Holding on to you

Two years later

“No, I’m not going to go out partying all night with my roommate, Killian.”

I rolled my eyes as he laid down another set of rules for me to follow, I was starting to think that he’d never let me live on campus.

“Red, I don’t like this one bit, I’d much rather you rent an apartment off-campus and share it with someone if you want to.”

Here we go again! Killian was having a hard time letting me stay in one of the dorms at the college we both chose to attend, which was UC Berkley.

After that whole Natasha thing, I just couldn’t stay in that house anymore, and I felt like a needed a distraction, so I applied for late admission into college. Killian wasn’t too keen on my choice, but he applied so that he’d be there with me.

However, I couldn’t honestly see him letting me go off to college by myself. At first, I wanted to spend the entire three years living on campus, but after much arguing and disagreeing, we agreed that I’d stay the first and last year with him and the second year on campus. I honestly don’t understand his constant needed to have me in his sight always.

“Baby, I told you it not the same as living on campus, and besides you promised that you’d be ok with me doing this.”

I finished putting away the last of my items in the closet on my part of the shared room. The room was quite big and I knew that it was due to Killian. I’ve seen some of the other dorms when I first arrived, they were much smaller with the girls having to share one small closet space. I was told by a few girls that it sucked to have to share a bathroom, but I was glad that the room I was in had two separate bathrooms.

I turned to face Killian who looked like he was scowling, I held back a laugh and decided to take pity on him.

“I don’t have to move in tonight, I’m sure that my roommate would want to have the place to herself on her first night here.”

Walking closer to him, I laced my hands around his neck and instantly his hands came around my waist.

“We can go out and have something to eat then go back to our place and end the night with a bang, what do you think?”

His lips tilted up into a smirk, I saw the mischievous glint in his eyes and it made me excited. However, before I could comment on it, his lips crushed mine in a slow sensual kiss.

Someone cleared their throat, breaking our kiss. Killian and I turned at the same time to see who the intruder was, but when I saw that it was my resident advisor, I felt redness crept into my cheek.

Hannah, my resident advisor, looked from Killian to me then back to him again. I saw her eyes widen just a bit and I started to get mildly irritated as she blatantly checked him out right in front of me.

I folded my arms and frowned at her, and Killian didn’t make my mood any better when I heard him chuckled beside me.

Seeming to break out of whatever trance she was in, Hannah blinked a few times then smiled at both of us. However, her eyes would linger more on Killian.

“Lilly, right? I just wanted to check on you and see how the move is going, and to let you know that if there’s anything that you need just give me a shout and I’ll see how I can help you.”

Sweetness laced her voice, but somehow I felt like she wasn’t talking to me at all. Between every few words, her gaze kept landing on Killian, and it took everything in me not to grab her by her perfect red hair and tear her eyes out.

I tried not to glare at her, but I knew that I was failing at it big time. And because I was feeling territorial, I leaned into Killian, putting my hands around his waist.

“I’m fine, Hannah, and don’t worry I’ll be sure to call you if I need anything.”

Her smile was overly sweet and she hesitated a bit before she moved away from the door. When I was sure that she was gone, I turned and glared at Killian.

“On second thought, maybe being away from me will make you appreciate me more. Or better yet, why don’t you see if Hanna is free, I’m sure that she’d love to spend the night with you.”

Ok, so maybe I was being a child about it, but I saw the way he looked at her. I knew that he’d never cheat on me, but I’ve never before seen him looked at another girl with anything other than mild appreciation.

He tilted my chin up and used his thumb to smooth my pout away. “Red, I could die and come back a million times, and there could be a million different girls to choose from and one million times I’d choose you.”

My frown faltered and a smile slipped into its place. Sometimes it amazed me, the depth of his love.

After Hannah left we made our way back to our small one-bed apartment that Killian rented for the three years of college. We decided that instead of going out to eat, we’d go to this party that the Alpha Delta Phi house was throwing. There were only two other occasions that we went to frat house parties, and both times I got hit on by drunk guys, and Killian didn’t take too kindly to that. However, the only reason he accepted the invitation to go to this one is because the guys that asked him were the only three guys in the entire college that he called friends.

When we arrived at the party everyone was already half-drunk and falling over themselves. Dave Talbot, Bentley Brown, and Sammy Drew greeted Killian, they started to drag him off to where the other frat house brothers were, but he declined, saying that he didn’t want to leave me alone. However, I wasn’t having any of it. It was the first time that I’ve ever seen Killian made an effort to make friends and I wasn’t going to stand in his way. Ever since Mik went on his search for Jessy, I could tell that Killian was a bit pissed off at him. It has always been him and Mik, but when Mik left he had no one. I tried to be everything for him, but whatever relationship he and Mik had, I couldn’t measure up to it.

“It ok, baby, you go I’ll just walk around for a bit and say hi to a few of the girls that were in my class last year.”

