Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 15: 15 Attrazione

Attrazione

Translation: attraction

Origin: Italian

15

Anywhere I sit, I'll feel him.

He's everywhere.

I think that is how the human brain thinks when a person develops an attraction towards someone. Yes, I am or either I am denying the fact that I'm quite attracted to him.

Just quite.

I mean he can be kind of sweet for a second then completely cold the next hour and that makes him actually quite mysteriously intimidating. Most of the times it somewhat makes me wonder what's on his mind if he hears my name being mentioned, or when I'm around him or if I'm somewhere near him.

I can quickly tell if a guy is attracted to me and it's really easy to distinguish. But when it comes to Nick, he definitely does not belong into that category at all. Which is why I'm trying so hard to do the best that I can to find out a reason on how on earth will I be able to stop whatever this thing that I feel every single time I'm around him or he's near me cos he will never notice me.

Nick turns on the radio, and Tracy was already lying her seat back with her feet up on the dash. But my mind can't stop thinking about how awkward it's going to be if Tracy's gonna to sleep the entire drive. I think he's still mad at me.

I glance at Nick, and he's busy adjusting his rearview mirror while his eyes briefly meets mine. "You're comfortable back there?" he asks.

"Yep." I say.

He turns on the engine and looks straight ahead to the road, while I look back down at my lap where my fingers were resting.

Probably thirty or forty minutes pass, the movement of the car is making my head hurt again and Tracy was already sleeping on her seat. I wanted to ask Nick where we were going but then I remembered he doesn't like questions so I just shut it up. I also wanted to make a conversation with him so I won't at least get bored, but I just don't know if he even wants to talk after the conversation we had a while ago.

So I just slowly readjusted myself in the backseat, massaging my temples as I lean my head back while propping my feet up on the console between Nick and Tracy. He glances at me in the rearview mirror cos of my movement and he holds his stare at me for no longer than three seconds, then looks back at the road. We've both been quiet and no one has been starting to talk. Well we don't have anything to talk about anyways so it's better if we just be quiet.

I have no idea what's going through his head right now and I hate it. I hate it cos I can't read him. I don't know if he's mad at me for what I asked, though I wanna know what I did wrong that made him look at me like I did something terribly terminal. I don't even know if he still wants to talk to me too. I don't know why he always change his attitude towards me right away. I'm so curious about Catherine as well cos their past is so mysterious to me.

But the thing that I really really dislike about Nick is that he never smiles more than five times a week. I don't think that's even normal. I think Nick Wilde is abnormal.

A person who never smiles isn't normal right?

He never laughs as much too. He's so stoic and solidly hard as stone. Plus, he doesn't flirt.

God what's wrong with him? I thought.

It's like his face keeps a strong metallic armor between his impassive expression, around his cold heart and extends to the rest of us.

I really want to know so bad all the thoughts that pass through Nick's head behind that unwavering, stoic and blank expression on him.

I hate it.

I really really hate it.

Well, I'll be honest but I've always been a total sucker for the quiet types. Not the weirdo ones but you know the intelligent, gentleman and the man of a few words kind. I find it intimidating when a man is mysterious, since most guys I know talks too much, and it's annoying sometimes. Quiet types are sexy, for me. Intensely mysterious too.

But Nick is worst than a quiet person. If there's a word quieter than quiet then I think that's him. That's Nick. But no matter how I try to hate him, he's still sexy as hell and it's frustrating me most of the times.

I was still staring at him in the rearview mirror though. I don't know why I was doing it. Maybe I was trying to figure him out. I know it's weird but I just want to read his expression even though it's just the same.

Funny thing is, when he glances at me I quickly look down at my fingers. I feel a little embarrassed when he catches me staring at him. And this is so childish. But that mirror feels like it has tons of magnets in it cos my eyes just keeps on shooting back up to look at him.

I gaze outside my window. Just one more look. One more look. I thought to myself.

The second I look back into the mirror again, so does he.

I look back down again.

Shit.

Why does he always catches my glances at him? It's hard for me not to look longer cos I still feel bad for asking about Catherine and his expression is just hard as rock.

This drive is probably going to be the longest drive of my entire life. Well maybe cos Nick is here that's why I'm thinking it's long and my subconscious mind keeps on telling me that Nick and I being in a place with small space is terribly the most dreadful thing ever.

Why dreadful?

Cos I'm so conscious about my every actions done when he's here and my mind reading ability on Nick is bugging me every single time he looks at me briefly. God I wish I was a psychic.

So I make it four minutes before I look at him. I pulled out my phone and kept gazing at it to check if it's already four minutes, then I slowly look again.

Damn it.

So does he.

I quickly looked out of my window and wasn't able to hold it in. I smiled. I smiled cos this was just too cute. And I'm a little amused by whatever game this is that we're playing right now. It was stupidly cute. I glance at him...

He smiles, too.

Oh god.

He.

Just.

Freaking.

Smiled.

It was the most beautiful and the most natural gorgeous smile I've ever seen on Nick's face since the first time I saw him. It was a smile that pushes up into his eyes cos he's trying to hide it. The way his eyes got chinky and the way those crinkles around them is appearing. God it was beautiful.

