Chapter 1
EVERYTHING seems like a whirlwind. The students are having in their own world. They didn’t give a damn about the people around them. But not until Seraphina Fernandez walked up to the San Albereda University’s main entrance.
Everyone was staring at her, causing her to bow her head.
Ah. Yes, she is still not used to the indifferent treatment she receives from the students at the university where she studies. She suffers from dysphemia, which causes her to stutter whenever she attempts to speak. Everyone, avoids her because of that, making her indifferent to the others.
When she noticed a group of students walking in her direction, she immediately changed her path. She tries not to associate with them as much as possible. Because they will, without a doubt, make fun of her again.
Seraphina quickened her pace until she arrived at the library. It was only then that she exhaled a sigh of relief. The library is not the main library, so there are only a few students there, or she may be simply too early. She adjusted her eyeglasses and set the books she was holding gently on the table.
“Thank God, maybe I’ll spend some time here first. My next class is at three o’clock in the afternoon, and I still have an hour,” when she finally entered the library, this was all she could think about.
She sat up straight in her chair, her long dress already dangling on the floor, but she was careless about that because she immediately took the book from the table and began reading it.
She was engrossed in reading when she noticed a commotion near the library’s exit. Students, particularly female students, gathered there. She shook her head silently, expressing her displeasure. Most likely, they’re referring to a random guy who is extremely popular at San Albereda University.
“Oh, I saw Nazel and Samel. They’re so handsome that I could die just staring at them all day…”
“That’s true, but it’s a shame Azel isn’t here; I heard he’s busy reviewing.”
“Azel is a law student, so you shouldn’t be surprised. Do you know what I’m talking about? He’s attractive, educated, and everything else. And no one could even afford him.”
Seraphina shook her head in disbelief when she heard about it.
“Maybe, I will seduce, Azel? Right? I’ll make him impregnate me…”
She was appalled by what she had just heard. She wasn’t used to such obscene behavior. She grew up in a traditional family. As a result, she was humiliated by what she had heard. Another thing is that they are attending a Roman Catholic University, but those women speak as if they are only attending a regular university. Of course, just because they attend a religious university does not obligate them to be religious as well, but they should be mindful of the words they choose. Not everyone is accustomed to hearing what they are discussing.
She swallowed and focused her attention on what she was reading. It was merely a meaningless gesture. It’s just that other people like to assume that there’s something behind those pantomimes, even though it’s s a negative response. She was still reading her book when she was interrupted by someone tapping the table where she was reading silently. She abruptly let go of the book, much to her surprise. Her gaze lifted to see who it was.
She noticed the girls talking to each other earlier, standing in front of her with a foreboding stance. She was terrified and had no idea what to do. She was anxious seeing them here in front of her. What if they lay hands on her? What if they humiliate her once more? What if they go above and beyond?
She is at a loss as to what to do about what is happening to her right now. Her chest was also tightening with fear and nervousness. This isn’t new to her, but she still feels this way. She lowered her gaze to her trembling hands, her fingers twitching in nervousness. She’s at a loss for what to do. She wishes she could just run away or vanish like a bubble in thin air.
“Look at me, bitch…”
She didn’t move or react, just stared down at her hands silently. So the girl grabbed her jaw and forced her to look at them. She noticed the girl’s menacing glare when she saw her eyes. She trembled even more at the sight of the girl’s anger and irritation. Even if she wasn’t looking around, she was aware that the students were watching her. She could feel it, the penetrating gazes of the students on her entire body.
“You do it on purpose, don’t you? Clearing your throat to stop us from talking?”
She quickly shook her head in response to what the woman said. She didn’t do it on purpose; it was her way of distracting herself from listening to them. Even then, she would not want to interfere with other people’s lives. She had many fears, and one of them was already manifesting itself in her life. The only thing she doesn’t understand is why the things she fears are constantly chasing her.
As the woman tightened her grip on her jaw, she felt a pain in her cheek. Her breathing is becoming more ragged over time. She couldn’t breathe properly because of her nervousness and fear, and she was already panicking.
