shuhaige
Chapter 23
Chapter 23
“What the fuck was that about? We agreed….”
“We agreed nothing,” he snaps. “I said to Beth that you wouldn’t punish her. But I did. It was deserved
and appropriate. She understood what it was about, and she accepted it.” His colour is high, lips
pressed white, but his eyes slide away from mine.
“That doesn’t mean it was a good idea. If it was going to be done, we should have decided it between
us, and it should have come from me. I'm her Dom. If it was going to be done, then it was my place to
do it.”
“What difference does it make? It had to come from someone, and I didn’t want her mixing it up in her
head with your bedroom games.”
“Michael, believe me, if I set out to punish her, there would be no misunderstanding over what it was
about. I would have delivered whatever was appropriate and you would have been there, so she knew
it was both of us. I’m almost certain that’s what she was expecting. And it’s what she was ready to
accept. Instead, you’ve simply hurt her.”
He tosses his head. “So? It hurt her? A punishment is meant to hurt.”
There is no give in his expression. I’m not getting through to him. Frustrated by his blindness, I
continue. “I'd say you've done a lot of damage. She didn't expect this from you. It’s not your role in her
life.”
Michael’s eyes widen and for the first time, some of his naked aggression falters. “You think I frightened
her?”
I jab a finger at his chest. “You can't frighten Charlotte with pain. That's not the issue.”
“No? What is the issue then?”
“What would you have done if she’d safe-worded?”
He falls still. “I…. I…. don't know.”
“There you go, then. You've broken every rule in the book. She believes she didn't have the option, and
you've more or less just admitted it.”
His arms are still folded, but now his hands run up and down between elbow and shoulder. His
shoulders are hunched.
I continue. “Michael, it's not like you to get something of this sort so badly wrong. But I really believe
you've damaged yourself in her eyes.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, I think so. You punished her inappropriately and, while I hesitate to use the word, you damn near
raped her and you refused to listen when she was trying to tell you to use protection.”
He squeezes his eyes closed, rubbing at his forehead. “Christ…. How do I put this right?”
“Right now, Michael, I’m damned if I know.”
*****
Michael and Charlotte barely speak, skirting around, barely even acknowledging each other. At times I
see him try to talk to her. A few words. Some attempt to connect. She nods and is polite, then her eyes
slide away.
“I’m going for something to eat,” he says. “Want anything bringing back?”
“No, I’m fine. I’ll eat later.”
We both know it’s an excuse for him to get out of the apartment.
Her eyes follow him as he leaves, but she doesn’t comment.
Her gaze shifts to mine, but still she says nothing before standing to stare out of the window, hugging
herself.
“Charlotte, talk to me. This can’t go on.”
She pins me with those great, green eyes. “Master, what if I’m pregnant?”
Is that what’s really worrying her?
I move to stand beside her, but I don’t try to touch. “If you were, would it be such an awful thing for you,
to carry Michael’s baby?” She fiddles with trailing snakes of red hair. “You must have known it was a
possibility. I know you have always been very careful, but you can’t avoid some risk. And it would have
been fifty-fifty whether myself or Michael was the father.”
Long strands of red wind and unwind around a finger. “Yes, Master. Of course I realised. But I don't
want it to have happened like this. He was punishing me….” Her voice cracks. “He was so angry. He
wanted to hurt me. I didn't think he had that in him.…” The tears in her words bite at me.
How the fuck do I handle this?
Give her control….
“Charlotte, listen. If you are so worried about the possibility, we’ll get you tested and you can decide
from there what you want to do.”
The lock of hair endlessly coils and uncoils as she stares out of the window.
Taking her by the shoulders, I turn her to face me. “Charlotte, please talk to me. Do you not want
children at all? Does the idea upset you so much?”
And now her eyes, red-rimmed, rise to mine. “Not like this, Master….”
He punished her….
Took away her choices….
Was it rape?