He narrowed his eyes and give me a hard look, and I rolled mine. “Don’t worry, I won’t take any drinks offered to me, and I’ll be sure to stay away from the male species.”

His shoulders relaxed a bit, but I could still see that he was hesitant to leave me, so I leaned into him and give him a reassurance kiss. When I pulled away, he nodded his head and went off with his three friends. The guys wanted him to rush their house when he first started, but Killian thought that getting stick with a million pins would be more tolerable.

I watched him walked off, then when he was out of sight, I went in search of the bar. After nearly getting knocked over a few times by sweaty, dancing bodies, I found the makeshift bar at the back near the kitchen.

I asked for soda water in a bottle, the guy went to get one from the cooler in front of him, but then he looked up at me smiled, then fished one out of the cooler that was behind him for me, and I thanked him. Walking around, I met a few girls and said hello to them but I didn’t stop to join in any of their conversations.

People around college have a name for me, it’s prude. I don’t know how they came up with that evaluation when they saw me with Killian every day, that in its self should prove that I’m not a prude.

It’s not that I didn’t want to make friends because I do, but I just wasn’t interested in the things that they talked about, every other conversation is about some hot guy or some girl’s terrible fashion sense. However, I knew that I’d have to try harder to get along with others, or I’ll be a friendless loser for the remaining two years.

“Hey baby, you wanna dance?”

The bottle that was at my mouth stilled and I jerked forward when I felt rough hands grab both my ass cheek. I knew that it wasn’t Killian, so I turned and slapped the pervert so hard that it echoed over the music.

“Firstly, I’m not your baby and secondly, touch me again and you might lose an arm.”

The words were barely out of my mouth when I saw a furious Killian approaching. I didn’t want a fight to break out, so I push past the drunk idiot and intercepted him. his eyes were so focused on the guy behind me that he didn’t even saw me until I put my hands on his chest.

“Please, drunk guys do stupid things, let’s not make a scene about it, please.”

He looked torn; like he wanted to tear the guy apart, but he also didn’t want to leave me alone again.

“I knew it was a bad idea letting you wander around by yourself, from now on you’re staying by my side.”

I smile and nodded, but instead of feeling upset for his caveman behaviour, I was happy that he didn’t go after the guy. He grabbed my hand and made his way over to the guys. They all looked up when I came in but were wise enough to keep whatever they thought about me to themselves. I knew that a few of them thought that I was not exciting enough for someone like Killian, but I didn’t care. I have all the excitement I can handle from Killian when we are alone, so I stuck to being plain Jane when I’m out in public.

He took a seat in one of the sofas, placing me on his lap. I tried my best to ignore, the looks that I was getting but it was pretty hard to do. The hand he had on my waist dug into my sink, and it was only then that I realised I was fidgeting around on his lap. A blush crept up my cheek when I felt a bulge pressed against my ass.

I turned to look at Killian and he looked very tense, his hand moved into my hair that was in a ponytail and he pulled it free. Moving up, until his lips were at my ears, he whispered, “If you don’t keep still, I will drag you off to the nearest room and f**k your brain out, understood?”

Swallowing the lump the sie of mount Everest that lodged itself in my throat, I nodded my head. He pecked me on the lips then just jumped back into the conversation he was having. I was bored stiff and since I had nothing to do, I threw my hands around his neck and rest my head on his shoulders. My head was feeling slightly fussy, but I ignored it, thinking that it was the crowded room that was getting to me, and it wasn’t long before I was drifting off to sleep.

However, when I opened my eyes again I wasn’t sitting on Killian’s lap, instead, I was lying in a strange bed with the bed covers pulled right up to my chin. I shot up so fast, pulling the cover off, I checked to make sure that I was still wearing my clothes and almost cried out when I saw that I was not. But, I relaxed when I saw that I was wearing Killian’s shirt.

A crazy thought entered my head, did we have sex whiles I was sleeping? Embarrassment showed on my face, but I brushed it aside and decided to go in search of Killian. Outside of the room that I was in, I could hear the party in full swing. I got up and tried unsuccessfully tried to locate the light switch, and after knocking over almost everything and bumping into everything, I finally found it.

Turning it on, I located my jeans and put it on, but I decided not to wear the top, Killian’s was much more comfortable.

I walked over to the door and tried to open it, but it never budged, I tried a few more times but still nothing. Getting really frustrated, I looked frantically around the room for a phone or some other way out, I was just about to scream when I saw my purse lying on the floor.

Getting excited I picked it up, my phone was in there and I could call Killian to come get me. As I pick up the bag, I saw a paper next to it, picking it up I read it.

“Keys for the door are in your purse, call me and I’ll come get you, I don’t want you wandering around by yourself… I’m going to kill the person who gave you that soda water!”

I got the keys out of my bag, but I didn’t understand the last part of his note, why was he upset with the guy who gave me my drink? I wasn’t sure why Killian was angry, but I knew that I had to get to him fast before he does something that I will regret.