“Yes, you are. Remember this, don’t mess up with me. Because this is not the only thing you’ll take from me next time. Understood?
She nodded as her tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked down as the woman released its hold on her face. They even slapped her before walking out from her. She was even almost deafened by the force of the woman’s slap on her. For sure her face reddened, and she can feel the pain in her cheeks. That hurts, not just by the fact that they physically hurt her but also by slapping her by the truth that she is really weak and helpless.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she adjusted her glasses and belongings. She felt so humiliated and embarrassed about what happened to her. Her eyes roamed the library, she bit his lips as she saw how some students looked at her with pity in their eyes. Some of them even looked at her like she was an entertaining show as if it was really a funny show. While others look at him with disgust. There are already a lot of students watching her, the incident really attracts attention.
Shame ate her whole being. She felt so pathetic looking at them. She no longer expects anyone to help her. No one dared to help her even before. Not even once. They are just watching, laughing, and pitying her. What would she expect from other people? They treat her like she has some contagious disease that they need to avoid so that they can save themselves.
“Tsk, attention seeker.”
“Why is she here in the first place? I don’t know why she’s still studying here.”
“Oh come on, let go of that mute, she’s just lack of attention.”
Seraphina can’t take it anymore, she can’t bear to let people detriment her, so she runs away. Every time that they will say something negative about her, every word will linger in her mind. And it was like a broken vinyl record that was repeatedly playing on her mind. She held tightly onto the books as she ran fast, away from the people, away from the judgments they have for her. She doesn’t know where she would go just to be alone. She just let her feet move to go somewhere, anywhere. She just kept running as she continued to cry.
Until she found herself in front of her parent’s graves. She was already outside of San Albereda University without her consciousness She ditches her classes. But her attention wasn’t there. She’s hurt at the moment. At this time, she doesn’t care what will happen to her class records. She wants to go far away from those people because if not, she might go insane.
She will go crazy if she would still think of what are the reasons why they treat her like that and what she did wrong to those people.
She caressed her parent’s graves as she let the tears come out of her eyes. She felt so alone, she misses her parents. If she just could turn back time, she will do that immediately. She would bring back the times when she was still with her parents. But she’s in reality, she can’t do that. She has no power to turn back time.
Her parents told her that when she grew up, she could do whatever she wanted to do. But now, she was already eighteen but she still can’t do what she wants. She still looks like a child with limited things to do. It was like she’s a prison of the people’s judgment, and she was afraid of them.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.
She did not like what was happening to her. She doesn’t want to feel those things, she just only wants a normal life. But the world insists on depriving it of her. She felt she doesn’t belong in any society that the world has. She was so alone in the middle of somewhere she can’t name. She was so lost. There is no home for her, and in her mind, no one will accept her.
“M-Ma, P-Pa, I-I c-can’t d-do i-it a-anym-m-more.”
Her tears flowed even more. She wept like a lost child in her parents’ grave. She can’t continue this life anymore but she has a promise to her parents. She had to move on with his life because that was what she had promised her parents before they died. And she just can’t afford to break the only promise she had for her parents.
They want her to continue her life and pursue her only dream. To be the most famous painter in this world.
But how can she continue if her life is like this?
ALMOST all the students in San Albereda University are looking at him. Adoring his every move. Fancying his everything. Watching him like a he’s the most entertaining show they have ever watched. But instead of feeling grateful, he felt irritated. He doesn’t want to be watched by everyone. That’s ridiculous. He feels they are imprisoning him with their every stare. And he fucking doesn’t want that. It’s so suffocating and so disgusting.
He glared at the girls whose looking at him without shame. They averted their eyes from him. Those girls are so fucking irritating. They have been giggling at him like he’s doing something with them.
He just put the earpads on both of his ears and continued reading. But instead of the feeling rivet with what he was reviewing, he felt so disturbed. His senses are sharp, he could count the students who had stared at him. And they are too many to mention. In aggravation, he stood up and walked out of the Law Library. And before he could go out completely, he saw the women gathering on the other side of the library, they were looking at him with admiration in their eyes. He clenched his jaw in annoyance. Women are a pain in the ass. He doesn’t want this kind of attention. Especially from women. Even before, he doesn’t like girls. He really doesn’t like them. They are too pestilent.
