Chapter 98
Ciara waited that night, her mind racing with thoughts she tried to push away. “It was just a meeting,” she told herself over and over. “Vanessa said so, and I didn’t see anything wrong. Callum just greeted her. It’s normal, right? Stop overthinking, Chara!
She spent the whole afternoon trying to calm her nerves. She knew Callum would be back that night, and maybe they would finally talk.
These days, she had been so emotional. And everyone was starting to be on their toes with her presence. She was spiraling. She knew that but she couldn’t accept any help.
The house felt emptier than usual, the silence pressing down on her. She wandered from room to room, unable to settle.
She tried reading, watching TV, and even baking cookies, but nothing could distract her for long. Her thoughts kept circling back to Callum and Vanessa, to the meeting she had seen.
As the hours ticked by, her anxiety grew. She checked her phone repeatedly, hoping for a message from Callum, but there was nothing. She debated calling him but decided against it. She didn’t want to seem paranoid or desperate. She needed to trust him, didn’t she?
Calm down, Ciara. This isn’t you. You are not one to beg for someone’s attention. You are a Sullivan.
“Mommy? Are you still not sleepy?”
Ciara jumped at the sound of Cara’s voice. Cara, dressed in her pajamas, climbed onto the couch next to her mother. She kissed Ciara’s cheek and hugged her, though her eyes were almost closed with sleepiness.
At that moment, Ciara felt a little at ease. At least, the presence of her child still calms her. Even back then when things between her and Callum were rough, Cara had always been the one who gave her strength. Because of her, everything was bearable.
As long as Cara is beside me, everything will still be alright…
And yet even after she continuedly tell that to herself, the heaviness inside her heart wouldn’t go away. It’s f**g suffocating.
Ciara glanced at the clock and realized it was already past ten. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed the time slipping away.
She forced a smile and hugged her daughter back. “You should go to bed now, Cara. You have school tomorrow,” she whispered, her mind elsewhere. What were Callum and Vanessa doing? Are they still together?
Cara looked up at her, her eyes droopy. “Are you okay, Mommy
Ciara’s heart ached. Sometimes, she finds her daughter a bit scary. It’s like her eyes could pierce through her soul and it scares her to know that Cara might realize how her mother was slowly losing it.
No. She can’t let that happen.
She stroked Cara’s hair, trying to reassure her. “I’m fine, sweetie. Just thinking about some things.”
Cara nodded but didn’t seem convinced. “Daddy will be home soon, right?”
And there it was again, the heaviness in her heart. She took a deep breath before forcing a smile, one that would hide the
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stress that she was feeling right now.
Ciara nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Yes, he will. Now go to bed, okay?”
Cara gave her one last hug before heading to her room. Ciara watched her go, guilt washing over her. She needed to be strong for Cara, but tonight was too much.
Hours passed, and Callum still hadn’t come home. Ciara’s worry turned into frustration and then into hurt. He hadn’t even sent a message. She picked up her phone and dialed Gwen. It’s not something that she does often, even back then. She never asks Gwen about Callum’s whereabouts until now.
“Gwen, where is Callum?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
There was a pause before Gwen answered, “He’s at his office, Miss Ciara.” And it was obvious that Gwen was startled by her actions. Of course, Ciara was never the clingy type. Even after everything that had happened between them before, Ciara never asks about Callum first.
“Is he in a meeting?” Ciara pressed, her heart pounding. She bit her lower lip. She’s feeling so nervous and she wonders if Gwen notices.
“Yes, but…” Gwen hesitated. “I don’t have more details.”
Ciara ended the call, her hands shaking. She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. She went to her room, feeling the weight of loneliness and doubt crushing her.
Lying in bed, she stared at the ceiling, the silence of the house amplifying her pain. She tried to convince herself that there was a reasonable explanation, that everything was fine. But the ache in her chest wouldn’t go away.
The argument with Callum replayed in her mind, every harsh word and accusation. They had fought about something trivial, but it had spiraled out of control.
She had refused his attempt to be with her while she was struggling and yet here she is, breaking down like an idiot when everything was actually a problem that she created herself.
“He said we would talk…” she whispers, her hand shaking out of so much stress.
She thought about everything that they had been through. They lost two children already. More than ten years had passed and they were doing fine. Why is everything crumbling down now? They had been through so much together, but lately, it felt like they were drifting apart. She missed the way things used to be when they could talk about anything, when they felt
like a team.
The image of Callum with Vanessa flashed in her mind again. Vanessa was beautiful, confident, and poised. Ciara felt a pang of insecurity. What if Callum was drawn to her? What if their connection was more than just professional? The doubts bothered her, making it hard to breathe.
As the night wore on, Ciara’s thoughts grew darker. The idea of losing Callum terrified her. She had never felt like this before.
She looked at the clock again. It was past midnight. She picked up her phone, debating whether to call Callum or wait for him to come home. She decided to send a text instead.
“Callum, where are you? It’s late, and I’m worried. Please come home.”
She stared at the screen, waiting for a response. Minutes felt like hours. When her phone finally buzzed, her heart i but it was just a message from Serra. No word from Callum.
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Ciara curled up in bed, her mind racing. She remembered G****rs hesitation on the phone and wondered what she wasn’t saying. Was there something more going on? Was Callum hiding something from her?
Desperation drove her to make one inore call. She dialed Gwen again, her fingers trembling.
“Gwen,” she started. She knew Gwen understood why she was calling again. If there’s someone who knows her better than herself, perhaps it was Gwen. She knew everything that had happened to her and her entire family.
She took a deep breath, “I need to know-was Callum meeting with someone specific?”
There was a long pause before Gwen answered, “Yes, Miss Ciara. He was meeting with a certain Vanessa Harlson.”
Ciara’s heart sank. “Do you know what the meeting was about?”
“I’m not sure of the details,” Gwen said softly. “But it was scheduled and work-related. Do you wish for us to check her background?”
Ciara wet her lower lip and was unable to respond immediately. Of course, knowing everything about Vanessa would be easy. Their family’s security system is unmatched. But doing that makes her admit that she was losing a battle that only she was fighting. There was no reason for her to do a background check for that woman.
“No. There’s no need to do that,”
Ciara thanked her and ended the call, feeling more confused and hurt than ever. She buried her face in her hands, the tears flowing freely. She had tried so hard to stay calm, to trust Callum, but the doubt and fear were too much to bear.
She cried until she had no more tears left, her body shaking with **bs. The loneliness was overwhelming. She felt abandoned, unloved, and lost.
When she finally lay down, exhausted, the room felt cold and empty. She clutched Callum’s pillow, inhaling his scent, and whispered into the darkness, “Please, let this be a misunderstanding. F**k,”
This had never happened to her before. She was always in control. She was always able to manage her emotions. But she’s breaking down right now and it’s scaring her.
She fell asleep out of tiredness but nightmares kept coming in and this time, it was different images of Vanessa and Callum doing unforgivable things that almost wrecked her. She woke several times, each time hoping to find Callum beside her, but the bed remained empty.
“Oh, my G**d, Ciara! Wake up! Ciara!”
“Start the car! Ciara!”
She could hear panicked voices around her and as she slowly opened her eyes, she saw herself lying on the floor while Serra was kneeling in front of her. She was shouting at people but she couldn’t understand what was happening.
When did she end up on the floor?
She wants to ask Serra if Callum is back but her eyes closed once again.