Chapter 15
Terra
The ornate bedroom doors closed heavily behind me, sealing away the outside world for a brief respite. I leaned back against the cool wood, eyes squeezed shut as I focused on slowing my breaths.
The whirlwind of emotions since arriving yesterday had left me dizzy and reeling. I just needed a moment alone to regain some fragile composure before facing it all again.
This lavish suite was larger than my entire apartment back home. But its opulent grandeur only emphasized how jarringly out of place I felt.
Like a feral alley cat wandered unwittingly into a pedigreed parlor. I may have shed my downtrodden orphan identity, but sliding back into the role of pampered princess did not come naturally either.
Collapsing into a plush armchair by the marble fire/ I pulled out my phone and dialed the familiar number, craving the comforting voice of my rock in the storm. Collins picked up on the second ring.
“There’s my favorite doctor! How is the mysterious house call going?” His playful warmth instantly eased some of the knotted tension in my shoulders. Just hearing Collins’s voice grounded me, reminding me I had a new life and identity apart. from this suffocating place now.
Still, I could not fully relax or speak freely here, acutely aware of potentially prying supernatural senses. “Oh, you know doctors married to the work,” I deflected lightly. “But the kids must be driving you crazy. Please tell me the clinic is still standing.”
–
Collins chuckled. “We’re managing somehow without our wonder woman. The boys miss you of course, but we’re keeping busy. Plenty of movies and junk food to distract them.”
Homesickness and worry tugged sharply. I wished I could simply scoop up my rambunctious boys and cuddle their soft warmth to soothe my unease. But that comfort remained weeks out of reach yet.
“You’re the best, Collins. Seriously, I don’t deserve you.” I hoped he could hear my immense gratitude through the simple words. I never could have weathered this emotional upheaval without him steadying me quietly from the sidelines.
“I’m happy to help. Just focus on your work and come back soon, okay?” His caring tone wrapped me in much-needed warmth. We talked a while longer about inconsequential matters, allowing me to pretend for a few moments that my world was not tilting off-balance again.
After we eventually signed off, I sat staring into the empty marble fireplace, emotions churning.
Reuniting with Nathan had cracked open the scar tissue around wounds I thought permanently healed.
Seeing him again with fresh perspective made me realize how young and naive we both were during our disastrous mating attempt. Perhaps in another life, if fate had not divided us so cruelly…
Abruptly I stood, breaking off that dangerous train of thought. Lingering fantasies served no purpose now. I could not undo the past or the immutable mate bond that had shattered my life once.
My duty was ensuring no lasting complications came of this temporary return, then returning swiftly home to my newfound peace and purpose.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
With fresh resolve I changed from my rumpled travel clothes into a coolly professional long dress and swept my unruly curls up into a practical twist that felt foreign after so many years wearing my hair down and natural.
But the severe style matched my determined mood. I would interact with Nathan only as necessary to treat his father, then keep my distance. It was safer for us both that way.
Satisfied I looked capable and detached, I took a fortifying breafft and exited to begin my work.
Nathan had shown me to a fully supplied clinic suite I could use for examinations and treatments. Though still luxurious compared to my modest office back home, at least here I felt confident and focused.
Within these clinical walls I could be Dr. Terra, not the uncertain girl left floundering by Nathan’s presence.
I had just finished organizing instruments when a knock preceded the suite doors opening. Nathan’s towering beta Derek entered, ducking his head politely. “Pardon the intrusion. But the former Alpha is asking for you. I can tell him you’re busy preparing if needed.”
1 offered the imposing inan a reassuring smile, appreciating his tactful interference running defense between me and the complicated past I wished to avoid. “It’s no trouble, thank you Derek. Please let him know I’ll be right in.”
After the beta departed, I took a steadying breath before following after him down the grand hallway toward the ornate master suite. Despite me**y steeling myself, h on still slowed my feet as I approached those towering doors concealing so many ghosts and memories. But T‹ not avoid this forever. Better to rip the bandage off swiftly.
My brisk knock was answered by a raspy invitation to enter. Pushing past the heavy doors, my gaze fell immediately to the massive canopy bed dominating the lavish room..
Propped there amidst what seemed endless embroidered pillows was the former Alpha, appearing so diminished and frail that I scarcely recognized the proud wolf who had loomed large as a second father in my childhood memories.
But his sunken eyes kindled warmly seeing me, his cracked whisper still rich with gracious authority. “Terra…so good of you to come, my dear.”
I quickly crossed to clasp his outstretched limp hand, offering a gentle smile. “Of course. There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now.”
And despite my turbulent emotions around this visit, the sentiment rang true. However much it complicated my orderly life, refusing the dying old wolf’s plea for help was unthinkable. Not even Nathan could harden me that fully against my compassionate instincts.
Drawing up a velvet chair beside the bed, I settled in to begin taking thorough notes on symptoms and vital signs, keeping up a stream of soothing chatter throughout the lengthy examination. Though obviously weary, the former Alpha remained stoic and cooperative, only occasionally wincing at some indignity. My heart went out to him as I helped prop pillows and straighten his bedclothes once finished.
Before I could withdraw, he stirred slightly, clouded eyes seeking me out. “Thank you…for coming. My son wronged you terribly once. I cannot blame you for harboring resentment.”
An old sadness welled up in me. I had revered this wolf for most of my childhood, basking in the attention and approval I craved from a father figure. Hearing him acknowledge the unjust humiliation his own kin inflicted upon me stirred a bittersweet mix of emotions.
Grasping his gnarled hand in both my smaller ones, I met his faded silver-blue gaze earnestly. “The past is done. I’m only glad fate allowed our paths to cross again when you need me most.”
