480 Finding Ground
(Winona)
The house is more charming than I expected-stonework covered in ivy, a wraparound porch, and large windows that bathe the interior in natural light.
It feels warm and lived-in, unlike the two more modern places we've seen. The kids are darting through the unkempt yard, Bobby and Sarah racing each other toward a large and fairly new shed, while Abby lags behind, looking at a large pond. "Not too close to the edge, sweetie." I call out and she smiles and nods back at me.
Henry clings to my leg, his little legs unsteady on the uneven ground. I scoop him up and put him in his pusher Jayden has unfolded.
Jayden wanders a few steps away, hands on his hips, surveying the property with a critical eye. "The house is more move-in ready than the others," he admits. "But it needs a lot of work."Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.
"I agree. But it just has a good feeling," I say. "And the pond's a bonus, but it'll need fencing off somehow. Henry's too curious for his own good."
Jayden nods, but I can tell his mind is elsewhere. "How big is the attic?"
"It's a good size," I reply. "Full of stuff leftover from the estate sale, according to the listing. The kids already have their eyes on it, but no one's going up there until I know it's safe. And we're checking everything to make sure it's not hiding a priceless artifact we can't replace." Jayden nods. "Like the estate."
"Exactly."
The kids' laughter rings out from the yard, a stark contrast to the tension pulsing between us. Jayden chose not to be a part of Lance's will reading. I mean, he didn't need to be there other than as support for Lisa and I. And maybe to help himself come to terms with Lance's choices.
But I'm done arguing over things we can't change, so I'm trying to stick with more positive aspects of my life. Choosing our future home is immediate. The penthouse has been okay again but the dynamic for Jayden and I have been... difficult, to say the least. The kids need some space. I need some space.
"So," I say, breaking the silence. "What do you think about this place?"
"It's nice," he says after a pause. "Not as modern a structure as the last two but more acreage. And it's the closest to the city, but it feels like we could be in the middle of the woods somewhere."
"I know right? I thought that too. Thirty minutes away and we are at Abby's school. It will take a lot more to bring it up to a modern spec. But I'm not afraid of that."
"Except you are carrying precious cargo right now and not overdoing things..."
I nod and rub my slightly increased abdomen. I've managed another four weeks in the craziest of circumstances, a little home reno should be fine."
I'm cautiously optimistic to hit the sixteen-week mark of this impossible pregnancy. Still following everything Klara instructed, and I talk to her on the phone often.
Jayden is now pushing Henry along the overgrown pathway. "There's a lot to be done out here too. It will be like an industrial site for a while, is that wise with young kids? The last one had a more user-friendly backyard space." "I know, but this one...well, it feels right, more like a home. We can move in right away."
"I'll leave it up to you."
"But it's our home, not just mine, isn't it? You need to love it too."
"Winona," he sighs, running a hand through his hair. "It's fine. I just-there's a lot going on."
I fold my arms. "I know. But this is our future, Jayden. Or are you saying we don't have a future?"
"Don't put words in my mouth," he says, his voice rising. "It's hard to focus on houses when everything feels... off."
Henry senses the shift in tone and looks up at me, wide-eyed. I offer him a banana from his snack bag. "Off? That's one way of describing it, I suppose."
"You're here planning this new life like nothing happened."
"That's not fair," I snap. "I'm trying to move forward because that's what we need. What the kids need."
"By running FinEase instead of working with me at Nexus Global?" he asks, his tone sharper now. "We had a plan, Winona. Or did that change when Lance left you his legacy?"
"That's not what this is about," I
argue. "But yes, I want to run
FinEase. Noved working with you on
Nexus, but this is my chance to build something of my own again. Without your mother torturing me with her crap."
Jayden's eyes darken. "I see. Well, lucky for you your friend Lance did you such a huge favor.""
"Don't be an asshole about it. It's not like you were welcoming her back into your life. You know how toxic she was. You can't tell me you aren't a little relieved."
"That is beside the point. What you did with Lance, with Phillip, that is what my problem is."
"What you did with Ashlyn was my problem. I had to work through that. I forgave you. I moved on. But you're the one who insists on living in the past."
"I'm not living in the past. You could have told me who you'd been with."
"Would it have changed anything? I was going to tell you. But I had to choose my battles. Now, I'm in limbo, are you on board with me or not?" "Look, I'm here now, aren't I?"
"You're here," I say, struggling to
keep my voice steady, "but you're still holding everything over my
head +made mistakes, Jayden. I've apologized, and I'm sorry I hurt you."
He looks at me but there's no love in his eyes right now.
I have to get my truth out and I'm taking a leaf from Lance's book, let the past stay in the past and live the day you have. "But I can't live my life in the past anymore. Judy is gone. That chapter of my life is over I'm excited for what's next—for the kids, for me, for this baby. But need you to stop punishing me for wanting to move forward."
His jaw tightens. "You're acting like this should be easy for me."
"It's not," I say, my voice softening. "But letting ghosts dictate your happiness is selfish and immature. Life is for the living, Jayden. And I need to live."