niyon si Manang Helen.

"Sabay-sabay na daw kayong kumain, Tia. Kararating lang ni Roseanna at naghihintay na sa'yo si sir Wayde sa hapagkainan." si Manang Helen.

"Mamaya na po ako kakain, manang. Busog pa po ako." Pag tanggi ko.

When manang Helen got out, kaagad akong nagtalukbong ng comforter. Akala ko ay wala ng papasok sa kwarto ko nang marinig ang pagpihit ng pintuan. Kaagad kong binakwas ang comforter para tignan kung sino iyon. "Manang, hindi na mu-" natigilan ako nang makitang hindi si manang Helen iyon.

It was Wayde. Leaning on the door jamb while folding his arms. His forehead knitted and I got alarmed with his sudden presence.

"Hindi ka pa daw kakain." He bobbed his head to meet mine.

Pero umiwas ako.

"I'm not hungry yet," giit ko pa.

Narinig ko ang pag buntong-hininga niya at ang papalapit niyang yabag. I could feel my heart taking its leap and my forehead sweats. Pero nanatili lang ako sa posisyon ko at hindi man lang siya nilingon. "I'm sorry." Wayde sincerely said.

Hindi ako nagsalita. Naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng sulok ng mga mata ko. I felt like crying. Not because he made a mistake, but because I know that it's just me and my barbaric behaviour. Iniwasan ko siya ng ilang araw dahil nagtampo ako sa kanya. I could have talked to him about it. But something is stopping me from doing it.

If it's pride? I don't know

Or... I just want him to do something about it.

He sat on my bed as he watched me intently. He licked his lower lips before calling me.

"You've been ignoring me for days. Tell me what's wrong, hm?" His voice is soothing, enough for me to bite my lower

lip.

Kumabog ng malakas ang dibdib ko nang umusog pa siya papalapit sa akin. I can almost feel his skin touching my bare skin. "Wala nga," palatak ko.

"You're not a good liar, huh?" His voice is husky and trying to follow my gaze.

Napa-iwas agad ako ng tingin.

Kung saan-saan naglalayag ang utak ko kaya tumayo ako, pero bago pa man ako makalayo ay hinigit na niya ako papalapit sa kanya. Our face is almost touching, reason why I can smell his minty breathe. His arms snake in my waist, and the side of his lips rose when he saw my reaction.

Sa pagkabigla ay bigla ko siyang naitulak pero hindi iyon sapat para kumalas sa pagkakahawak niya.

"So tell me, why are you ignoring me for this past few days? binabaan mo rin ako ng tawag nung tumawag ako sa'yo." Wayde's voice is now serious but in a low tone. Tila ba naghahangad ng katanggap-tanggap na eksplinasyon. I want your time, moron!

Gusto kong isantig pero tila may pumipigil sa aking sabihin iyon. Nagbaba ako ng tingin at umiling.

"Nothing, really. You should get back to your work." Isang beses akong humakbang ngunit hinarangan niya ako. I glared at him.

Nagsalubong ang kilay niya at humalukipkip. He watched me as if thinking on what he's going to do with me.

Unti-unti akong napa-atras nang sinubukan nitong humakbang papalapit sa'kin. Tumingala ako sa kanya habang siya naman ay nakatutok lang sa'kin. His lips formed into thin line and his adams apple are more visible when he swallowed. And as I stepped backward for the last time, this time, wala na akong maihahakbang pa. Wayde took it as an opportunity to lock me on his side- still locking his eyes on me. "What's making you angry, Celestia?" malumanay ang boses niya, nanghahapuhap ng kasagutan.

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"I don't buy that. What's making you angry, baby?" nanlalambing ang mga boses niya.

Narealize kong hindi talaga niya ako titigilan hangga't hindi ko nasasabi ang rason.

Then why won't you tell him, Celestia?!

Bumuntong-hininga ako bago nagsalita.

"I d-don't know. When you didn't show up to me that day I bought you lunch, I was okay with it. But when you said that we will have dinner together, you didn't show up. I felt... irritated and mad." Nahihiya kong sambit. Dumapo ang tingin ko sa sahig at hindi na nag-abalang tinignan ang reaksyon niya. I heard him sighed.

Using his index finger, he put it below my chin to let me meet his gaze. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa at nakita ko ang pag-angat ng sulok ng labi niya.

"So that explains why..." He put his thumb on his lower lip as if thinking of something.

Umungklo siya sa'kin at nilagay ang magkabilang kamay sa gilid ko. Hindi ko pa rin siya madiretsong tignan sa mga mata.

Dumako ang tingin ni Wayde galing sa mga mata patungo sa labi ko. Binasa niya ang pang-ibabang labi bago inilapit ang mga bibig sa may tainga ko. "What does my Celestia want to do, then?" He whispered hoarsely.

I swallowed hard and laid my palm on his chest to make a barrier between us.

"A-ano..." ani, naghahapuhap ng sasabihin.

Tila nawalan ako ng kakahayang mag-isip ng tama dahil sa sobrang lapit niya. I can feel my sweat forming in my forehead because of nervousness.

"Hmm?" untag niya sa'kin na mas lalong naging dahilan ng pagkabalisa ko.

"Wala na " My breathing hitched when he grabbed my pulse and snaked his arms around my waist.

