Strings of Fate

123–Interested and idiotic

The conversation wraps up quickly after that and Shaun makes his way home. He says goodbye cheerfully as usual but he’s obviously very distracted. I wonder how long it will take him to ask me for Amber’s number. That’s something to look forward to at least. Bellamy had followed Shaun so he could lock the front door behind him so I grab my phone and start researching different ways to meditate and tips for clearing your mind, focussing. Stuff like that. A lot of it involves creepy ads for potions and spells. Particularly when I added the word ‘focus‘ to the search. Illegal study aid spells came up a lot. I wish it were that easy. I’m going to have to learn this on my own without magical assistance. When Bellamy returns, I feel him drop down onto the couch beside me. I don’t look up from the article I’m reading until he clears his throat. I look up and realise that his face is right next to mine. He’s sitting close. Very, very close. Much closer than he was before. I meet his gaze and he smiles softly.

“I missed you today.” He says quietly. He is so close I can feel his breath as he speaks. I can feel myself starting to flush red.

“I- I missed you too.” I confess. Bellamy leans in closer, uses a hand to push my hair back behind my shoulders and presses his lips to the side of my throat.

“I loved coming home to you though.” He murders. I can feel the whisper of his lips against my neck and I can’t help but shiver. My hands sit in my lap clutching my phone uselessly. My fingers are suddenly really sweaty and my mind is blank as I try to formulate a response. I need to say something. Anything.

1

“I saw Shaun’s red thread today. It’s my friend Amber.” I blurt out. Bellamy pauses for half a second before continuing to cuddle into my neck and shoulder. His hands winding their way around my waist, lifting me slightly and turning me to face him.

“Really. That’s interesting.” He comments, his tone mild.

“You- you don’t sound interested.” I manage to squeak out. Bellamy pulls back from me. enough to be able to see my face. A slight smirk crosses his face.

“I’m very interested…” he trails off. Leans in and presses his lips to mine. He starts slowly, leaving light k*sses on my lips and along my jaw. Somehow I find my phone sipping from my fingers. It makes a light thud as it hits the carpet. With my hands now free they end up on

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123–Interested and idiotic

Bellamy’s shoulders. I’m clutching him so tightly that my fingers hurt. He doesn’t even seem to notice my death grip and takes advantage of the fact that my arms are no longer between us to pull me even closer so I’m practically in his lap with both legs swung out to one side. Bellamy’s attention returns to my lips and he k*sses me again. This time it’s so intense I find myself struggling for breath. Bellamy adjusts his hands so that one presses against my lower back, holding me close. The other he twists into the hair at the back of my head and uses it to guide me closer. My mind is struggling to catch up. How did I end up here? I was just trying to tell Bellamy about Shaun and Amber and then- oh shit Amber. She knows about her

up in and Shaun. Which means she saw me tell Bellamy. Which means she saw… I freeze embarrassment. I can feel anxiety clawing at my stomach. I know I’m not doing anything wrong, but the thought of her seeing this. I feel like I might be sick. Bellamy obviously feels me tense up because he stops and pulls back. He assesses my panicked expression and his pleased expression falls away to be replaced with concern…. And disappointment. He releases. me and I immediately scramble backwards off his lap and tumble into the couch. Bellamy turns to sit straight and awkwardly adjusts the crotch of his pants. The motion makes me cringe. Just how much did Amber see? Bellamy sighs and

drops his head into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. He appears to be taking a few breaths to calm himself. Not a bad idea. I find myself trying to match his breathing. Slowly my heart rate begins to steady. The flush in my cheeks is going to take a bit longer to fade away.

I realise Bellamy still isn’t looking at me. I open my mouth to apologise and explain why I freaked out all of a sudden but Bellamy speaks first.

“What did I do wrong?” He asks quietly. He sounds miserable. What the hell? He thinks he did something? Why would he think that? I’m the weird one who gets awkward and overthinks everything!

“I- No! It wasn’t something you did. I was just thinking and I got embarrassed and…” I trail off helplessly as I realise I don’t know how to explain the issue. Where do I start? I need to tell him how Amber’s visions work. Or maybe more about Oracles first. How much does he know about them? I’m trying to work out what to say when Bellamy speaks again. His voice is practically a monotone and he still doesn’t look at me.

‘If you just aren’t interested in me… physically you can tell me. I’ll understand if my k*sses make you uncomfortable.” He forces out. My mind stalls and I completely lose my train of thought. Wait, what? I know I’m awkward, but where did he get the impression that I’m. unwilling? Or uninterested at least. The longer I stay quiet the lower his shoulders drop. Okay enough of this. I cross my arms and glare at him.

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123- Interested and idiotic

“You’re being an idiot.” I declare. This is enough to get him to sit up and look at me. The baffled expression on his face is pissing me off. Does he really not know why I’m annoyed?

“You’re being ridiculous. If I wasn’t interested in you that way I wouldn’t let you k*ss me. I wouldn’t k*ss you back. I wouldn’t sit on your lap or sleep in your bed! Before meeting you I’d

ever even k*ssed a guy! Never even considered it! We’ve only been together a few weeks!” I

throw my words out getting more and more worked up as I go. Annoyed, I turn my back to him and angle myself away from him on the couch.

Bellamy sits in stunned silence for a moment before he groans and reaches out to me. Placing a hand on my shoulder he speaks.

“Ry? Sweetheart I’m- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Shouldn’t have even thought it.” He sighs.

“Please look at me.” he pleads. I don’t want to. If I look at him he’s going to give me big innocent cat eyes and I’m going to forging him immediately and I’m just not done being mad

yet. How could he even think that? I shrug his hand off my shoulder. The only response I give him is a small shake of my head.

“Ryann, please.” He begs. I let my shoulders drop and lean forward. My hair covers my face

like a curtain.

“Why would you say that?” I force out, my voice small. Shoot I sound like I’m crying. I’m not crying. Am I? My eyes are burning. I wipe at my face and find it wet. Ugh. I hate crying. Stupid Bellamy. This is all his fault. I spend half my time freaking out because I’m so weirdly AWARE of him and I don’t know how to deal with it. I called a stop for what was actually a fairly reasonable reason but he just jumps to conclusions instead of giving me time to gather my thoughts which he very thoroughly scrambled in the first place!Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.