Finding Forgiveness

5. Leo was just generally in a foul mood after what Andrea did and it wasn’t making anything better

So unless Max and I were arguing or Leo was snapping at Luca, the car was dead silent.

It was a long journey but nowhere near as long as it felt. Needless to say, arriving home was a blessing.

“Mama!” A voice shouted the second the door opened. “Papa!”

It was Lili’s. She ran forward and jumped into my arms.

“Hello!” I replied hugging her tightly shortly before a small army of children entered the hallway followed by their captain, Rosa Loren.

There was a chorus of greetings and the whole house was filled with the squeals and excitement of our offspring.

“Did you get the candy, Mama?” Cato asked.

Shit.

“Um-” I began before Leo cut me off.

“It’s right here,” Leo said presented a bag of candy with French words on the packaging.

Cato took it delightedly as I mouthed a ‘how?’ to Leo.

He smiled and shrugged as we watched Cato dish out the little pink sweets between his siblings.

“Mommy,” Francesca said tugging on my hand. “Are you going away again?”

“No, sweetheart,” I said crouching down to her level as Leo took Stefano and Zacharias from his Mother. “I’m not leaving anytime soon.”

She smiled and hugged me before accepting the piece of candy Cato was holding out to her and rejoining her usual position twin sister.

That evening, after the kids were all cuddled out and fast asleep in bed I sat on the sofa wrapped in my favourite fluffy blanket. Leo sat beside me and handed me a mug of hot cocoa.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked. “There’s nothing else I can get you?”

“I’m fine, Leo. Stop worrying. Andrea is dead and we’re both still alive.”

I then leant onto his chest and allowed him to stroke my hair.

“You aren’t yourself,” he observed.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

I shrugged, “I just need a good night sleep.”

He leant forward and put his head in his hands.

“Do you want me to sleep somewhere else tonight?” he asked.

“No, no, no,” I replied, putting my hand on his shoulder. “That is the last thing I want.”

“Ella, I killed your brother! How are you okay with that?!” he shouted.

The volume of his voice and his frustration made me jump a little and I sat quietly not quite sure what to say.

“I’m sorry,” he said leaning back. “I shouldn’t have shouted after everything that’s happened.”

“Firstly, we agreed we’d go back to normal,” I said. “And secondly, I just want you around me, okay?!”

“But why?” he questioned adamantly.

“Because Andrea scared the shit out of me and you are my mate and the only person that can every truly comfort me no matter what you do or what happens,” I replied taking his hands in mine. “Don’t you dare try to distance yourself from me. Last time we tried distance, things went horribly wrong, remember? It’s best if we stick together and work through this as a pair.”

He nodded and pulled me into his chest.

“Tell me if you ever need space,” he said. “I don’t want to suffocate you.”

I smiled and kissed him gently on the lips, “Of course.”

END OF PART 1

Hint: it’s far from over yet…

PART 2

One week later,

“Cato where are your shoes?” Leo called from the hallway.

The chaos of the school run had begun and Leo and I had the unwieldy task of getting eight kids fed, dressed and ready to leave the house.

“Cato!” Leo repeated.

Of course, Cato was far too busy tackling Mathias on the living room floor to reply.

“Where are his fucking shoes?” I heard Leo mumble to himself. “Jesus Christ.”

I stifled a laugh before realising that those were shouts of pain rather than squeals of laughter coming from Mathias.

“Cato, get off your brother. You’re hurting him,” I said as I tried to juggle Zacharias and his bottle in one hand and cutting Lili’s toast in half with the other.

“Sorry,” Cato said hugging Mathias.

“Are you alright, sweetie?” I asked as Cato wiped his tears.

“Look, Mathy,” Cato said realising his attempts to comfort him weren’t working. “You can borrow my dinosaur for the WHOLE week!”

He held out his favourite toy dinosaur to Mathias who’s face instantly lit up.

Crisis averted.

“Mommy, I don’t want to go to school today,” Silas complained as he appeared sullen faced in the kitchen.

“You have to go to school, Si,” Leo replied. “We’ve had this discussion many times in the last few months.”

“I thought you loved school,” I said rubbing his shoulder.

“Not anymore, Mama,” he groaned climbing up onto the table and lying on it face down. “I hate it. There are so many rules!”

“There are rules here too,” I said. “And one of them is no climbing on the kitchen table. Come on, find your bag and we’ll talk about this later.”