Married to the mafia boss Series

Arabella

Antonio is pissed.

He called to tell me just how pissed he is at Carmelo and how he is now an untrustworthy soldier. I fear for whatever punishment will be given to him, I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant to be so reckless.

I want more than anything to run to Liliana and see my precious Viola. I can’t because that will mean Leonardo would come to their penthouse with me and I refuse to expose Lily and my goddaughter to pedophile. So, I’m stuck with him.

I lock myself in my bathroom and try to do some meditation. I focus on my breathing in an attempt to calm myself down so I don’t go into a panic attack. I have never been good at dealing with emotional overloads, have never been good at regulating my emotions. In psychology, I learned that that’s why a lot of people cut themselves. They do it because they don’t know how to deal with their emotions so the physical release gives them something to think about in place of that. To feel something other than the numbness that comes along with reliving trauma.

I hadn’t cut myself since I was about seventeen. Hadn’t even thought about cutting myself until now. I stare at the razor and debate on forming new scars on my wrists-or maybe I’ll try my thigh.

I get as far as picking up the razor before throwing it in the garbage. I can’t do it again. Can’t go through this part of my life again. I thought it was over. I thought that I was free. Vinny was always supposed to be there to protect me. There was never supposed to be another need to get a bodyguard, not when my husband was a trained soldier of the mafia.

My cell phone rings and I look at the caller ID to see my mother’s name. “Hello?” I already dread picking it up.

“Arabella, my goodness, are you alright? Are you okay? I had a bad feeling about the bodyguard of yours!”

“Mama, I’m okay. Carmelo isn’t a bad man. He is a good bodyguard and-”

“I don’t know what’s going on. I’m scared for you, Bella. Men are trying to kill you and your own bodyguard took advantage of you! Your two husbands have died. It’s like you are cursed!”

“Mama,” I grumble. “Stop. Carmelo didn’t take advantage of me and there are men trying to kill Liliana too, and Rocco and Antonio. This is our life, we have enemies and people are always after us. People die, especially ones in power like Luca. I’m not cursed.” It sure feels like I’m cursed now that Leonardo is with me.

“I want you to come back home. I miss you and I want to make sure my baby is safe. I called all your siblings too.”

“Why would you call them?”

“They have a right to know their sister is in danger and going through a tough time.”

“No they don’t. They don’t even live in Chicago, there’s nothing they can do.”

“Well…”

“Well what? Mama, don’t tell me you made them all get on a plane and come here!”

“No! Nothing like that. You know your siblings are busy.”

Busy being successful so she’s told me too many times to count. “Then what did you do?”

“It’s Lazzaro. He said he wants to you in Italy with him.”

“Why?”

“I’ll let him tell you why when you get to Palermo.”

“What?” I jerk my head back in shock. I pull back the phone to stare at the screen. “I’m not going to Italy. I’m staying in Chicago. This is my home! Viola is here!”

My mother doesn’t say anything back and all I can hear is whispering.

“You will do as your told!” My father is now growling over the phone. “Maybe Italy will do you some good. Your brother will be watching over you.”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

“When am I going?” I sigh with defeat. Maybe leaving means Leonardo won’t follow me. There’s no need for a bodyguard when Lazzaro is there and there’s no threat from Marco’s men in Italy.

“Next week. Pack and be ready, I’ll have a car pick you up in the morning to take you to the airport.” The line clicks as he’s hung up the phone.

Maybe Italy won’t be a permanent situation. It’s a vacation until things calm down here. God knows my life these past few months have been more than hectic. It’ll be good to see Lazzaro. I haven’t seen him in a long time and I’ve missed my brother, as well as all my other siblings, dearly.