Think Outside the Boss 66
Breathe out.
Two bungee-jump operators unstrap Tristan’s own harness with quick hands and I grip the railing tight. “And you’re sure you enjoyed it?”
His grin is wide beneath his wind-tousled hair, handsome streaks of gray at his temples. “A rush like no other,” he assures me.
Joshua gives me a nearly identical smile. “It was amazing, Freddie. You won’t regret it.”
I peer over the edge of the bridge to the five hundred feet drop. It had been hard enough to watch my husband and stepson jump, both of them screaming at the top of their lungs. “You were so brave,” I say. “Both of you.”
Joshua runs a hand through his curls and smiles down at me. Down, because he’s now taller than me, and I still haven’t gotten used to it. “It wasn’t as scary as I expected. Not when I’d actually jumped.”
At fifteen, he’s not yet at the age where we are terribly embarrassing to be around… but it’s getting closer. Every trip we still go on where he’s enthusiastic and invested is one to treasure. Tristan slings an arm around his son’s shoulders. A few years more and they’ll be the same height.
“Your mom would have been so proud of you,” he tells Joshua. “Or angry at me, for letting you jump.”
“Perhaps both?”
“Very likely,” he agrees, tugging Joshua closer. “At any rate, I’m proud of you, kid.”
Joshua laughs. “I’m proud of you too, Dad. Thought you’d chicken out at the last minute.”
“Who, me?”
“I’d never,” Tristan says grandly, but we’re all grinning. The adrenaline of the day has pushed us all to the edge in more ways than one, here on the bridge to honor Jenny and to overcome fears.
Tristan gives Joshua’s shoulders a final squeeze. “Do you want to go wait by Grandma and Julie?”
He nods, shooting me one last smile. “You can do it.”
“Thanks, honey.”
Tristan and I watch him walk the twenty feet or so back to where Maud is standing, our two-year-old safe and snug in her arms. Julie watches us with the rapt attention only an awed toddler possesses. We both give her a little wave, and she waves back, dark hair whipping in the wind, just like mine.
Mommy jumping too? she’d asked earlier. It had been easy then to give her a confident affirmative.
Tristan turns me away from our family, his hands steadying weights on my shoulders. “Frederica,” he murmurs.
“Tristan,” I murmur back.
“You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I know, but I want to.”
He doesn’t raise a questioning eyebrow, doesn’t comment. Just steadies me with the familiar gaze that promises truth, and kindness, and loyalty. “You don’t struggle with elevators anymore. You can sit on a balcony without feeling anxious, and we even zip-lined in Costa Rica. I’d say you’ve already conquered this fear.”
I shake my head. “This is the final step.”
“All right. But if you’re wondering… you’re already the bravest person I know. By far, Freddie. You took that spot squarely when I watched you give birth to Jules. There’s nothing left to prove, sweetheart. And no one will think less of you if you unsnap this harness.”
“You’re supposed to talk me into this, not out of it.”
His grin flashes. “All right. I’m sorry.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “It’ll be over so fast.”
“Real fast,” he says. “In the blink of an eye, really.”
“And after that I’ll always be the person who bungee-jumped. I can say that for the rest of my life.”
“You sure can.”
Behind my closed eyes, I conjure the picture that hung in Tristan’s apartment. It hangs in our new home now on the ever-expanding gallery wall. Jenny strapped into a harness, smiling into the camera, standing on this very bridge. I’m doing this jump for me. For me, for my husband, for my children, and for my son’s parents, who I never had a chance to get to know.
“It’s one hundred percent safe,” Tristan says. “You know I wouldn’t have let Joshua or you jump here if it wasn’t.”
Yes, I do know that. He’d done extensive research before we came here, and we’ve rented the bridge and the bungee-jumping company for the full day. Everything has been quadruple-checked.
“You won’t be strait-laced anymore if you do this.”
“Give me another reason?”
His smile turns crooked. “Well, this might be your last shot at doing something like this for a while, sweetheart.”
“That’s right.” I nod. “I want to start trying again right after this.”
“We will,” he vows. Both of us want to give Julie and Joshua another sibling, and once we start, this will be off-limits. If there’s one thing pregnant women shouldn’t do, it’s bungee jump.
“Okay,” I tell him.
“I’m ready. I’m doing this.”
He tips my head back and presses a confident, determined kiss to my lips. “You can do absolutely anything, Freddie.”
He steps back and motions for the professionals. Ben and Allan hustle into action immediately. Strap me in, tightening carabiners and pulling ropes taut. Tristan is the last to tug at my checks and balances.
“It’ll be over so fast,” he says.
“Conquering my fear,” I murmur.
We give each other a single nod of determination, because we’re in this together, even if it’s my turn to jump now. Since we got married, it’s been the two of us, a team tackling life. Work. Joshua. Pregnancy. Birth. Julie. At every step of the way it’s been us, and despite the lack of sleep and the stress of becoming a stepmother, we love each other more now than we ever did that first year. With the right person, love only gets deeper with time.
So it’s with confidence that I walk toward the edge of the bridge, knowing he’s got my back. The tips of my toes extend past the edge of the bridge. The Rio Grande beckons like a ribbon of light blue at the bottom, further than I’ll reach.
“Whenever you’re ready!” Allan calls.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
I think of Joshua and Tristan, brave enough to let me into their life. Of Maud, who lost a daughter but fought her way back to a new, sunny outlook on the world.
I think of my grandfather, the hardest-working man I know, who took risks I couldn’t imagine. What’s jumping off a bridge compared to leaving your homeland behind?
And I think of me, daring to take that first step with Tristan all those years ago, the two of us strangers in a crowded room. What’s a fear of heights compared to the fear of the unknown? And I’ve already conquered that with my family by my side. As scary as jumping might be, they’ll be right up here when I return.
My hand slides from the railing as I let go, stepping out into the unknown, a smile on my lips.
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