He went down to the ground floor and walked away from the building. He has no class to follow and attend. He just has morning classes for this day. So he wonders where he should go. He doesn’t want to go home yet. He wants to relax in the meantime.
While he is walking silently, he saw a woman walking fastly while looking down at the floor, she even looked like she was wiping her tears. And the woman looks so ashamed of people like she was afraid of the students that are watching her.
His forehead creased, he saw some students looking at the girl, they seem like laughing at the woman. He shrugged his shoulder off and went to the parking lot. He got in his car and drove it away from San Albereda University.
He traversed the whole of Mendiola, he was just driving without a certain direction, and he doesn’t even know where to go. He simply drove to where the wheels of his car would take him. Maybe he could kill time by driving around Manila. But while driving, his phone rang suddenly, he took his phone from the dashboard while his eyes are fixed on the road. It was his twin brother, he placed his phone on the dashboard again before he pressed something on his earpads to answer the call from her twin brother.
“What do you need?” he asked casually to the caller.
“Woah, it’s not what you think, brother. Nazarel is asking where the fuck are you?”
He rolled his eyes in a manly way while still driving his Mercedes Benz. “Somewhere in the city,” he doesn’t know where he is.
“Oh, Nazarel said fuck you for deleting his edited films.” He smirked at what Samael said.
He remembered what he had done to his other twin. He asked Nazarel for help with his things but his brother didn’t even give him a single glance. His twin brother Nazarel is busy editing his films. Nazarel said it was a project on one of his subjects. So in return, when he borrowed his laptop he deleted Nazarel’s film. It’s just a payback, alright.
“Damn you, Azazel. I will shoot you on your fucking head.” He smiled wickedly at his twin on the other line. Nazarel’s cold voice did not affect him.
“I’ll do it first on you, Nazarel. Anyway, start editing your films, your time is ticking.”
He heard Nazarel groan in frustration. He even heard Nazarel cursing him to death. That’s not new though. It was normal for the three of them to quarrel as if there was no tomorrow, they even cussed each other, calling names like they are enemies. Tch. He was maneuvering the steering wheel when he remembered something.
“Samael.”
“Yes, brother?”
“Fuck you, my penthouse smelled like zonrox last night.”
He came home late last night because he was busy reviewing for his bar exams. He was so tired from reading a lot of books, his eyes are almost closing, feeling so drowsy. And when he get home, he thought that he can rest immediately. But then to his surprise, he saw how chaotic his penthouse is. The clothes were on the floor and he did not know where they came from. There are even woman’s undergarments there. Then he went to his room, and his face furrowed even more. His room is so messier. Her belongings are out of their order. The bed was disorganized. But that wasn’t the only thing he hated the most, his whole penthouse smelled like zonrox. Damn the after-sex smell.
How could Samael make his penthouse a motel, damn it?
Samael laughed at what he said. “I’m sorry, brother, your penthouse is closer than my penthouse.”
His headaches at what he said. Like what the fuck? Is he kidding him? Samael’s penthouse is just near his penthouse. It was just a floor apart. Can’t he wait to get to seventh heaven? That even his penthouse was used for womanizing. If only he could have choked his twin brother now, he would gladly do it without hesitating for a second.
“Damn you, I’ll shoot you first tomorrow.” He clenched his jaw. “Fuck, I even throw your used condoms, are you stupid? You don’t know how to throw away the ones you use?”
“Silly, I will shoot you both tomorrow— fuck!” Then he heard a loud sound. They seem like fighting. He just turned off the call and let his twins kill each other. He would get even from Samael when the right time comes. As of now, the only thing he could do is to get pissed off by Samael.
He stopped in a club, he parked his car first in the parking lot before entering the club. He just really went through in this club. He doesn’t usually go to a club or bar. But there’s no wrong in trying though. He was immediately blocked by bouncers as he tried to enter. Woah, that’s fast.