The former Alpha searched my face with penetrating eyes that likely saw far deeper than I wished. But he merely smiled gently and gave my hand a feeble, grateful squeeze. “You’ve grown into a fine young woman, Terra. A credit to your lineage.”
I returned the smile weakly, the oblique praise kindling complicated feelings. My own obscure parentage remained shrouded in mystery.
Part of me had always harbored a secret hope that perhaps my long lost mother or father might have been someone important, like Nathan’s family. That could explain why the pack’s influential Alpha had taken personal interest in raising a random stray orphan like myself.
But fanciful speculatiort serged little purpose. I had long since accepted the likelihood I would never know my true origins. The family and life I had painstakingly built alone meant far more than abstract bloodlines ever could.
Still, discussing the past always stirred an odd disquiet in me lately, like a crucial puzzle piece hovering just out of reach. There were secrets here I perhaps did not want dragged fully into light, but my curiosity increasingly burned to understand.
Realizing I had lingered lost in contemplative silence too long, forced a brighter, professional smile and withdrew my hands gently from the former Alpha’s weary clasp. “I should let you rest now,” I said briskly, straightening the tapestry quilt covering his thin legs. “We can discuss treatments tomorrow which you’re feeling stronger.”
He nodded, eyes already drifting shut, their silver gleam dimming. But his whispered “Thank you, child,” followed me out of the gloomy sickroom. More ghosts than the living seemed to linger in this place. I wondered if I would someday join their haunting ranks.
Over the next days I focused singularly on my healing duties, grateful for the distraction. Evaluating tonics with Vera, strategizing novel treatments with the skilled ph blessedly occupied. Within the clinic rooms Tali whatever chaos brewed outside those walls.
15, and updating the meticulous charts kept my hands and mind It like myself again, confidently navigating a familiar environment
Nathan kept a respectful distance, only approaching when necessary to confer privately about his father’s condition. To his credit he did not attempt resuming any pretense of intimacy from our complicated past. I remained cautiously reserved in our interactions, but his solemn sincerity made it difficult to entirely resent his presence. This new gravity well suited the Alpha’s bearing, unlike his impetuous youthful mistakes.
Still, glimpses of the charismatic boy who had stirred my young heart despite all good sense now and then broke through Nathan’s stoic mask when we spoke. The echo of that magnetic pull left me rattled each time. I needed to remain vigilant against even a flicker of fledgling trust that could leave me burned once more.
During scarce hours of rest, I often lingered by the wide window overlooking the moonlit forest behind the estate, searching the stars as if seeking answers there. But their cold light revealed little, just as it had all those years ago when I fled heartbroken under their impassive gazes. Sometimes it seemed the moon’s guidance itself had abandoned me. I had only my own resolve to cling to now.
At night my chaotic thoughts blended seamlessly with restless dreams. Visions of strong arms wrapping me in tender warmth interspersed with hazy recollections of tears spilt over cruel words. Serene acceptance warred endlessly with bitter anger and hurt. Would I forever be torn between past and present, unable to find resolution?
A week after my arrival, when the estate’s cloying atmosphere and isolation threatened to fully smother me, I escaped into the nearby village on a supply run. The errand provided a welcome chance to clear my head and remember the wider world still existed beyond these oppressive walls haunted by ghosts.
While the pack shops displayed the same charming rustic wares I remembered from childhood visits, new fashion boutiques and trendy cafes revealed encroaching modernity. Surrounded by the lively bustle of everyday mundane concerns, the painful memories lost some of their immediate intensity. I could breathe easier again.
At a cozy bakery emitting heavenly aromas, I indulged in coffee and fresh pastries while skimming messages on my phone greedily.
Collins sent regular updates and photos to let me share in the boys’ daily antics. Seeing their precious smiles lifted my spirits exponentially.
I wished I could reach through the screen and pull them close, bury my nose in their tousled hair, cradle their plump warmth on my lap. Their unconditional love was the only balm powerful enough to soothe all hurts.
On impulse I decided to video chat Collins briefly, desperate to see and hear my little pack, if only electronically. Their rambunctious shouts and giggles washed over me as soon as Collins answered, bringing instant tears to my eyes. When their chubby faces crowded eagerly close to see me, the dam broke entirely.
“Mommy! You’re crying!” Luke immediately exclaimed in distress, his sensitive soul mirrored in those big amber eyes, so like his father’s. I laughed wetly, wiping my cheeks on my sleeves.
“Happy tears, baby. Monnny just misses you all so much!” My voice hitched dangerously on a s**b. But Levi and Landon’s barrage of chaotic chatter quickly made me laugh again.
“When are you coming home? Uncle Collin is fun but not as good at your special pancakes,” Levi complained. Before I could answer, Landon grabbed the phone, screen briefly going dark as he pressed his nose to the camera.
“I drew you pictures!” he announced, holding up pages full of colorful scribbles. “Are you bringing presents?”
My heart overflowed watching their perfect faces scrunched in concentration to decipher my grainy image. How had I ever thought I could manage weeks apart from their precious energy? But I would endure anything to secure their well-being and happiness. They were iny guiding stars, the reason to keep fighting through darkness.
After Collins eventually managed to peel the phone away despite loud protests, the boys’ glowing faces lingered in my mind long after the chat ended, buoying me up. Their sweet innocence remained untainted by old heartbreaks still haunting their mother. I needed to remember what truly m 1. amidst the ghosts vying to drag me down – creating a life of joy and possibility for those boys to inherit.
With my perspective realigned thanks to a cherished glimpse of home, I continued my errands recharged. Even passing the bakery’s cozy little apartment upstairs no longer brought a sting.
The bright colors and elegant trim now seemed garish compared to my tastefully decorated clinic and cozy home overflowing with love and laughter. My true place in the world had become clear.
I need only stay strong a while longer until this brief obligation was fulfilled, then happiness awaited back where I belonged.