My phone started ringing just as I was about to leave the room. Thinking that it was Killian, I answered it without checking to see who it was.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Lil, is he there?”

I smiled when I heard Kinsley’s voice. Ever since that whole Natasha thing, Kinsley has only kept in contact with me, she refuses to speak to Killian. She was away at UCLA in her first year, she decided to study criminal law as her major. We made sure to call each other at least once a week, our calls are mainly about school, we never talked about what happened between her and Killian.

“No, he’s not, you’re free to talk.”

I heard her relax, “I just called to let you know that I’m settled ok, and it’s really nice here. I’m thinking about rushing Alpha Chi Omega, so I might be really busy for the next week, so if you don’t hear from me it’s not because I died.”

I laughed, one time she didn’t call for over a week and I started panicking thinking that something terrible happened to her. When she finally called, I freaked out on her.

“Ok, I get it, I might have overreacted last time.”

She snorted, but I ignored her, “I’m glad you like it, and I hope you get picked for your sorority. I’m living on campus this year, my room is awesome, I still haven’t met my roommate, but fingers crossed she’s awesome too.”

We talked for another ten minutes, but then she had to go, so we said our goodbyes and hang up. I quickly stuffed my phone back into my purse and left the room to find Killian.

I worked my way through the sea of bodies and made my way to the room that Killian was in last. When I entered a few of the guys looked up, but quickly looked away again. I ignored them and start searching the room from Killian, after a while I spotted him talking to Hannah, he was only wearing his vest, and the bitch’s eyes were all over him.

Just the sight of them together raised my angry demons. It was clear to see that she was flirting with him, and the fact that he was just standing there letting her do it, pissed me off. I squared my shoulders and made my way over to them, when I was almost within touching distance, I heard the guy next to him say something that stopped my progress.

“Hey, bro, Hannah is a far better choice for you, man. She’s hot, and she knows how to have a good time. That girl you’re with, she’s nice and all, but I bet she’s a bore in bed.”

I felt the tears pricked at my eyes and I turned to walk away, not wanting to hear him insult me anymore. However, just as I made to move off, Killian’s hand shot out capturing mine. He pulled me to him, then turned to the guy who now wore a shocked look.

“Hey, man, how did you know that she was behind you?”

Killian’s voice was cold, and from the amount of venom that it was laced with, I knew that he was angry.

“When you have the kind of connection that we have with each other, you begin to feel the other person when they are near as if it’s your own heartbeat.”

Hannah looked at me and I could see the envy in her eyes, the guy just looked confused and horrified, as if connected with anyone on an emotional level was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

Killian glanced away from them to look at me and smiled softly, but when he turned back to face them all the softness was gone.

“And trust me, boring is never something I’ve experienced with Lilly, in or out of the bedroom.”

He didn’t wait around to hear what they had to stay, instead, he turned and walked away, still holding my hand. I wanted to speak, but I was unsure of what I should say. We made our way through the crowd of people, never stopping until we were out of the house. Fed up with the tense silence, I pulled my hand away from him.

“Are we going to talk about what just happened?”

“No, we are not.”

I grunted, he was so frustrating to deal with. He reached for my hand again, but I took a step back. His cold eyes held mine, and I could see the challenge in them, but I refused to back down. He might be pissed off, but so was I!

“You left me locked in a room so that you could go flirt with my resident advisor if I hadn’t walked in when I did, who knows how far your flirting would have gone.”

His eyes softened for a bit, but then it was cold and hard again. “I gave specific instructions for you not to leave the room by yourself and you disobeyed me!”

Oh, I was furious now, “You didn’t give a f**k how I would feel waking up in a strange bed with my clothes gone!”

I stepped closer to him and shoved him, “I was scared, Killian, I didn’t know where I was or how I even got there, and the one person in the world who I trusted to protect me left me to go flirt with another girl!”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

My shoves on his chest turned into these pathetic girly punches. I didn’t even know that I was crying until he grabbed my hands and pulled me towards him. he tilted my chin up and wiped the tears away with his thumb.

“Lilly, I never would have left you if I didn’t think it was safe. Whoever gave you that bottle of water laced it with a drug that caused you to pass out. I wasn’t flirting baby; I was trying to find out which one of those idiots tried to rape you.”

I stared at him wide-eyed, “Someone tried to rape me?”

I knew I sounded like an idiot repeating his words, but I was confused. I made sure that the bottle was unopened when I took it.

His eyes darkened in that dangerous way that it does, and I felt chills run down my body.

“One of those f**kers in there tried to take advantage of what is mine, and I’m going to find out who it is and make him wish that he was never born, but first I’m taking you home, where it’s safe.”

His words were spoken so softly, but I knew that he intended to carry out his threat. We walked hand in hand to the car and when I was safely strapped in Killian drove off. However, when I looked back at the house I saw the guy who gave me the bottle of water, but what shocked me was the girl I saw standing with him… Natasha!