Nick quickly looks back at the road, but that smile is still on his face for several seconds and I can't stop staring at it. Oh god, I want to take a photo of it before it disappears again, before he gets all moody again, before he gets all stoic and hard to understand again. But that would be weird if I take a photo of him.

Nick makes me go lunatic. First he was so cold at me after I mentioned Catherine a while ago and now he's smiling cos we caught ourselves staring at each other every time. He's so weird.

"Is there a nearby gas station? I really have to pee." I say.

"There's one." He says while pointing.

He slowly drives into the gas station and parked. I quickly stepped out of the car and looked for the bathroom as soon as I found it, I just stared myself at the mirror. I really didn't want to pee but I just needed a different air. Not that it was smelly inside the car, but I feel like my heart is beating fast on my chest and that the air was too small for the two of us. My heart can't contain and his smile is still on my mind.

When I was done standing by the mirror, I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Nick inside the store, looking at something inside the fridge. When he caught me, he pulled out both of his hands and showed me two different beverages. He wants me to choose between the coke and the other is juice. I shake my head. He picks another drink, it was Sprite. I shake my head again. I walked inside smiling cos I wanted water. I went near him.

"You're so choosy." He says.

"Sorry. Is the drive still long? You're buying some drinks." I said, picking up a bottled water.

"We're almost there. I'm just thirsty and I'd be selfish enough only to buy drinks for me." He answers as I watch him pick up an orange juice.

Of course, it has to be orange.

Both of us headed to the cashier while I grab a few junk foods. "Where are we really going?"

"Visiting our mother." He answered.

I didn't ask him any further questions cos I might say something else that'll make him even mad at me. He sounds like he's in a good mood. I don't want to ruin this good mood he's in. He paid for the drinks but I paid for the junk foods I grabbed. It wasn't just for my consumption but for the three of us as well. We went back inside the car and the drive goes on.

I placed my feet back on the console while chewing on the junk foods on my lap. "Want some?"

He shakes his head and focuses on his driving. I ate quietly while the music on his car was the only thing sounding again inside. It was a J.Lo song called Jenny From The Block and I was mouthing the words to it. I moved my head along while I think of myself that I was rapping good. I was killing the

song, I tell you, even my hands were moving. I was carried away by the song until I notice that Nick was slightly smiling as he gazes at me, making a fool out of myself. I feel my cheeks warming.

"I thought you had issues about classic RnB music." He says.

"Are you kidding me? It's J.Lo." I answered in.

All of a sudden he lowers his arm for it to rest on the console, but my feet are in his way. I push myself up, "Oh. Sorry," I say, as I begin to pull my feet back.

His fingers suddenly wrapped around my bare foot, stopping me from doing so. My eyes almost came off my eye sockets as I feel his hand on me. "It's okay." he says.

His hand is still wrapped around my foot and I'm staring longer at it. I'm staring at how he holds my foot like that. His hand is so big. Holy hell, I feel something moving. His forefinger just deliberately moved, slightly stroking my pinky finger. I really feel him rubbing my foot. I know he did that.

My thighs slightly clinch together quickly, my legs feeling a little bit tense and my breath literally stops in my lungs, because I'll be too damned if I'll lie that I didn't feel his hand caressing my foot before he pulled it away.

I have to chew the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smiling but I'm still trying so hard not to do it. Oh god I just have to look out of my window to keep myself entertained by the thought of his hand slightly caressing my foot.

I think you're attracted to me, Nick.

I bit my upper lip so I won't smile wider cos of what I just thought.

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The car starts to park after almost three hours and I found myself on an open grassy field. Tracy starts waking up and all of us hops out of the car. Nick grabs something from the back of his car and it were flowers.

Gasp.

This is a cemetery.

Tracy hooks her her arm on my arm and we were following where Nick was walking. I just watch Nick ahead of us, he looked like a model. He could possibly fit as a model cos look at him. He has the height, the body, the looks and that shouldering blue eyes.

When Nick stopped, we stood right beside him. We stood right before a gravestone while Nick puts down the beautiful sunflowers right next to it. Tracy rests her head on my shoulder while the wind was bleeping our hairs.

"Hi mom. We're here." Tracy speaks.

"Happy birthday." She added.

I read what was written on the gravestone. Melissa Colin 1961-2007.

But isn't Tracy and Nick's surname Wilde? Why is she Colin? Did she remarry? So she died eight years ago. I wonder what happened to her. I glanced at Nick and he looked dead serious with his eyebrows creasing while the wind was blowing the top part of his hair and his hands were inside his pocket.

"This is Savannah by the way mom. She's my roommate and my friend. I brought her with us cos she's the nicest person I met and I want you to meet her too. I like her." Tracy gazed at me while smiling.

I smiled back at her.

"No lesbo." She jokes.

I chuckled.

"Aren't you gonna say anything to mom, Nick?" Tracy stared at him.

I looked right at him too.

"Hey mom." He speaks.

I just kept my eyes glued on him. He looked so serious while staring at his mother's gravestone. I wanted to know what happened to her. His eyes terribly looked sorrowed and scarred cos the way he stares at his mother's gravestone.

"I miss you." He muffled.

__________

SFTC:

Uh Oh I'm Fallin' - Shelly Fraley