His Sexual Addiction

Chapter 54: The Memories

He nodded slowly, his voice trembling as he tried to explain the overwhelming emotions he was experiencing. "Yesterday... was the day Lily passed away, Lyka. It marked the anniversary of her death," he said softly. I stayed silent, allowing him the space to share his feelings. "I don't really know why, but the memories of her flooded back yesterday. Everything that happened between us came rushing back, and it left me feeling overwhelmed," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "I felt the need to drown those memories, drown them in alcohol, to try and forget her... forget everything." "So, I drank all night, hoping to numb the pain. And then morning came," he looked at me with a mix of regret and confusion, "and you were there, in my room, when I woke up. I can't remember what happened afterward... I don't know what I did or said to you." I lowered my head in response, closing my eyes momentarily to absorb his words. But inside, I felt empty, unsure of how to process it all. "Why didn't you just tell me yesterday? Why keep it a secret?" I asked, mustering the courage to confront the situation and looking each of them in the eyes. "L-lyka, we noticed something’s going on between you and Sir Kiro," Miss Linda replied, her voice gentle. I was taken aback by her honesty and sneezed involuntarily. Turning to Kiro, I asked if he had confided in them. "You two are too obvious, Lyka." Miss Linda admitted with a sheepish smile. At that moment, I realized that Miss Linda and Madam had already seen through the unspoken connection between Kiro and me. The glances we exchanged, the way we cared for each other - it was all written on our faces. And now, the truth was out in the open. A mix of emotions swirled within me - surprise, vulnerability, and a hint of relief that I no longer had to bear the weight of this secret alone. I felt grateful for Miss Linda's candidness, as uncomfortable as it made me at first. Miss Linda continued, "We care about you, and we were worried, Lyka. We do not want you to see Kiro drinking because of his ex, we don’t want to hurt you."

A sense of vulnerability washed over me, making me feel exposed. "Are you saying that you're not hiding anything from me now? Do you truly care?" I questioned Madam, feeling a mix of hope and anxiety. "No more secrets, Lyka! We're sorry," Joday said, her expression reflecting regret. I nodded, accepting their apology, but I needed space to process everything. "I'm going to rest," I announced hastily, eager to escape the tense atmosphere in the room. The weight of his actions, driven by memories of Lily's death anniversary, perplexed me. As I left the room, a whirlwind of emotions swirled inside me. Confusion, anger, and a deep sense of loss clouded my thoughts. Was I just a replacement for Lily in Kiro's heart? I couldn't help but wonder if his feelings for me were genuine or merely a response to the past. Was it because he remembered his dead ex in me? I needed time to sort out my own emotions and decide what to do next. One thing was clear – the walls that held my heart were getting higher and stronger, and it seemed like nobody would break through them. Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, I couldn't help but wonder if I would always have to adapt to Kiro's emotional triggers. Memories of Lily seemed to haunt him, affecting our relationship and making me question my place in his heart. Sitting on my bed, my head spinning with thoughts, I suddenly felt nauseous, and a wave of dizziness washed over me. Struggling to keep my composure, I rushed to the bathroom, barely making it in time before I vomited into the toilet. My body trembled with both physical and emotional turmoil, leaving me feeling weak and vulnerable. Gazing at my reflection in the mirror, tears welled up as I tried to make sense of everything. My face, usually composed, now looked disheveled and worn with the weight of the revelations that had just unfolded. I splashed some water on my face, hoping to calm myself down, but the tears kept streaming down my cheeks. I had believed things were going well between Kiro and me, but now it seemed like everything was falling apart. The pieces of our relationship, once so beautifully arranged, now appeared scattered and out of reach. The realization that he couldn't remember what happened that night shook me to

my core. I felt a mix of anger and sadness, not just for Kiro's actions but also for the fact that he hadn't confided in me earlier. Why did he keep it a secret? Was our connection not strong enough to weather the storm of his grief together? The questions circled in my mind, and the uncertainty weighed heavily on my heart. I wanted to be understanding and supportive, but I also needed to protect myself from further hurt. It was a delicate balancing act, one that I wasn't sure I was equipped to handle. Leaning against the sink, I took deep breaths, trying to steady myself. The sound of running water mixed with the sound of my own quiet sobs, creating a symphony of emotions in the small bathroom. I longed to escape, to have some time to myself, but I couldn't ignore my family's dependence on me. And what about Kiro and me? It felt like my feelings were genuine, while his were unclear, clouded by memories of the past. Taking a deep breath, I composed myself and left the bathroom, only to find Miss Linda waiting for me on my bed. Her sudden avoidance had troubled me, and now she appeared concerned about my well-being. I was still hurt by her actions. "L-lyka, are you alright?" she asked, her voice filled with worry. I didn't meet her gaze and pretended to search for something in the maid's quarter. "I'm fine," I replied, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Are you sure you're telling the truth?" she probed gently. I couldn't bear her accusations. "When have I ever lied to you? I've always been honest with you since I arrived here…you are the only one who keeps hiding something from me," I responded firmly, meeting her eyes with a serious look. "It's not like that, Lyka. I'm sorry," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. I couldn't ignore the sincerity in her words, but the pain I felt made it hard to forgive so easily. I turned away, pretending to be occupied with the cabinet to hide my tears. "L-lyka... that's not what I meant. I didn't mean to hurt you. I thought... I thought it would be best for both of us if I distanced myself," she explained, her voice cracking as she apologized. I struggled to

hold back my own tears, trying to appear strong. I still do not get her. I do not get her reason at all. Taking a deep breath, I finally turned to face her, allowing vulnerability to show. "It hurt when you avoided me. I thought of you like a second mother in this mansion, but then you pulled away so suddenly," I admitted, my voice trembling with raw emotion. "L-lyka, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just scared…” she confessed, tears streaming down her face. Hearing her honesty softened my heart, and I allowed myself to let go of the hurt. "I understand, Miss Linda. We all have our struggles," I said, reaching out to hold her hand, offering forgiveness. We both shed tears. "It's okay, I'm used to it," I replied, trying to put on a brave face despite the tears welling up inside me. As Miss Linda approached, I quickly wiped away the tears, not wanting her to see my vulnerability. But she could sense my pain, and without a word, she enveloped me in a warm embrace. "Lyka, my dear, I used to think of you as my own child too," she said, her voice filled with affection and sorrow. I turned to face her, holding back my tears as I hugged her back tightly. The floodgates opened, and we both cried on each other's shoulders, finding solace in the shared pain. "Miss, I don't understand what's happening anymore," I confessed amidst my tears. The burden in my chest felt both heavy and light as I clung to her. Her comforting hand on my back made me feel secure, and I tightened my embrace. "You don't have to understand everything. You can always tell me what you're feeling," she reassured me gently. I nodded, appreciating her support, and we allowed the silence to envelop us. At that moment, I realized how much I missed Miss Linda's presence. Even in the absence of words, her love and understanding were enough to make me feel safe and supported. I knew I could always lean on her, just as I had done before.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.