THIRTY FIVE
=ASHER’s POV=
Right after Ashley came out, Paula immediately approached me.
“Is it true what you said to Hailey, Asher? Is it true that you’re still ready to go back to that woman after what she did to you? Does it mean you can leave me anytime so you can go back to her?”
I didn’t answer Paula’s question. I cannot tell her the truth because I didn’t want to hurt her.
“Tell me.” She slapped me on the chest repeatedly but I just kept quiet.
I never felt anything for her. But she didn’t show me anything bad. When Ashley left me she was always by my side. I forced my heart to love her but I really felt nothing for her. Yes, I used Paula to forget Ashley and I also use her now to make Ashley jealous.
“I need to think, Pau,” I said calmly.
“Think of what? What are you going to tell me that I can’t get hurt, huh?! You still love her, right?”
“Pau, please, calm down,”
“Tell me what on you’re fucking mind?!”
“I am sorry, please don’t push me to answer,”
“Answer me!” Paula shouted.
“Come, Pau, let’s let leave him first.” Agatha approached her and take her hand but she refused.
“No! I need his answer. Answer me, you still love her?”
“Paula, please don’t provoke me, I am with you and you are with me,
“I don’t want that answer, you still love her? Yes or no? I will not leave her until you will give me an answer.” She looks at me angrily. “Answer me!” She slapped my chest.
“Yes, I still love her and that hasn’t changed even if you’re with me,”
“The thickness of your face!” she shouted as she slapped me once again but I let her.
“Pau, enough.” Agatha holds her.
“You won’t be happy, Asher. You won’t be happy mark my word. You will gonna hurt more than what you give me. You will gonna suffer because of choosing her.” At once she slapped me hard and ran out.
“Follow her,” I order Agatha.
“Ash,”
“Follow her and comfort her, I will talk to her later,”
“Are you ok?”
“I am, Paula needs you, please stay with her,”
“And you?”
“Please, go with her, before she will do anything,”
“Ok,” Then she left.
“Fuckkk!” I throw anything on my table when Agatha came out. I held my head because of what was happening. I was so confused and I didn’t know what to do.
Ley may be right in what she said. I was scared to know the truth what Ashley’s reason why she left me because I thought maybe I was the one at fault so I didn’t investigate. But is that enough that it is my mistake why I let her go?
I love her and I’m ready to go back to her but she doesn’t want to. But why does it seem to be my fault that I lose her?
I didn’t want to know what they were talking about. But I want to know the truth. I want them to be able to talk to both and tell me the truth. I want to be clear on what happened. Especially the truth about Chanley. Not completely but at least I know a little bit. She left me and hurt me. But why do I look bad now? Why do I still seem to be wrong?
I followed them in the conference room. When I reached there the door is slightly opened. I was about to go inside but I heard their conversation so I just stopped to listen to them. I’ll just listen to them from here.
“Even hard rocks break if it’s constantly watered. Stop this madness. You are not only hurting yourself, but you are also hurting him especially because you keep showing on him. You’re just driving his brain crazy.”
It’s Ley talking to Ashley. Is she saying Ashley is hurting too? Well, I hurt her physically but why I had this feeling that she was referring to something else.
“Ley, we’ve been hurt both for a long time. This is the only way I can be with him without introducing Charles to him. Let me, Ley. I need him, I need both of them.”
What the hell is she’s saying? She wants to stay as my PA so that she can be with me without introducing me to that man and she cannot leave that man as well?
But why?
What’s wrong with that man and who he is and why she can’t leave even though she says she still loves me?
I smiled at what she said. I don’t know if it’s because of the thought that she still loves me.
“Stop it, Ashley. You’re making a fool of yourself. If you don’t feel sorry for yourself, feel sorry for Asher. We know that even though he’s getting stronger and tough on you, he still loves you.”
“You once become stupid because of love, don’t you? You must be the first to understand me. We may have different ways and feelings of love but we have the same reason why we do such things. Ley, because we love them and we don’t want them to out from our sight.”
I didn’t hear anything from them. It was as if no one of them had spoken. I want to go inside to find out and engage with them but I choose to stay outside. Until Ashley speaks again.
“Ley, I love Asher. He’s not the first but he’s the last. But I can’t turn my back on Charles and you know that. But I need Asher more but he shouldn’t meet him. Asher will never come back to me but it will never change that he will be the last man I will love. Ley, I just want to see him and be with him until he forgives me.”
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She loves me but she can’t turn his back on that Charles?
What’s wrong with that asshole and who the fuck he is?
Why can’t Ashley leave him?
“Damn love. That’s why our lives are plagued because of that stupid love.”
“Ley, let me be with him, I want him as my strength right now, I need his presence at least. To remind me about our good memories. Our happy memories and we once shared. It gives me strength to survive.”
“What can I do? If I was the first to become a fool because of love.” Ley said in calmly tone. “I will let you stay with him, but when something bad happens to you, I will take you back.”
“Thank you, Ley, thank you,”
“As long as I can, I’m just here. I’ll help you, I won’t leave you, but I hope you too become ok before your brother will come.”
“Yes, I will, I’ll stay with him until we’re ok.”
Is that really the only reason why she came back? To asked forgiveness from me? Can’t I really get her back as my wife even though she really loves me?
“You should because I’ll take you back before your brother finds out the truth.”
“Thank you, Ley, I love Asher so much, Ley. I love him so much. So thank you for your understanding.”
She loves me and she wants to stay by my side so we can be together somehow. But she couldn’t leave that Charles. She needs me as her strength because Charles needs her.
I love her and I want her to mine, to be ok at my side.
Maybe, it was enough to torture her.
I need to give up. It hurts, but I need to. She can’t afford to choose so I will choose for her. I will set her free so that she will not hurt again.
I may never see her again when I do that. But if that can keep us both in peace, even if it hurts, I will accept. I will set Ashley free, for her own good.
Because I love her so much.
I will release her and I will give her the forgiveness she wants. Even if it’s mean that I will be hurt for the rest of my life.