Loving You Too Long

Gilbert’s group of friends arrived, each carrying drinks and food in their hands. They placed them on a table not far from their reach. “This is truly a fantastic vacation, G,” exclaimed one of Gilbert’s female friends, if I’m not mistaken, named Reia.

“Say thanks to my brother, guys,” that was Gilbert’s only response. “We’ll be staying here tonight. There are four rooms, and you can divide them among yourselves,” Nathan said, expressing gratitude on behalf of Gilbert’s friends. A chorus of amazement followed. “Don’t worry. We won’t run out of food until we head back tomorrow,” Nathan replied again.

Lunch came suddenly. They were served steak and salad. Imagine eating the best beef in the middle of the ocean beneath the roar of waves and strong winds. And don’t forget the occasional waves that made the yacht sway. How do you feel? Haisley chose the word ‘nauseous’ to describe it all.

Her stomach churned. Her body had been continuously drenched in cold sweat since earlier. Even the sirloin she used to enjoy now tasted bland in her mouth. She truly didn’t like this. Luckily, Gilbert was still looking out for her.

When the men decided to go fishing and swimming, and the women chose to sunbathe and swim, Haisley decided to sit inside the boat. She curled her knees up on the soft couch, suddenly feeling weak.

“Are you okay?” Gilbert offered her warm lemon juice, hoping to relieve Haisley’s nausea.

“You know I’m not!” Haisley replied softly after murmuring her thanks for the lemon juice he handed her. “Tell me if you knew about this plan, G?” she accused without hesitation. Gilbert had now taken off his expensive sunglasses. His eyes gazed at Haisley, emphasizing that he also didn’t know anything.

“I wouldn’t be this cruel, Princess,” he replied. Yes, Haisley had to believe him. Gilbert clearly wouldn’t torment her like this. And clearly, Nathan was doing all this because he liked Loretta too much. And Haisley couldn’t blame him for that.

“Sea sick?” The girl who occupied her thoughts appeared before her again. Looking at her with a worried expression. Haisley could only give her a faint smile.Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

“Yes,” she answered shortly. Loretta sat on the couch across from her. And Nathan, who came later, chose to sit next to his woman. Should Haisley snort?

The pain surged through her heart again. But Gilbert’s comforting hand on her head calmed her. “I didn’t know we’d sail like this,” she said softly. Her gaze shot sharply toward Nathan. “I thought we’d just have lunch and then go back to the cottage and decide to camp on the beach afterward.” Haisley expressed what was on her mind.

“I was actually surprised too. I didn’t think Nathan would do all of this. I did tell him that I love the beach and the ocean. Turns out, he went all out for this. And you’ve made me really touched,” the girl looked at Nathan with admiration, then turned to Haisley with guilt in her eyes. “I’m sorry, H. If Nathan’s surprise made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay,” she replied. “Maybe later, if we go to America, you really should visit Miami. Most tourists love it,” Haisley suggested, met with enthusiastic nods from Loretta.

“Yes, gladly. I’ll go wherever my guide takes me,” she continued. Haisley could only smile in response to the girl’s enthusiasm. “But before that, I want to enjoy this island. Who knows, down there, I might see something beautiful,” she said, which Haisley interpreted as her way of saying goodbye.

Loretta then got up and left them with a wave of her beach sarong. Now, only Nathan, Haisley, and Gilbert remained in the spacious room, yet Haisley still felt suffocated.

“Your face is getting paler. Shouldn’t you rest?” Gilbert offered, to which Haisley shook her head.

“I’m fine, G. I’m really okay. You better go out there. Your other friends might get bored,” she replied softly.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Gilbert continued to look at Haisley with concern. Haisley nodded, trying to reassure him. She didn’t want to be the hindrance to Gilbert and his friends’ vacation.

“Oh, come on, G. Do you think I don’t know that you’ve been itching to plunge into the water since earlier?” she teased. Gilbert laughed and finally got up.

“If anything happens, you know where I am, right?” he asked. Haisley nodded again. Then Gilbert left. Now it was just Nathan and Haisley, sitting facing each other in silence. Haisley kept her knees bent, sitting sideways and leaning one shoulder against the sofa.

“I didn’t know it would be this bad,” Nathan said softly. Did Haisley hear it right? She sensed a tone of guilt in his words.

Finally, Haisley turned her head and looked at the handsome man she had admired for so long. “Tempora Mutantur, Et Nos Mutamur In Illis. Time changes and we change with it,” she replied, offering only this response to Nathan. “I also didn’t know you could be this sweet to a girl you like,” she continued without meeting Nathan’s eyes.

Her heart ached, and for some reason, her words seemed to make her eyes well up. “You’re really sweet. Crystal made a big mistake rejecting you.” Haisley’s words appeared to surprise him. “I’ve known all along that you liked Crystal. I was even there when you confessed to her. Crystal probably never imagined that changing times could also turn a cold Nathaniel into a sweet man. Because as far as we knew, it was always Gilbert who showed his friendly side.”

“How do you know that I liked Crystal?” The question was cold. Haisley shrugged.

“Let’s just say I accidentally overheard,” she replied casually.

“Then when did you decide to be in a relationship with Gilbert? Didn’t you like me all this time?” he accused.

Haisley stiffened. She didn’t expect such a direct question to come from Nathan. Not about her relationship with Gilbert, but about the fact that she liked him.

“Times change, don’t they?”

“I can’t bear to like a guy who doesn’t like me back, especially a guy who prefers my sister over me.

“It’s heartbreaking to think that I, someone who’s nothing special, have to compete with the extraordinary Miss Crystal.

“Basically, I’ve become someone aware of my abilities and weaknesses,” she said, trying to string words together that didn’t quite match her reality. She shifted her gaze to Nathan and gave a faint smile. “So I thought, liking Gilbert makes more sense for me. He can be nicer and more attentive to me. Plus, he won’t use my sister as a comparison.”

“So, you’ve decided to stop liking me?” the man asked, still in his cold tone.

Haisley smiled again, then nodded. In her heart, she cursed herself. “Yes. I’ve decided not to like you anymore.”

“Since when?”

Haisley shrugged. “Maybe since I knew that the name Haisley will never exist in your heart?” She said rhetorically. “I have to know my limits, Nath. I have to know when to start and when to stop. At least that’s what you adults do. Choose what’s best. Select what’s advantageous and let go of what might be detrimental. And I chose to let go.”

“And you think I’m something detrimental?”

Haisley nodded. Nathan clenched his fists. Frustration. Anger. And other emotions swirled within him. “Just consider my past affection as a silly crush. And didn’t you always see it that way?

“I can’t keep up with unrequited love. Don’t we need both legs to pedal a bike forward?

“I don’t want to fight alone. I want to enjoy my youth by finding complete love.

“It’s okay to be hurt, but waiting for something without certainty is foolish.”

“Aren’t you also investing to get certain results? Even though failures are inevitable, you try to minimize that possibility.

“So do I.

“I don’t want to make my heart a gambling chip anymore. Even though the possibility of heartbreak will always be there. But at least, if I invest my feelings in someone who understands me, I won’t hurt too much because at least I’ve received the love I need in return.

“And I think, I can’t get it from you, but I can get it from Gilbert.”

Nathan still looked at her with a gaze Haisley couldn’t interpret. But she tried not to care.

In fact, she had made a firm decision now. Yes, it seemed she would do what she had just expressed.

She would stop loving Nathan. Try to find someone new she could love and who would love her back. Even though clearly, that person wouldn’t be Gilbert. Because Haisley also knew that all this time Gilbert had someone he loved too. And Haisley only regarded Gilbert as a friend, a companion, and also a brother she never had.