SAGE

Chapter 38: Love between chaos

Alora Trevino

As they say, we don't remember the days but we remember the moments.

It's not always the breaths you take that counts but the moments that took your breath away.

Only one person took my breath away in this life and I knew that today I would see that person.

I felt it in my bones that he was here. In the same city as I am.

I could've lived for him. Breathed for him but at the end you do you, right. But I still wanted to.

For a moment in time I fooled myself into thinking it could turn to something more but he made it clear,

each time, repeatedly that he didn't see me they I wanted him to see me.

It didn't matter though because it would've never worked. Not in this lifetime at least. He was young yet

he had a bone in him of a man.

Yet at the end of the day he was boy who sometimes acted like a man but still a boy nonetheless. I

guess that what's drew me in and I hanged around for so long.

It was never meant to be nothing more than a once off thing but he made me love myself through him.

He didn't judge or criticize me. That's another reason why I hanged on for so long.

But the buttom line is, we wanted different things. Eventually I wanted commitment and he wanted me

without the promise of one.

I couldn't stick around for maybe he changes his mind. I couldn't.

I made a choice now I will live with it.

At the end of the day I had to do me. He taught me that too.

I won't deny that through him I was a changed woman. A woman who can appreciate herself because

he showed me how.

He was patient through it all. He held my hand and taught me step by step how to appropriate myself

instead of waiting for someone else to do it.

He made me feel special but at the end of the day there's one man I always have been in love with.

The lines might have blurred for a while but there was no doubt. I was and always will be in love with

Axel.

I won't deny that at the beginning it was rough. I never thought he would one day return my feelings.

But he did. Axel reciprocated my feelings.

At first his rejection after rejection almost drove me insane but at last I have him.

I won right. As the end I was victorious.

I looked at the woman staring back at me in the mirror. She looked matured but her eyes went as

happy as the woman I saw yesterday yet I felt happy.

I remembered I haven't taken my pills.

I was happy right? I finally had the man I've been gunning for since I moved to Miami.

I looked again and this time I focused on the good things about her. Sage had taught me that.

Don't dwell too on the bad of you can't change it. He always told me. In time I learned to listen and did

just that.

Her royal blue dress fitted her perfectly. Axel had chose it for me. He chooses my clothes.

He said the dress complemented my blue sparkling eyes and brought my blond hair to life.

The dress wasn't my fave choice or my second but looking at it now I realise it should have been. I

looked very beautiful in it. It is great to have Axel choose my clothes. I trust his judgement.

I strapped my sterling heels and fixed my dress.

It was off the shoulders and it had a spilt from mid thigh.

Axel said it would show my great long legs. Like I said I trust his judgement.

Axel came from behind and hugged me. We locked gaze in the mirror as he looked if my make up was

perfect.

He always did that.

He scowlled and shook his head. I frowned because I did not see any mistake.

"The red lipstick is a no no. A nude would look better. And I specially told your glam squad to use light

grey eye shadows not dark grey." He complained.

I did not see what he saw but he's the one in the fashion industry so I trust him.

"Baby, don't forget to take your happy pill." He reminded me and I smile grateful at him.

It's things like this that made me fall in love with him all over again. His sweet and never forgets about

important things in my life.

About the time I started dating Axel, my mood was always at an all time low and I was always all over

the place and emotional.

Axel noticed and advice my to take these pills I like to call happy pills. He buys them for me at the

pharmacy and he always has an extra bottle with him for when I forget mine.

Now I can't go a day without them. They boost my mood and without them I will be all over the place

and very emotional.

I popped two pills in my mouth and grabbed a water bottle and washed down the pills.

Axel came back with the glam squad and fixed my make up.

The Cotillion was held at One World Trade Center.

One of the most beautiful skyscrapers in New York.

New York used to be home almost five years ago. I always like to think I was more happy here than I

was and still am in Miami because when I was still in New York I still had a mother.

