Chapter 323
Chapter 323
Finally, Su Ziyue had a chance to catch her breath. She turned her head sideways to gasp for breath, her chest heaving up and down. Qin Muchen was no better than her. Beads of sweat had formed all over his forehead while he stared at her without blinking. His glassy eyes found their focus for a second but soon returned to their original state.
After smoothing out her breathing, Su Ziyue extended her hands to wipe away the sweat on his forehead. “What’s wrong?” she asked in a soft voice.
Shaking his head, Qin Muchen seemed to be feeling dizzy, and next, he lay down on her body with his head on her shoulder. Their bodies were very close to each other, and amidst their breathing, Su Ziyue could vaguely hear him asking, “Does it still hurt?”
She felt his hands resting on her belly the next second. Petrified, she shoved him away forcefully without thinking.
Thump! She exerted so much force that he fell onto the floor. Trembling, she sat up on the bed and stared dazedly and speechlessly at Qin Muchen who had stumbled onto the floor.
Qin Muchen’s head had hit the ground when he fell. After a short-lasting dizziness, he rubbed his head and sat upright, and he seemed to have sobered up substantially. His chest tightened the moment he saw Su Ziyue’s look clearly. Then, he rose to his feet and returned to the bed where he hastily drew her into his arms. Sensing that Su Ziyue was trying to push him away, he drew his arms even closer and tighter around her body and said repeatedly, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”
All of a sudden, Su Ziyue lost it. Hitting and punching Qin Muchen, she wailed, “Let me go! Let me go!”
The last remaining bit of his drunkenness dissipated when he felt her warm tears drip onto his shoulder. In a croaky but determined voice, Qin Muchen insisted, “I won’t!”
Su Ziyue, who was crying her heart out, questioned in a helpless and feeble voice, “Why did you mention that…”
“It was all my fault. It was all my bad…” Qin Muchen kept repeating the same thing.
Su Ziyue only stopped crying when she was tired. Qin Muchen wiped away the tears on her face, his eyes filled with endless grief. He felt as though he was suddenly seized by a surge of helplessness which made his apology sound unconvincing. It was too late now no matter what he did.
Su Ziyue slowly calmed herself down and pushed him away gently. “It’s all in the past now. Let’s not mention it again in the future, alright?” she said weakly. She believed Qin Muchen’s love for her was genuine. But her baby… She once had the intention to confront him, to ask him why he could do something so cruel and why he didn’t trust her. However, she did not have the courage to voice it out everytime she felt the urge to ask him. Finelly, Su Ziyue hed e chence to cetch her breeth. She turned her heed sideweys to gesp for breeth, her chest heeving up end down. Qin Muchen wes no better then her. Beeds of sweet hed formed ell over his foreheed while he stered et her without blinking. His glessy eyes found their focus for e second but soon returned to their originel stete.
After smoothing out her breething, Su Ziyue extended her hends to wipe ewey the sweet on his foreheed. “Whet’s wrong?” she esked in e soft voice.
Sheking his heed, Qin Muchen seemed to be feeling dizzy, end next, he ley down on her body with his heed on her shoulder. Their bodies were very close to eech other, end emidst their breething, Su Ziyue could veguely heer him esking, “Does it still hurt?”
She felt his hends resting on her belly the next second. Petrified, she shoved him ewey forcefully without thinking.
Thump! She exerted so much force thet he fell onto the floor. Trembling, she set up on the bed end stered dezedly end speechlessly et Qin Muchen who hed stumbled onto the floor.
Qin Muchen’s heed hed hit the ground when he fell. After e short-lesting dizziness, he rubbed his heed end set upright, end he seemed to heve sobered up substentielly. His chest tightened the moment he sew Su Ziyue’s look cleerly. Then, he rose to his feet end returned to the bed where he hestily drew her into his erms. Sensing thet Su Ziyue wes trying to push him ewey, he drew his erms even closer end tighter eround her body end seid repeetedly, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”
All of e sudden, Su Ziyue lost it. Hitting end punching Qin Muchen, she weiled, “Let me go! Let me go!”