“Don’t worry, I’m at the right age,” the two bouncers looked at each other before he was asked for an identification card. Security, huh.
After checking him, they let him enter the club. He placed his both hands inside his pockets. He was wearing black pants and a polo with a necktie. He loosened his necktie and looked for a seat. The club looks fine. It looks clean and legal. There are also a lot of people since it’s already nighttime, of course, the party starts at seven. Not bad for a club. This club also seems to be popular with some university students and especially the bachelor.
He sat in a stall in front of the bar counter. He immediately ordered a whiskey. He roamed his eyes around the place. Almost all the girls are looking at him. Desire and lust are in their eyes. He shook his head and smirked. Pathetic slut. Yeah, they are that kind of woman, slut.
“Even if you gave me that kind of look, I won’t fall into your trap.”
Girls are just all the same for him. They are all just the same species who want to get fucked by anyone. He licked his lower lip and closed his eyes. He let himself feel the ambiance of the surroundings while listening to the loud music, just for tonight, he will do anything for himself. The place is so loud. People were dancing behind him. He was even irritated because a group of girls is bumping on him like they are doing it purposely. He wants to shout at those people but he doesn’t want to make a scene. Fortunately, they stopped as well. Fuck these people.
“Hey, handsome boy, wanna go somewhere?” he felt someone whispering in his left ear. It was a woman, he smelled the sweetness of the woman’s perfume, and it irritates him more.
The way the woman talks is sensual and alluring. He even felt the woman caressing his hard abdomen, to his hard chest and going down, trying to reach his manhood but before the woman do what she wants on him, he immediately grabbed her hand. Maybe normal men will like the woman’s boldness and allow themselves to drown in worldly lust, but he’s not a normal guy. He is not just a man who gets easily attracted to any woman. It was just Samael, alright. But he is Azazel, he has strong restraint in this situation. He’s used to this kind of temptation.
“If I were you, you will leave me alone,” he said while his eyes are still closed.
“Why? Don’t you want to have fun tonight?” he frowned and looked at the girl wickedly. She suddenly looked scared of him but then composed herself, still not leaving his side. It was as if she had swallowed the fear she has of him. The girl has some guts.
“Oh come on hottie, I know you want this too.”
The woman started kissing his neck. But what the woman does to him does not affect him. Instead, he became even more annoyed. To his annoyance, he grabbed the woman’s elbow and pushed her to the floor. The woman falls hard, shivering as she looked at him again.
“How dare you!”
“I told you to leave me alone because I can hit a girl if I want to. And I just did it to you,” he said coldly before closing his eyes again. Damn this woman.
“Jerk!” but he just ignored the woman and didn’t even bother to glance at her.
“That’s why I hate girls,” he said angrily in a controlled voice and drank the glass of wine he was holding while his eyes are still closed.
All he wants for tonight is to get wasted. He felt so stressed suddenly.
He had been at that club for a few hours and he felt like he was already drunk so he decided to leave. He’s so drunk to the point that he can’t even walk properly. Yeah, that’s nice.
Why did he even want to be wasted? Oh, he wanted to forget the past. He was trying to run away from his sins. He just only wants to have a normal and peaceful life. But the world is against what he wants. Because every time he tried to run away the past is chasing him.
He smirked at what he thought. Fuck them all. Fuck all the people.
He no longer had on his mind while crossing the road to go on his car that was parked near the club, and he could even hardly walk properly. However, before he could get close to his car, someone stopped him from walking by pushing him on his shoulder. He laughed loudly like a mad man.
“Oh, someone wants to fight me, come here, asshole. Fucking fight me.”
And even though he was already drunk, he clenched his fists and smirked at the guys in front of him. If the past won’t let him live in peace. He doesn’t have any other choice but to fucking fight back. So that he will never lose in the survival game that the world has.
He is trying everything, his best, to have a normal life but the chaos is always hunting him. Well, he guessed, he lives to break rules.