Find Me Alastar

His eyes meet mine.

My bottom lip quivers. “I’ve been missing you and now I find…” My voice trails off. I can’t even say

it loud.

He nods softly. “I know,” he whispers.

“That’s it? You don’t have any feelings for me at all?” My lip trembles as I try to hold back the stupid

tears. “Is this in my head? I need to know. I can’t stand feeling like this.” I can’t believe I’m standing here

in near tears practically begging for him to talk to me. I’ve hit an all time low.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

His haunted eyes meet mine. “Of course I do,” he whispers.

“Why?” I murmur.

He gently swipes his hand over my head to brush back my hair. “Don’t.”

“Why are you pushing me away?”

“Em…” He hesitates. “This is something that I have no control over. It is bigger than you and I.”

I screw up my face in pain and he pulls me into an embrace. “I don’t understand,” I whisper into his

shoulder.

“If I could change it, I would.”

I pull back to look at his face. “Are you sick?”

He shakes his head sadly. “No.”

My eyes search his for a much needed answer.

He takes me into his arms and holds me tight. I feel like I’m breaking. What’s wrong with him?

“Go home, my love. Please. Go home,” he whispers into my hair.

I pull back and shake my head as my anger gets the better of me. “No!” I yell. “I’m not leaving you

here like this.” Something is seriously wrong with him. He just seems so sad.

“It’s for your own protection. I need to protect you. Go!” he yells.

“Protect me?” I step back. What does that even mean? “You wont me hurt me, I know that,” I whisper.

He shakes his head angrily as he pulls out of my grip. “I have no control over this. If I did, I would be

by your side.” He walks over and sits on the lounger and puts his head into his hands in despair.

I stand still on the spot as I watch him looking broken on his lounger. I don’t know what’s going on

with him, but I do know that he needs me here tonight and I’m not leaving him like this. Something is

wrong.

I’m pulling out all stops. “Thomas told me you are hopelessly in love with me.”

His eyes snap up and he screws up his face. “What?” He didn’t.”

I nod. “Yes, he did. Just half an hour ago.”

He stands angrily. “Where did you see him?”

“At the Rose. He’s blind drunk.”

He narrows his eyes. “Well, he’s wrong. I don’t.”

My heart drops hearing him say it out loud. My bottom lip starts to quiver as I stare at him through

blurry eyes.

Empathy hits him and he rushes to me and holds me in an embrace, whispering into my hair. “My

beautiful Emmaline. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I do love you, baby. Don’t cry,” he whispers. “I can’t stand to

see you cry.”

My eyes search his. “We can make this work. Whatever it is… we can deal with it together,” I

promise him.

He holds me tight but doesn’t say anything.

I gently kiss his chest and then with controlled strength he pushes me off him. “No. I said no.”

My anger erupts. “You just said that you loved me!”

“I do. But it changes nothing. Leave now!”

I fold my arms defiantly. What the actual fuck is going on here? He’s talking in riddles and my anger

starts to simmer dangerously close to the surface. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck

is going on.”

He narrows his eyes and storms out of the room. I hear him march upstairs and then the doors bang

open and shut.

What do I do? Do I follow him? This man is messing with my head. I start to pace in the living room

when he storms back in, fully dressed with a set of keys in his hand. He locks the door that goes down to

the cellar. Huh? What is he doing?

“What’s down there that you don’t want me to see?” I frown.

“My photography equipment,” he snaps.

“You are home! You locked that from me.” He is hiding something. What has he got down there?

“I locked it because I’m going out.”