At the Centre I followed Axel as he finished his business of over seeing the dresses designed by his

fashion house.

"Babes it's almost time." Axel told me and I smiled at him as he lead me to the line.

The announcer had already began calling names when we arrived.

Soon they called us to walk down. I wrapped my hand around his upper arm and he led me towards the

stair as the announcer announced us.

"Walking down next is Axel, heir to the Vintage fashion houses and walking down beside him is Alora

Trevino."

We started descending the stairs and flashed if camera went off everywhere.

I tried to focus around the room as I sub-consciously searched for one soul in the crowded room.

I knew he was here because I could feel it.

He reached the landing of the stair and immediately Axel want to work. He told me earlier about having

to seal a deal.

I went to find a seat while searching for Sage.

I looked around and finally I saw him.

He looked even older in a suit. I thought but he wasn't alone.

A girl sat besides him. Her head was on his shoulder.

I felt a pang of jealous hit me with a force then the whole damn truck poured and my heart roared with

jealousy.

I confused myself. Sometimes I couldn't understand myself.

I told him I never wanna see him again yet right now I wished he would look my way. Just once and

smile at me like he use to.

Sage pointed at something and the girl giggled. She oddly seemed familiar.

My eyes went where Sage was pointing and I saw Harry and Evernly walking down the stairs.

Harry's hands were on Evernly's lower back.

To say she looked gorgeous would be a complete understatement.

I'm sure if this was a beauty contest she would take the trophy.

Her dress was also stunning but seeing her this close hurts because I still wanted to be close to her. I

still wanted to be her friend.

Like we use to. When she trusted me with her secrets.

I would do anything to be her friend again but I'm afraid that our friendship might be too damaged too

fix.

After all she hated me now.

Once upon a time I meant something to the Miller sibling yet right now it's like they never knew me.

Axel is the only one who cares. I sighed.

"Still lonely as ever." I spun around to the source of the voice.

Taylor was standing behind me. Age looked stunning as well but I now know she's not as nice as I

thought she was.

I sighed again but this time is was out of frustration.

"If you gonna talk crap about Eve, I suggest leave." I deadpanned spinning around again.

"Still defending her after all the humiliation she put you through." She stated coming around. "I don't

understand That."

"You don't have to." I know there's no chance Eve and I will be friends again but I can only hope.

I want to be loyal to her. Even if we'll never be friends. I screwed up with Sage, I couldn't help it but that

was and will be my only sin.

"I think you're stupid. You don't know her like I do. She's horrible, a monster and aggressive." She

argued angrily.

"Frankly I don't believe you." I replied without missing a beat.

"I showed you the marks on my neck. She wanted to kill me. My throat was sore for a week and I

couldn't talk. The marks ate still visible." She hissed loosing her cool.

For three damn years I've known Taylor to be cool and calm. I thought she was a good person but that

was only a facade.

"And I told you I don't believe she did that and if she did, she must've has hwr reasons." I told her.

Her face went red real quick. She huffed angrily and flounce walking away very fast.

I rolled my eyes and continued stalking Sage and his date.

The night went on as people danced and have fun while I stayed seated wishing I could.

I smiled ad people greeted me, fellow ex-classmates and people I met through out my eighteen years.

I've never felt more lonely than I felt at that moment. I couldn't take my eyes off Sage as he danced the

night away with his date.

He was having the time of his life while I wished it was me twirling in his arm.

I watched in envy as she thrived in his arms where I want to be.

They shared jokes and laughed.

I felt jealousy, envy and sadness.

Jealousy that it wasn't me laughing with Sage. Envy because I wanted Sage and sadness because I'm

pathetic, and lonely.

As if feeling my eyes on him, he lifted his head and met my eyes.

It was too late to look away because our eyes met and he saw me staring at them.

His brows creased as he looked at me.

I smiled not knowing what to do. The smile was forced. I wanted to do anything other than smiling.

He didn't smile back but he made way way to me pulling his date with him.