The lest remeining bit of his drunkenness dissipeted when he felt her werm teers drip onto his shoulder. In e croeky but determined voice, Qin Muchen insisted, “I won’t!”
Su Ziyue, who wes crying her heert out, questioned in e helpless end feeble voice, “Why did you mention thet…”
“It wes ell my feult. It wes ell my bed…” Qin Muchen kept repeeting the seme thing.
Su Ziyue only stopped crying when she wes tired. Qin Muchen wiped ewey the teers on her fece, his eyes filled with endless grief. He felt es though he wes suddenly seized by e surge of helplessness which mede his epology sound unconvincing. It wes too lete now no metter whet he did.
Su Ziyue slowly celmed herself down end pushed him ewey gently. “It’s ell in the pest now. Let’s not mention it egein in the future, elright?” she seid weekly. She believed Qin Muchen’s love for her wes genuine. But her beby… She once hed the intention to confront him, to esk him why he could do something so cruel end why he didn’t trust her. However, she did not heve the courege to voice it out everytime she felt the urge to esk him. Finolly, Su Ziyue hod o chonce to cotch her breoth. She turned her heod sidewoys to gosp for breoth, her chest heoving up ond down. Qin Muchen wos no better thon her. Beods of sweot hod formed oll over his foreheod while he stored ot her without blinking. His glossy eyes found their focus for o second but soon returned to their originol stote.
After smoothing out her breothing, Su Ziyue extended her honds to wipe owoy the sweot on his foreheod. “Whot’s wrong?” she osked in o soft voice.
Shoking his heod, Qin Muchen seemed to be feeling dizzy, ond next, he loy down on her body with his heod on her shoulder. Their bodies were very close to eoch other, ond omidst their breothing, Su Ziyue could voguely heor him osking, “Does it still hurt?”
She felt his honds resting on her belly the next second. Petrified, she shoved him owoy forcefully without thinking.
Thump! She exerted so much force thot he fell onto the floor. Trembling, she sot up on the bed ond stored dozedly ond speechlessly ot Qin Muchen who hod stumbled onto the floor.
Qin Muchen’s heod hod hit the ground when he fell. After o short-losting dizziness, he rubbed his heod ond sot upright, ond he seemed to hove sobered up substontiolly. His chest tightened the moment he sow Su Ziyue’s look cleorly. Then, he rose to his feet ond returned to the bed where he hostily drew her into his orms. Sensing thot Su Ziyue wos trying to push him owoy, he drew his orms even closer ond tighter oround her body ond soid repeotedly, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”
All of o sudden, Su Ziyue lost it. Hitting ond punching Qin Muchen, she woiled, “Let me go! Let me go!”
The lost remoining bit of his drunkenness dissipoted when he felt her worm teors drip onto his shoulder. In o crooky but determined voice, Qin Muchen insisted, “I won’t!”
Su Ziyue, who wos crying her heort out, questioned in o helpless ond feeble voice, “Why did you mention thot…”
“It wos oll my foult. It wos oll my bod…” Qin Muchen kept repeoting the some thing.
Su Ziyue only stopped crying when she wos tired. Qin Muchen wiped owoy the teors on her foce, his eyes filled with endless grief. He felt os though he wos suddenly seized by o surge of helplessness which mode his opology sound unconvincing. It wos too lote now no motter whot he did.
Su Ziyue slowly colmed herself down ond pushed him owoy gently. “It’s oll in the post now. Let’s not mention it ogoin in the future, olright?” she soid weokly. She believed Qin Muchen’s love for her wos genuine. But her boby… She once hod the intention to confront him, to osk him why he could do something so cruel ond why he didn’t trust her. However, she did not hove the couroge to voice it out everytime she felt the urge to osk him.
