Romeo The Mafia Casanova

Eden’s [POV]

Then: One year later the last year was a rollercoaster of emotions, to say the least. Twelve months had come and gone since the evening Tristian held a gun over my heart, and since then, he’d changed again. Although his moods shifted rather quickly. He at least tried to resemble the man I once knew.

We both did.

For Naz.

For us.

For our family to stay together.

I started having intense flashes and sparks of emotion when it came to certain things. It mostly happened when I was around Tristian. The sentiments he sparked within me were familiar yet foreign.

But I swear it was so much more than that.

I began having dreams about him in ways I never had. Horrible dreams where I woke up panting and breathless. He never noticed, or if he did, he pretended like he didn’t. I’d stumble out of bed, walking around the house in a daze, unable to find sleep again.

The dreams were different every night. Sometimes, I relived that evening we didn’t talk about. Except, it would end with Tristian pulling the trigger into my heart. What was scarier was that I felt the bullet pierce through my chest.

It felt real.

Every. Time.

Night after night, I dreamed about the same thing, only different. The dream that terrified me the most was Naz walking in a few minutes before when he did, seeing his father aiming a gun at his mother. When Tristian saw him barreling into the living room, it didn’t stop him from pulling the trigger. Naz watched me die. I bolted straight up on our bed, sweat dripping off every inch of my skin.

That nightmare wasn’t the worst one I’d had. The dream that didn’t allow me to find sleep for days was the one where Tristian aimed the gun at our son instead. My mind wouldn’t go any further. I’d wake up before Tristian even had the chance to pull the trigger on our boy, and then I’d go puke my guts out in fear that I was seeing a future I couldn’t prevent. A future where I and my only reason for living were in danger.

Each nightmare felt more real than the last, making it hard to decipher whether was my reality or just an illusion in my head. It was all-consuming, almost unbearable some nights. To wake up in pure panic and sweat, sitting up in my bed, panting.

Hyperventilating.

Feeling as if I was dying inside.

Remembering what my soul wanted me to forget. There were times I’d lie back in bed and hug my pillow, pressing it tight against my body, immediately feeling comfort like I was embracing an actual person.

Which didn’t make any sense when my husband was soundly sleeping beside me. Other times it felt like I was going crazy, my mind battling within itself. It was becoming nearly impossible to avoid the nightmares. Nothing worked.

Not warm milk.

Not exhausting my mind and body until I couldn’t stand anymore, and I’d pass out instantly once my head hit the pillow.

I’d still find myself in that same spot in the living room with Tristian pointing his Glock at me. It was overpowering to experience, not knowing if it was real or imaginary.

I was extremely grateful that one thing had returned to normal, though. Tristian didn’t drink at home or in my presence. I welcomed him back with open arms, trying for the life of me to make us work.

The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to just go and be with him. Wanting to feel safe, secure, wanted. Needing to feel some sort of light in this darkness we had created. At least when he was with me. When we were together, I thought about the old Tristian, seeing glimpses of him. Often wondering if he was truly there or if I was imagining that too. I hated that I second-guessed myself, wondering if he’d always been like this, but I hadn’t seen it, or worse, thinking that I was the one that caused him to change.

I worked so hard to keep Romeo out of my mind. Other than that evening last year, it was like he’d dropped off the face of the earth. I debated on texting him more often than not, just to know that he was all right. Also, resisting the urge several times to ask his mother if she’d heard from him, afraid of the response I’d get. Was he with someone? And why did it feel like a knife was getting shoved into my chest whenever I thought about it? There were times when I would catch myself thinking about Romeo, hoping he was safe. Praying he was alive.

And not in some woman’s arms.

It was a selfish thought; he deserved to be happy. I couldn’t help it like I couldn’t control my nightmares of Tristian. They were there.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.

I was stuck.

Frozen.

Standing in the living room, a huge part of me never left.

Pieces of me were scattered around our home.

Tristian’s office.

The living room.

Even our bedroom.

Our bed.

We hadn’t made love in I didn’t know how long. We hadn’t had sex, and he hadn’t pushed me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. He was being patient with me, and I thought that was the old Tristian rearing his head, but he’d changed so much I was afraid to hope for that, afraid to believe that the old Tristian was back.

There I was, waiting for him to come home. Wearing a pretty yellow sundress, his favorite color, and style on me. It was our anniversary.

Our fifth anniversary.

What milestone had we reached?

Silver? Or was it gold?

I had to do something to get me out of this heavy place.

I left Naz with my parents, wanting to have the evening alone with Tristian. It was way past dark by the time he opened the front door, and I was waiting in the same haunted living room for him. Desperately trying to knock away the memories in this room like I’d done the past year alone.

“Hey,” I announced, causing him to lift his gaze and lock eyes with me.

I could tell he was a little taken aback by the way I was dressed, and I silently hoped he couldn’t smell the bottle of wine I’d downed and hid to be able to go through with this.

Narrowing his eyes at me, he searched my face, for what I didn’t know.

“You’re late,” I declared, not knowing what else to say.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt that he’d shown up this late into the night.

Did he remember?

Did he forget?

I couldn’t tell anymore.

Why should being married for five years feel like talking to a stranger?

He just nodded while walking toward me. In five long strides, he was standing right in front of me. Reaching up to sweep my hair away from my face, never letting his eyes waver from mine. It was only then that I smelled women’s perfume.

Simultaneously, he reached into his suit jacket pocket and pulled out a distinctive teardrop-shaped blue bottle. “Do you think I’m like my brother now? For you,” he stated, reading my mind and where it went. Handing me the fragrance I must have smelled. “Happy anniversary, Eden Sinacore.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, not hesitating for one second, fully aware if I did. I wouldn’t go through with this.

Leaning in, I kissed his lips. Softly at first, wanting, needing to take away the memory of that night when he’d held a gun over my heart.