He stood a foot away from me.

"Alora, long time no see." He beamed and I frowned at him.

First it's been less than a week since I last saw him and secondly, we were not on good terms and what

confused me is how he said that and smiled.

Is he patronising me? I thought bitterly.

I did a once over on his date to find at least one flaw on her but I found none.

She looked perfect and flawless. That made me hate her even more.

"You look a bit lonely." He asked but I could tell it was fake concern.

I bit the inside of my cheeks and pulled my lip into a thin line.

It was too soon to see or even talk to him like nothing ever happened between us.

It still hurt how things ended. His cruelty was still engraved in my mind.

"Oh let me introduce you too." He promptly said.

Up close I knew who she was and I'm very sure we didn't need any introduction.

Even though you've seen each other, we have never talked.

"Kate this is Alora, a friend." Kate threw me a dirty look and I returned it. "Alora this is Kate, my

girlfriend."

Suddenly the air choked me and I broke into a fit of coughing.

I couldn't begin to process the pain that went through my whole body when I heard that.

I have never felt pain so intense like I just did.

"W-w-h-a-a-at?" I stuttered.

I needed to hear that again. I had to make sure.

For as long as I've known Sage he never had a girlfriend and always told me he had no interest in any

time of relationship.

What had changed? It's the main reason we didn't work because he he would have never made me a

girlfriend.

"She's my girlfriend." He repeated. I couldn't even mask my pain and God believe me, I tried.

I didn't want both of them to see how much it affected me.

"Since when? You don't do girlfriends remember." I blunted out.

Before he could answer familiar hands wrapped themself around my torso.

I tried to put up a happy smile but I'm afraid I might have grimaced.

I felt annoyed at Axel for showing up but I couldn't show it.

I wanted his hands off me.

I saw when Sage's eyes landed on Axel's hands then his jaw clenched but I couldn't be sure it was the

reason.

"Baby, I'm done now. You have me all to yourself now." He whispered against my skin.

Shockingly, I didn't feel the butterflies I always feel when he touch me. I only felt annoyance.

Sage rolled his eyes in a not so discreet way.

"Sage." Axel sneered and glared at him.

"We were keeping your girlfriend company. She looked really lonely." Sage taunted and I detected a

challenge laced through the words.

"Oh really. Why didn't you come find me?" He asked me but before I could answer Sage replied for me.

It's not like I had any responseto that.

"She shouldn't have to." He spat. He really was pushing Axel. "You should be really carefully next time.

This whole room of horny men."

I could feel Axel was about to blow up. Anger was radiating off him in waves.

"And what's that suppose to mean?" Axel sneered.

He doesn't like being undermined and Sage was doing just that, purposely.

Axel already didn't like Sage and he couldn't stand him.

"I think we should go." I suggested nervously.

I was shifting from one foot to the other. Axel has a nasty temper. I don't want a fight to break out.

Once I saw Sage fight and he fought with Harry. If he could hold his own against Harry, it's clear that he

can hold his own against Axel.

But I don't wanna find out.

"No Alora, I want to hear what he wants to say." Axel pushed glaring at Sage.

I stand corrected. Axel hates Sage with a passion and I don't blame him. I would too.

"So many men in this room were lusting after her." He didn't miss a beat when he said that.

I felt Axel's body go rigid. I thought he was gonna loose it.

"Oh really? And you were one of them." Axel spat.

Anxiety filled me and I saw Kate's jaw flex for a moment.

The tension was rising fast between the four of us and I was the center of it.

"Have you seen the showstopper, the bombshell, the beauty queen next to me." He twirled Kate and I

felt even more jealous.

Kate raised her shoulders and tilted her head up in appreciation.

I almost splashed my champagne at her to wipe the smug look off her face but I chugged it down.

"Oh babe, you flutter me too much." She leaned in more.

If she leaned in more she would strand him and have sex right in front of us.

It's like she's desperate for attention. She's really pathetic.