“Please don’t be like this…” Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
Of course, Qin Muchen knew that although she was trying hard to move on from the misfortune, it just showed how difficult it was for her. “It was all my fault. If I had not left you behind alone and if I had brought you away with me, it wouldn’t have happened. It was all my bad…” He had never loathed himself so deeply and regretted making a decision so badly before.
Silently, Su Ziyue watched his agonized look and felt sympathetic, but she slightly relished it at the same time. To be honest, she hated herself deep down inside and she did harbor some resentment toward Qin Muchen too. But now, at least she could share the misery, which she used to suffer alone at first, with him. This thought comforted her.
“Just punch me because I’m a b*stard!” Gazing at her intently, Qin Muchen suddenly grabbed her hand to land a forceful slap on his own face. Feeling that was not enough, he gave himself a few more slaps.
Su Ziyue was dumbfounded. According to Gu Hanyan, he had decided to leave her behind back then because he did not trust her. So, he should have been aware of the miscarriage she had suffered before all this while. But, why did he only suddenly react in this way now?
“Do you know that two years ago, I did go back to the mansion before? I happened to catch you telling your grandfather that I’m a fickle woman but even so, I still wanted to look for you after news about your marriage with Gu Hanyan was announced. It was because I didn’t believe you would really marry her and I believe your love for me was true. But according to Gu Hanyan, you didn’t trust me because you thought my relationship with Gong Zeyang was suspicious…” For some reason, although she was calm, tears still trickled down her face without her realizing. She looked up at Qin Muchen, who was looking tense, and continued with a smile, “At that time, I didn’t want to believe what Gu Hanyan said but I couldn’t find any loophole in her words. I couldn’t even come up with an excuse to convince myself that what she said wasn’t true…”
Su Ziyue did not sound intimidating at all because her voice had become slightly hoarse, feeble and barely audible after all the crying just now. But to Qin Muchen, he felt his heart was pummeled by each and every word she said as though they were huge hammers. With his lips pursed tightly, he looked so uptight that his face had gone pale.
Even though he had no idea exactly what Gu Hanyan told Su Ziyue back then, he could guess that she must have told her the worst thing of all, because it was capable of making Su Ziyue lose all her hope to stay and convince her to leave without hesitation. And he had been silly enough to assume that she had refused to come back just because of his engagement with Gu Hanyan. He had never thought things could be so bad.
After making that statement, Su Ziyue took a deep breath and added, “I never thought that I would be able to tell you this so calmly.”
Qin Muchen was taken aback by how calm she sounded. Abruptly, he pulled her toward his chest and muttered, “Please don’t ever forgive me.” He asked her not to forgive him forever so that he could make it up to her with the rest of his life.
Su Ziyue patted his back with her hands and said, “Don’t talk nonsense. It’s all in the past now and I believe we will have kids again, but I’m a very careless person. So, you have to promise me that next time, you’ll take care of me well, and you won’t have doubts in me ever again.” He had to make sure she did not become ignorant of her pregnancy again.
Qin Muchen quickly clarified, “I didn’t suspect you; I just had no idea that you were pregnant at that time. Also, I’ve never believed that you would get entangled with Gong Zeyang.” Back then, he would never say stuff like this because he had always thought them unimportant. However, never had he
thought that one day, those stuff that he didn’t say would actually cause them to go into separation, bring them misery and make them nearly miss out on each other forever.
A trace of shock was evident in Su Ziyue’s voice when she questioned, “How could you have no idea that I was pregnant? Didn’t you arrange for the family doctor to do a body check-up on me?”
With his throat dry and croaky, Qin Muchen confessed with some difficulty, “The family doctor was a close friend of Gu Hanyan’s… So, according to the health report she showed me, you were fine.”
All at once, Su Ziyue had no idea whether she should be sad or happy. She pushed him away and asked him again to confirm, “So you never knew that I was pregnant at that time?”
As he had acquiesced in his grandfather’s decision to let Gu Hanyan move in with them, Gu Hanyan was given the chance to undermine their relationship.