CHASING TROUBLE

She had never thought of herself as a particularly sensuous person, but the truth was that Caroline wanted Nicholas to like her. She wasn’t fooling herself into thinking that if a physical relationship between them ever were to happen-as it so easily could have done last night-she would mean any more to him than any women who probably flitted in and out of his life. But she wanted him anyway.

She would be damned to no longer being able to work for him or his father if she did, damned to living with this ever-increasing aching need if she didn’t. Neither alternative held any appeal.

She gave a weary sigh. “I just think it’s better this way, Nicholas,”

What way? Nicholas scowled, frustrated. What thoughts were going through her head as she sat there so quietly and coolly composed? So unreachable. He had admired her classiness, this style and coolness about her, from the moment they’d first met. Had coveted it, even. Now he just wanted to do something, to say something, anything, that would shatter that coolness.

His mouth set grimly. “How long are you going to continue living your life like this, Care?”Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

“What?” She gave him a startled look as she sat forward stiffly.

“You lock everyone and every new experience out,”

Caroline gave a dazed shake of her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m trying to open your eyes to other opportunities,” Nicholas bit out.

“Stop it, Nicholas,” she told him shakily, desperately.

“No way,” he rasped firmly, his mouth tight. “It’s okay to be focused. But what you’re doing-the way you live your life.” He gave a decisive shake of his head. “It isn’t normal, Care. In fact, it’s unhealthy!”

Caroline stood up, her expression pained. “You’re being unnecessarily cruel, Nicholas,”

“I’m being truthful.” He scowled darkly. “How many men have you gone out with in the last few months, Care? How many men have you gone to bed with?”

Caroline’s breath felt as if it were burning her chest as she put out a hand to tightly grip the back of the chair so that he couldn’t see how much that hand was shaking in reaction to this unexpected attack.” I don’t have to answer your questions, Nicholas. It’s none of your business,” She shook her head, her face very pale.

“Then let me answer them for you,” he bit out disgustedly. “None, Care. I know I haven’t known you for too long, but I know enough about you to know that the answer is none. No dates. Not one single man in your life for the last few months, maybe even a year or more,”

Caroline shook her head as if to ward off the pained reality of his accusation.” You can’t know that, Nicholas. You have no idea how I live my life when I’m not in the office with you, the friends that I see.”

“Wrong, Care,” he retorted scathingly.

Her gaze narrowed. “What do you want? Would you rather I have a succession of men in my life in the same way that you probably have a succession of women in yours?”

His brows rose. “I don’t believe we were talking about my life, Care,”

“I don’t see why not, when you feel no compunction in discussing mine!” she was breathing hard in her agitation. “And who is that Rachael woman who wouldn’t stop calling you when we met? Someone you left or abandoned in New York? A girlfriend maybe….” She challenged tauntingly. “Could it be because you’re frightened of commitment….”

“Choose your words carefully, Care,” he warned in a dangerously soft voice.

Caroline was beyond the caution his words, his whole tense demeanor, advised. “You started it by criticizing my lifestyle, so why shouldn’t I be allowed to criticize your own lifestyle in the same way? Or the reason for it?”

A nerve pulsed in his tightly clenched jaw. “You don’t know what you are talking about.

“Oh really, but I’m not so far from the truth, am I?”

“You know what? Screw it! Do whatever the hell you want,” he said and looked away.

Caroline said nothing. They just stood there in silence. Caroline hated the conversation they just had, but she had to admit to herself that he was kind of right. She’d been so busy shielding herself and her heart, that she’d forgotten to live. She’d shut every man out… Until Nicholas. And that was because she was rapidly falling in love with him, that was why! If she wasn’t already in love with him already…. She had to admit that to herself, even though she couldn’t understand how or why it had happened. Especially so fast.

“Nicholas! I…I’m sorry about my remark earlier-when I implied you avoided commitment,” she explained reluctantly as he frowned his puzzlement. “It’s none of my business what happened in New York or who Rachael is and I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Just for the record, Care,” he explained, “l’m not frightened of commitment. I’ve just never seen the point. If I meet the right woman, then I may consider settling down and getting married, okay? So far I haven’t met that woman, but when I do I have every intention of asking her to marry me, okay?”

Caroline had a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. When Nicholas met the right woman he might get married.

Just the thought of him marrying this as-yet faceless, nameless woman was enough to make her feel ill. How was she going to feel when he married? How would she be able to go on working for him, knowing that at the end of each day he would be going home to his wife, to the bed they shared? Caroline couldn’t even bear the thought of it.

The things Nicholas had implied about her life paled into complete insignificance next to the thought of him ever getting married. She shied away from looking too deeply at her feelings for him, knowing it would only result in pain she wasn’t ready to deal with.

“Okay,” she accepted huskily.

She looked so small and forlorn as she stood there alone beside the fire, Nicholas acknowledged with restless impatience. The flames reflected in her hair, turning it to red-gold. That same gold sheen was in the depths of her eyes, and the honey glow to her cheeks. She was so beautiful… Nicholas’ breath caught in his throat as she returned his gaze. As those blue eyes seemed to turn to liquid gold, and a slight flush coloured her cheeks.