"But that's what you are, a full course meal." He played along.

I wish my heart is in a better place, my mind is in a different state but unfortunately for me, I'm still the

same Alora Sage worked hard to groom but when he left she fell back.

I was still Sage's Alora. I'm in love with Axel but I belong to him.

"Besides Axel, I've already had my fun with her." He declared.

Both Axel and I froze, my jaw along Kate's dropped ans this while Sage flaunted a big smile.

My heart dropped. In all my life I've never thought he'd say something like that. I've known his cruel but

this was another level of cruelty.

I felt like the world was small again. They room was closing in and i couldn't breath. My ears were

ringing.

"So chill. You're having my seconds." He added. I felt so disgusted and dirty.

"Actually, you were having my seconds. After all, I was the one who popped the cherry." My head

snapped to Axel.

I wasn't sure I heard him correct. He couldn't have said that. Axel is not that cruel.

I don't know what was worsen what Sage said or what Axel said.

Part of me feel like what Axel said was worse. At least Sage isn't my boyfriend and I've always known

he had no filter but Axel, he is my boyfriend and what he said is more hurtful.

I suddenly pushed Axel's hands off me and walked away. Fast.

I'm done letting people see me cry. I couldn't cry in front of them. Not when the whole room is full of

media.

Eventually I found an empty room and sat there.

I've never had an easy life and I get that sometimes life isn't fair but lately it just seems like life is never

fair. Especially to me.

I don't know how long I sat there, on the floor by the door crying.

I didn't feel like stopping or getting up or even going back to the damn hall.

This whole day can go to hell, after all the day had been hell for me.

The heard the door open but I didn't look up, I didn't have the energy in me to.

Whoever walked in can have all the laugh he desire. I didn't care.

"Alora get up." I heard a familiar voice.

A voice that belongs to Axel.

"Go away." I sniffled a cry.

"He made me say it Alora. He was pushing me, you heard him. You were there." He tried justifying

himself but there's nothing he could say that can make me forget what he said.

I didn't have it in me to play the blame game with him. I just didn't.

He didn't say anything too for a while.

"You should take your happy pill." He suggest.

I scoffed and laughed bitterly.

"That's all you can say?" I asked.

"It's clear you need it." He told me.

I ignored him and pulled my knees to my chest, burying my head between my knees and hugged my

legs.

"Okay Alora, I'm done playing nice." He said.

Funny. I thought. I didn't even know he was playing nice.

"I want you to get up, now." He roared but what's funny is I didn't shake like I always do, anger bubbled

inside me.

"For once Axel, for once, just for once would you please let me do something I want." I pleaded with

him.

I don't know where it all came from, I've never felt like he was controlling me. But I continued.

"I want to do what I want. Please, I don't want to do what you want." I told him then buried my head

back between my knees again.

I heard him sigh then he left. I relaxed when the door closed.

Not even a second later after the door closed I broke again.

It hurts to know that Axel doesn't care.

It's good to dream, or so they say but people forget nightmares are dreams too.

I've been living a dream and a nightmare at the same time.

It's easy to pretend that I'm not confused about my feeling. It's easy to pretend that I love Axel when I

perfectly know I was in love with him.

The door opened again.

"I told you to go away Axel." I yelled angrily.

He didn't leave nor did he say anything. I know he didn't because the door closed yet I felt his presence

in the room.

"It's not Axel." The hair at the back of my head stood still.

My whole body went rigid as my brain registered the voice.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Slowly I raised my head and twisted it so I could see him.

"Do I look okay?" With my red eyes and puffy face I asked.

"No you don't." He answered truthfully. "But you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

My breath hitched and my heart sank at the same time. He said that to another girl not do long ago, in

front of me.

Words that once flattered me were now bringing me pain.

The pain I thought I felt when he told me Kate was his girlfriend was now a thousand time worse.

"Your cruelty has no boundaries." I said disappointed.

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Prec