Nabigla ako sa biglaang pag yakap niya sa'kin. I don't know what to react o tumugon man lang sa ginawa niya.

"Just stay still..." Kagaya ng sinabi niya ay nanatili lang ako. I could feel his breathe in my earlobe and it tickles me.

"You must be really upset." panimula niya.

"I know I shouldn't be explaining to defend my actions, but you deserved an explanation. Gusto kong maka-uwi agad pero hindi ko inasahan ang pagdagsa ng mga kliyente ng araw na 'yun."

Napakalayo sa hinahangad ko ang mundo naming dalawa. Kahit pa ay gusto kong bigyan niya ako ng matagal na atensyon ay hindi ko pwedeng ipagkait sa kanya ang mga bagay na gustong-gusto na gawin niya.

I need to remember what expertise he is in, and how hard it is for him to balance it now. Gayung, sa tanang buhay ni Wayde ay wala siyang ibang responsibilidad kundi ang kompanya lang. But now that I exist in his life, his attention needs to be divided.

And I don't want to feel being a burden to him. I know he's not thinking that way towards me, but I want to do something that can be at least considered as my own career path. Not because I'm the daughter of the Vircacel Empire nor Wayde's wife.

"I'm sorry too..." naiiyak kong tugon. "I'm sorry for just thinking about myself. I'm sorry for being selfish" He silenced me with my last statement.

"It's not your fault, baby. It brings us a new feeling because we haven't encountered it for such a long time. And now that we already have the time to show it... we feel ignorant. Na akala na natin ay masama ng makaramdam ng ganun, but the reality is no."

Wayde held my cheeks and wiped the tears using his thumb.

Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi bago nagpatuloy. "Still, I'm sorry for my behaviour. I'm sorry for ignoring you for this past few days. Pasensya na at hindi man lang kita tinanong kung ayos ka lang ba o napagod ka sa trabaho mo. Pasensya na at masyado akong nagpalamon sa ganitong pakiramdam na hindi man lang kita kinakausap tungkol dun." Sumisinghot na ako dahil sa hindi kong pagtigil na iyak.

Wayde lean more closer and planted a kiss on my tears. Pinugpog niya ako ng halik at ngumiti.

"Hushed now, baby. Come here," idinipa niya ang magkabilang kamay na kusang-loob ko namang tinanggap.

"You're not the only one who needs to say sorry, baby. Due to work, bigla kong nakalimutan ang responsibilidad ko bilang asawa mo. We may not have a proper marriage, yet I highly valued its sacredness. I'm sorry for not making time for you."

Inangat niya ang mukha ko at unti-unti akong hinalikan. Naramdaman ko ang rahan at may pag-iingat na dampi ng labi niya. I closed my eyes and encircled my hands on his nape. Savouring the kiss that we shared.

It lasted for minutes before he broke the kiss. We rest on each other's forehead. Napapakit ako dahil sa namayaning naramdaman. My stomach is rumbling and all I could hear is our heart beating.

Nang mag magmulat ako ng mata ay ayun na naman ang nagliliparang mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko habang pinagmamasdan si Wayde. He also paused for a minute before pulling me closer to him and locked my lips with his. This time, it wasn't as gentle as before.

Napadaing ako ng kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi ko. Hinapit niya pa ako lalo papalapit sa kanya. Mas diniinan ko pa ang paghawak sa batok niya at napatili ako nang binuhat niya ako. "Wayde!" tinampal ko ang balikat niya pero mahina lang siyang natawa.

He immediately cleared the things on the side in one swept move to make space for me. Kaagad niya akong inilapag sa ibabaw ng mesa at labis-labis na lang ang paghahabol ko ng hininga para masaluhan ang halik niya. His lips travelled from lips upto my jaw and made its way to my earlobe. Napagitlag ako dahil sa kiliting naramdaman.

"You're so beautiful," mahinang bulong niya.

I didn't respond because I was too focused on the sensation that he is giving me. My body ignited like wildfire ready to devour my own territory. My back arched when his lips made their way to my neck.

Paunti-unti, padampi-dampi. I groaned when he sucked it like a kid. I'm sure that it would leave a mark there. Hindi niya tinigilan ang leeg ko sa paghalik hanggang bumalik ang labi nito sa labi ko. He gave me a kiss that almost took my breath away.

Wayde rested his forehead on my shoulder and gave it a feathery kiss. His grayish eyes met mine. His eyes speak so much admiration and amusement.

Sa totoo lang ay ako dapat ang mamangha sa kanya. Dahil sa simpleng kilos lang niya ay naghuhurumentado na agad ang puso ko. Hindi mapakali at tila gustong lumabas sa isang hawla kung saan ako ang biktima. Bukod kay daddy... Siya yung taong sobrang matulungin at walang iniisip na masama sa'yo.

A person who never thinks highly of himself but remains humble.

That despite his social status, he never uses that power to step on others. Na kahit pinagkaitan siya ng pinaka-importanteng tao sa buhay niya, mahirap man pero patuloy pa rin na lumalaban.

He is too good to be true. And those aspects from him make me fall for him more. That I would definitely look back and look forward if given a chance.

Napapikit ako ng dampian niya ng halik ang noo ko sa huling pagkakataon.

"Get dressed, I'll take you somewhere."