Brothers of Paradise Series

Hayden-my Hayden-is fisting his hands in my shirt as if he wants me close enough that we’ll become one. His shoulders are taut under my hands, the skin of his back warm through his shirt. I want to touch him everywhere, my hands roaming as far as I can.

His hands skim my waist, fingers dancing over the faint display of skin where my shirt’s lifted. The touch is electric.

I’m suddenly aware of everywhere we’re touching. My breasts, pressed flat against his chest. His thighs, strong against mine. The heat of his breath against my mouth.

His lips skim my jaw and trail down toward my neck. He flicks my hair back impatiently and presses kisses to my skin.

Kissing Hayden was better than I could imagine, but the feeling of his hot mouth on my neck undoes me. It spreads down my body, the fire, making my limbs languorous and heavy. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his thick hair. I never want him to stop touching me. I never want him to let me go. I surrender to his imploring tongue, to the heat and the fire and the flames.

I lean back, pressing my forehead to his. He smells like salt and home. Like boy-on-the-cusp-of-man and all I’d ever want.

“Are you ever going to ask me out?”

His breath is coming hard. “You know you can’t date.”

“That’s not an answer, Hay.”

“I can’t, Lily.” His voice is hoarse. “I can’t.” He pushes me away and takes a step back. A hand in his hair, his chest heaving and eyes wild.

I put a hand over my own beating heart. “Hayden.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Let’s get you home.”

“What?” My lips still ache from his, body tingling.

“We can’t do this, not here, not… this shouldn’t be happening. Let me drive you home, Lily.”

Anger courses through me, just as suddenly as the desire. “You’ve had as much to drink as Parker. Why would you be able to drive when he can’t?”

“Damn it. Fine, I’ll walk you home.” He bends to grab my bag from the floor. I must have dropped it, completely absorbed in him.

“No.”

“Lily.”

“No.” I snatch my clutch back. “I’ll walk home alone, thank you very much.”

He follows me out through the living room. “It’s not safe.”

“When was the last time anything bad happened in Paradise Shores? Besides, I’d rather be alone than with you right now.”

Hayden steps in front of me, hindering my progress toward the front door. The music is a loud beat in the distance, the hallway deserted. “That’s fine. I can be quiet.”

Such a Hayden answer. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t mean it to.” He rubs his neck. “It was a mistake.”

A mistake?

The pain and the hurt lash through me. As high as he brought me with his touches, he can bring me just as low with his words.All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

For a second, all I can do is stare at him. When I finally answer him my voice vibrates with angry tears.

“If kissing me was a mistake, what does that make the rest of this?” I gesture toward the living room, the writhing bodies and alcohol and party drugs. “Spending your time with these people, with Belindas and Blairs and… people who couldn’t care less about you. I don’t for a second think that was the first time you’ve made out with a girl half-drunk in a hallway.”

He looks shocked, eyes wide. “That’s not true.”

“So what makes tonight a mistake, exactly? That it was me?”

“Lily, that’s not what I meant.”

“No? Explain it to me then.”

Hayden swallows, amber eyes locked on me. I can see him struggling for words, and for the first time, I don’t have patience with him.

“Never mind. I’m going home. Have fun without me here, bringing you down.” I head down the fancy glass steps from Turner’s porch and try to stop the tears from falling.

“Lily!”

I stop, a hand on the railing, and wait for the apology-the explanation.

It doesn’t come.

“Take Jamie with you, at least.”

A tear rolls down my cheek.

“I’ll text her.”

Lily

The present

I’m reeling from Hayden’s words.

Did he really write me a letter? If he did, it never got to me. It’s been ten years, but I’m flung back into the same state of anguish as when I was eighteen, waking up one morning to discover he had left. My heart is pounding with beat after painful beat. I had thought that the old fracture was more or less healed, but it hurts like it had been broken just yesterday.

I grab my jacket and my keys, hurrying out of the house and into my car. I’m filled with urgency-just like a decade ago.

When I’d called everyone to ask where he was.

When the days passed and there were no answers.

When I finally gathered the courage to hobble to the beach house on my crutches, to knock on the door, and to ask Gary where his nephew was. He’s gone, girl. I’m sorry.

The kind pity in his eyes had nearly made my knees buckle, as if he could guess just how hopelessly in love I was with Hayden. Hayden, who’d left, without a care or concern for me.

It’s late when I park at Ocean Drive 12, but I know my mom will be awake. Dad’s away on business, and for once, I’m happy about that.