Rachel

Rachel

What’s the best way to forgo everyone and everything that hurts you, for me it is to get drunk.

I don’t normally like to drink alcohol because it makes me lose my mind, and I don’t like the fact that something has this kinda affect. If anything I like the most is being sober. So I don’t make any rash decisions that I might regret in the future.

But today it’s different, for just one day I want to be free, not caring about anything else in life. I don’t know what the morning brings for me but I wanna enjoy being out of control for once.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” I sensed a hand on my shoulder as the glass was taken away from my hand.

I groaned loudly, trying to grab the glass back, “Give it back, you’re no one but my boss, why do you care.”

He stood right in front of me, shooting deadly glares at me, as he placed both his arms around my waist, lifting me from the stool that I was sitting on.

I slapped his face trying to free myself from his grasp but he didn’t even flinch a bit and carried me out of the bar and into his car.

“Fight all you want, but you’re allowed to drink more.”

“Let me go, or I’ll shout,” I said, trying to open the door, but it was locked.

“Sit quietly, I’m taking you home.” he replied, as he buckled my seatbelt.

Our gaze met as his finger touched the bare skin of my hip, “Why?”

“Because you’re my employee,” he said, separating himself from me.

“I’m resigning,” I turned my gaze away from him, turning my head to the window.

“You’re not allowed to,”

“I’m not allowed to resign and you’re allowed to cheat on me,” Shit what did I say, the alcohol is making me lose my mind.

He parked the car on the side of the road, turning his head to me. “We’re not in a relationship,”

“But we do have something,”

“We do, but that doesn’t mean we’re committed to each other,”

“Yeah, we just fuck buddies,” I said removing my seatbelt.

“Don’t…,” Jayce said, holding my wrist. “You ever say that word; you don’t know how precious you’re to me.”

“How precious,” I replied, filling every mere inch in between our bodies, staring right into his eyes.

“Rachel..,” He said, letting go of my wrist, moving away from me.

I took the car key and threw it somewhere in the backseat.

“What do you think you did to throw the key?” His voice seems calm but the annoyance in his face says otherwise.

“You can’t leave, until you answer,”

“Rachel,”

“What, you’re angry now, or you’re so desperate to be with her like last time,”

Jayce put both his hand on my shoulder, shaking my body lightly, “Don’t act like you care,”

I sighed, as I was finally coming to my senses, “You’re right,” I said, holding the keys that I acted to throw away, unlocking the door, and left before he could stop me.

Without caring to glance back at Jayce I moved forward. I blame the alcohol for making me act so stupid, I should have known that this arrangement was nothing but bad idea. All my life I fought to escape the same fate as my mother, but in the end I’m not different from her. I allowed my emotions to rule over my mind and look, what happened.

“I hate myself, I hate myself for falling in love, I hate letting my emotions rule my mind, I hate….,” I mumbled walking away from Jayce but lost my balance, getting ready to fall on my ass.

But the fall never came. What came was a gentle landing on a firm set of arms, with a very familiar pair of eyes staring at me, with his around my waist, leaning over my face as a pair of soft tender lips kissed me.

The kiss came as a surprise at first, but I leaned into his touch yet again, allowing my emotions to rule over my mind, wrapping my arms around his neck and deepening the kiss. The kiss lasted long, with no one of us wanting to stop but at last our lips separated from each other’s grasp, but the hand holding me remained the same.

My hands subconsciously his cheeks, the little stubble on it tickles as I gently smooth my hand on his cheeks. “I hate you,” I said, even though my actions don’t justify my words.

“I know it’s a lie,” He said, carrying me to the car.

“Where are you taking me?” I said, borrowing my head in his chest, with my senses enjoying the warmth and fragrance of his body so close to mine.

“Home, you’re too drunk to be left alone,” He said, easily unlocking the door even with me in his arms. “We’ll clear all misunderstandings in the morning, when you’re sober.” He buckled my seatbelt. Placing a gentle peck on my lips, before closing the door.

******

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There hasn’t been a time that I’ve ever been attached to a woman other than my mother and sister. My thoughts about relationships are very clear; I don’t want commitment and complication in my life. But today, after seeing Rachel all sad, drinking alone in a bar made me angry. I always wanted to protect her even though she was an employee. But, when she is all drunk, vulnerable. alone like this, this doesn’t seem to be possible.

It doesn’t change the fact that I hate to commit. But I don’t know what happens to me when I’m with Rachel. I can’t see her with anyone but me, and that’s one of reasons why I crossed my limits and did something I should have never done.

I slept with her and looked at what happened at last. I should’ve known that Rachel is not the come and go type of girl; she wants commitment even if she never accepts the fact herself.

I sighed, turning to look at the drunken beauty sleeping beside me in the car.

I don’t know how much she’ll remember about anything that happened tonight, but what I know is that if Rachel wants commitment then I’m allowing myself to let all my fears fade and see where this relationship takes both of us.

I’m a selfish guy and I can’t see my girl with anyone but myself.

I chuckle and turn my head, hearing Rachel mumble in her sleep. “I hate you,”

Life is never sad and boring when I’m beside her, she fills color in my black and white world.

“I know you don’t,” I mumbled close to her ear, removing a few strands of her hair away from face. Carrying her in my arms, and inside my house.

Tomorrow when she wakes up, I want to start a new chapter with her in my life. But tonight I want her to sleep in my arms with her head close to my heart.

“Tomorrow, I’ll tell you how special you are to me,” I said gently, pecking her lip, embracing her petite frame close to my warmth.