Once, my paranoid love

“I’d do it if I had the chance,” I retorted, my tone laced with bitterness.

Derek seemed unfazed, pointing out, “With an empty gun?”

“Tell me why you didn’t kill me that night,” Derek demanded, probing for answers.

“You are my opponent. What would I accomplish at my first therapy session if I killed you?”

“Elena wants me to be a nice guy. She wants me to treat my paranoia disorder. That’s what I was up to,” I explained, maintaining a composed demeanor despite the intensity of Derek’s presence.

“And also, if I killed you at that time, do you think Elena would cry for me? How could I miss the chance to be a good man to her if I killed you,” I explained with a smirk.

If I had killed Derek that fateful night, I would have become the villain in Elena’s story, losing any chance of winning her heart.

Derek, however, wasn’t swayed. “You know what, I want to kill you right now,” he declared, closing the distance between us.

“Kill me then,” I responded, a smirk playing on my lips, “Since I already knew everything I wanted to know.”

“Also if you kill me now Elena will never forgive me.”

Derek’s frustration boiled over, and he pushed me, seething with anger.

“This is your final chance to see her. Do you understand what I mean?” he warned.

With a calm demeanor, I retorted, “You should have killed me before.”

Derek reminded me of his previous attempt, stating, “I did, didn’t I? However, you were lucky to be saved.”

I couldn’t help but probe further, questioning Derek’s motives.

“But why did you try so hard to find me?” I asked, searching for the answers that had eluded me for so long.

Derek’s words cut through the air, a mixture of resentment and determination evident in his tone.

“I’m not a loser like you are,” he asserted, his gaze averted.

His bitterness amused me, and I chuckled.

“I did all I could to get away from you, but you caught me. I expected to see them from afar, but I never expected them to be so close to me,” I admitted, acknowledging the irony of our intertwined destinies.

Derek’s resolve, however, remained unshaken.

“I know Elena loves you, which is why I made one last attempt to find you. But it makes no difference to me whether she loves me or not. I want her by my side at all costs,” he declared, emphasizing the depth of his determination.

His possessiveness over Elena became evident as he continued, “If she was in this terrible condition, I would never allow her to meet you.”

His concern for Elena, though misguided, was apparent.

With a smile, I replied, “I understand, and don’t worry, Derek; I think she will be okay. Now get going; she’ll be waiting for you. Also, don’t forget about our deal. I want them every single day.”

The negotiation echoed the complexities of our relationship.

But Derek, with a surprising twist, clarified, “Not them, just Paulina.” The unexpected request left me silent, contemplating the implications of his words.

Derek left the room, leaving me to mull over the intricacies of our agreement.

The weight of the truth bore down on me, and I realized the delicate balance I had to maintain. Revealing the truth to Elena meant risking her emotional stability, and I couldn’t bear to witness her world shattering once more. The choice to keep my identity hidden was solely for her well-being.

I didn’t find satisfaction in the idea of seeing her as a broken angel. Her tears held no allure for me. Instead, I longed to be the reason for her smiles, to witness her happiness. I made a silent promise to myself: I would strive to be a better person in the future, for her sake.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, contemplating the sacrifices and choices ahead. When I opened my eyes, I noticed that they had left.

“Sir, are you going as well?” Han inquired, breaking the silence that enveloped the room.

However, I chose to remain silent, my thoughts swirling with the complexities of the path I had chosen.

Elena was engrossed in a lively conversation with Paulina, their laughter filling the air. Observing them, I felt an overwhelming desire to embrace both of them. With a gentle motion, I reached out to hold Elena in my arms.

“Honey,” I called to her.

“Yes,” she responded with a radiant smile.

“Are you happy?” I inquired.

Her eyes sparkled as she replied, “Yes, Derek, I’m overjoyed.”

“If you’re pleased, I’m glad as well,” I expressed, my heart warmed by her happiness.

However, she brought up a concern, “But, Derek, we did not consult the doctor.”

I chuckled and reassured her, “We don’t need to consult. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Leaning in, I planted a soft kiss on her cheek. In her arms, Paulina was slowly drifting into slumber.

“Derek,” Elena said a soft gratitude in her voice.

“Thank you for everything,” she expressed her gratitude.

“Thank you? What exactly did I do to get it?” I inquired, genuinely curious.

“You did a lot for me, Derek,” she replied, her eyes reflecting sincerity.

She smiled, lowering her head, and I gently lifted her chin to meet my gaze.

“Hey,” I said, “It is not necessary for you to express gratitude to me. You do not need to say anything since I am aware of the facts.”

“I’m so selfish, right Derek?” she questioned.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Are you?” I asked, pondering her self-reflection.

Elena, are you truly selfish? No, I don’t believe so. I think I am the one who is self-centered. Despite knowing everything, I insisted on keeping you with me. I have nothing to do since I really need you.

“I knew the truth when you first kissed me. You wanted to show him how much you care for me, didn’t you?” I observed, recognizing the depth of her feelings.

A flashback unraveled, transporting us to a moment of tension.

“And you,” Paul remarked, eyeing Derek, “Elena only loves me.”

“Did she give you a kiss? She, on the other hand, always kisses….” But Elena intervened, yelling, “Shut up, Paul!”

In defiance, she wrapped her hands around Derek’s neck and kissed him passionately in front of everyone.

As the flashback dissipated, I found myself in the present, head lowered.

“I knew you loved him from the beginning,” Derek remarked, his words laden with understanding.

“I’m sorry, Derek,” I replied, my expression marked by sadness.

“But believe me, I don’t want to hurt you,” I added, attempting to convey the sincerity of my feelings.

Derek compelled me to meet his gaze directly.

“But, Elena, I’m selfish. Please don’t ask me why. I’m not going to tell you anything because I’m afraid I won’t be able to,” Derek responded, revealing a vulnerability he rarely exposed.

“I know you love him, but you also love me. Maybe you won’t be able to forget him since he was your first love. I don’t want you to love me the way you love him,” Derek confessed.

“I don’t give a damn about anything. It’s fine if you love me less. However, all I want to do is stay with you,” Derek declared, emphasizing the importance of their connection.

I nodded and began to speak, “Yes, indeed. But I’m s-”

Derek interrupted me, “Honey, you know what you can’t measure: love. Everyone has a love for something. But, possibly, someone has more. They can’t love them equally, though. But, they love them.”

“The most important thing to me is that you love me. I don’t need to know how much you love me, though,” he continued, a warm smile on his face.

I nodded in understanding and smiled gratefully. Closing my eyes, I softly expressed, “thank you.”

In a spontaneous yet passionate gesture, Derek’s lips met mine, sealing the moment with a kiss that conveyed more than words ever could.

**

After four years, Paulina’s 7th birthday arrived, marking the passage of time. She now stood at the tender age of seven, her innocent curiosity evident in her every word and action.

“Happy birthday, honey. Come on, get up!” I exclaimed, urging her to embrace the day’s festivities. Paulina responded with a sweet, “mom,” expressing her endearing term for me.

Inquisitive as ever, she immediately inquired, “Where is my cake?” A mischievous smile adorned her face, anticipating the delightful surprise that awaited her.

“It’s a surprise, honey,” I chuckled, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“But that’s my cake, and nothing will happen if I see it first. Please show me,” she pleaded.

With a playful shake of my head, I maintained the secrecy of her birthday surprise. Suddenly, the room welcomed Derek and Aaron, completing the family circle. Aaron, our three-year-old son, accompanied Derek into the room, his young eyes wide with curiosity.

“Aaron is here,” Paulina announced, joyfully acknowledging the presence of her little brother. Aaron responded with a charming smile.