shuhaige
23 – Marianne
When I finished my shift, I went straight home to start preparing dinner. After a short period of time, Jack arrived as well. I greeted him at the front door as I normally do and gave him a brief peck on the lips as I did so.
The action made Jack smile widely as he returned it and hugged me.
“Come on, let’s eat. There’s – There’s something I would like to discuss with you later,” I told Jack while keeping the same smile on my face.
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Wow, what a coincidence, mom. I have something to tell you, too. And I swear you’re gonna love it!”
Jack was smiling from ear to ear. I didn’t want to ruin his joyful mood so I forced myself to smile as well and join in the meal. After eating and finishing dinner, Jack and I went to the living room to talk.
“So, what’s up, mom? What did you want to talk about with me?” Jack asked me, his eyes carrying a mixture of curiosity and excitement.
It seemed as though my back was covered by ice. I looked down at my lap and tried my best not to emit any sigh. “I think you should go first, Aki… What is it you wanted to tell me?”
The smile doubled on Jack’s face. His eyes went brighter as he spoke with elation and pride, “We’re working on a big project and it’s going to be done in another country. Guess which country, mom? It’s New Zealand! It’s going to be for one year, mom. And you won’t believe what’s going to make this even more interesting! They told me that I can bring one family member with me!”
Jack couldn’t contain his happiness and gave me a hug. I embraced him back and congratulated him on his new accomplishment.
“Mom? How come you don’t look happy? You mentioned that it was always one of your dreams to travel to that certain country ever since you were a young child. Could it be that you’ve become attached to this town and don’t want to leave?” Jack muttered, “Well, if that’s the case, then I won’t go there anymore, either,” and made the decision in a childlike manner.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I gently stroked his head. “It’s not that… Aki.”
“Right, you wanted to say something earlier. What is it all about, mom?” Jack asked me.
If I were to tell the truth about myself and allow my ego to take control, I could accept Jack’s offer, and the two of us could travel to New Zealand together. I could also ask him to go with me as soon as possible and to never come back to this city again. It was something that, without doubt, and in a heartbeat, he would agree with.
But I was unable to. In the end, the mother that I was inside, took a stronger grasp on both my head and my heart than a lover ever could. So I opened out to Jack and told him everything. I told him about our situation, about Crista’s pregnancy, and what Crista and I had talked about over the past few days as well as what she wanted from Jack. As a mother, I made this decision for the sake of everyone.
And then, for the first time in my life, I saw Jack – the mature and adult Jack – cry. Then he just stared at nowhere, his expression seemingly at a loss at what to do.
The silence became uncomfortable and painful for the both of us but I let it.
Jack remained silent for a few moments before speaking. He spoke with a flat tone devoid of any passion or any emotion, his eyes cold and seemingly lifeless as he looked down, “So what you’re saying is that you’re capable of looking after our child all by yourself. Is that it?”
Despite the increasing pain in my chest, all I could do was nod my head, eyes avoiding to meet his. “… Yes.”
Jack rose up and walked out of the room, leaving me alone in the living room. It was the first time he had treated me in this way. It hurt twice as much, but I didn’t let out any of my frustration. Then, to my sorrow, it continued to rise tremendously in the months that followed…
During those months, Crista and Jack finally got married with the assistance of Crista’s parents and me. Jack continued to go to New Zealand as his team at work required him for their project. He took his wife Crista and their baby with him.
I resigned from my job as a real estate agent and started a flower shop business that I had long dreamed of doing. I also gave birth and occasionally received help from Ryan and Jonah whenever I strongly needed them. During those times, they never once complained and extended help the best they could. It was something I would forever be grateful for.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.
During these times, Jack and I had no communication.
I wanted to speak with him and tried to fix our relationship as a mother and child but somehow, it didn’t happen. I thought that maybe, it would be better for us to forget the past. Deep inside, I began to think of the possibility that Jack and I would return to how we used to be. Towards one another, as a parent to her child and a child to his parent.
But the cold war between the two of us continued, much to my disappointment. And after some time, I too started to feel exhausted from trying to make things better between us. As days continued to pass with neither of us trying to mend what was broken, the emptiness and the bitterness between us grew to the point that there was no longer a shred of connection between us that we could cling to.
With a heavy heart and a sour taste in our mouths, our story came to an end.
…. Or so I thought.
Because the moment Jack and Crista came back to the city, my life, which had been nothing but peaceful, has been thrown into complete disarray once more.