Or at least, does she see it that way?
I’m about to break in, to interrupt her, but she continues….
“…. and, I don’t think I’d be a very good mother.”
The words jolt through me.
Where has this come from?
I speak carefully. “Why do you say that, Charlotte? I’ve seen nothing about you that suggests you
would be anything except a wonderful mother.”
“He said I look like her. So, I take after her. Why did she abandon me in that place? Why would any
mother leave her baby in a place like that?”
Why indeed?
Ah, fuck….
Fuck!
Fuck!
“Well, in the first place, Klempner could well have been lying. If, as you say, he has something against
you, or your mother, he has no good reason to tell the truth….”
“But what if he was? That I’m just some whore’s by-blow? She had me and I was…. in the way…. and
she abandoned me. Didn’t care what happened to me….”
Could it be true?
Perhaps….
…. Deal with this….
“Charlotte, even if all that is true, and frankly, I very much doubt it… But if every word were true, you
are not your mother. You may look like her, but you look like Beth as well, and the two of you couldn’t
be more different in personality.”
She blinks and a little of the tension in her shoulders ebbs. I pursue my point. “Charlotte, I can’t deny
that I bought you in the first place because I saw a beautiful young girl staring out at me from an
advertisement and I wanted you. It was that simple. But since then, I have come to know you, and I
have seen the lengths to which you will go to achieve what you want, to meet what you see as your
duties and obligations. I have absolutely no doubt that any child of yours would be protected, nurtured
and loved in every way that matters.”
She’s not looking at me yet, but I have her attention. I continue. “It’s a bit of a cliché, but there is the old
saying that ‘That which does not kill us makes us stronger’. And off-hand, I’d say you are the best living
proof of that I have ever seen. I believe that when the day comes that you choose to have children, the
appalling upbringing you had will work for them and for you, because you remember what it was to be
treated like that.”Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
I take her chin in my fingers, tilt it up, forcing her to face me now. “Whatever your feelings about this
specific occasion, don’t let your memories of the past ruin one of the greatest joys there is to be had in
life.”
Try to lighten the mood….
Make her laugh….
I squeeze out a chuckle. “I’ll admit, the image of you as a mother leaves me thinking more of the
lioness with her cubs, than lambs and puppies, but I think any child of yours will be in very safe hands
indeed.”
She manages a small smile at that, struggling a little because her face is pinned between my fingers,
and I relax my grip to let her speak.
“You…. you wouldn’t be angry? If I were pregnant by Michael?”
I kiss her softly, on the cheek. “No, I wouldn’t. I’d be very happy for you, so long as I believed that you
were happy about it.”
Her eyes are bright and fluid, but not now I think, with pain, simply intensity of emotion.
“Charlotte, Michael and I have talked about this. There was always a risk that one of us might get you
with child. If or when the time comes that you want children, we’ll arrange it between ourselves.
Michael would legally be the father because he is going to be, legally speaking, your husband. As to
what the actuality is, who knows?”
“It wouldn’t matter to you that Michael might be the father?”
“Charlotte, when it comes to it…. If it is what you want…. Any child you bear will have two fathers, but
for the sake of the outside world, Michael’s name would be on the birth certificate. Do you understand
me?”
Her face falls again. “He punished me, Master. And he wouldn’t listen when….”
“I’ll talk to him. I know you’re angry with each other, but it will sort itself out. He loves you. If he didn’t
love you, your disappearance wouldn’t have been so hard on him.”
Her eyes harden. “I expected to be punished, but not like that.”
“I know.” I kiss her again. “Listen, when are you next, um… due?”
“In just a couple of days, Master.”
“Good. So you won’t have to wait too long to find out if you’re worrying needlessly. And if by any
chance you are late, I’ll get a doctor in for you and we’ll get you tested properly. Deal?”
She nods miserably. “Yes Master, deal.”
Michael, what the fuck did you think you were doing?
This isn’t over….
*****