Chapter 16: Suspicious
Even with a heavy anxiousness creeping the hell out of me, I still went to the office. I planned to avoid Logan as much as possible even though I am sure that it will be hard. F*ck it! How can I even avoid the person who is just feet apart from me?! But when I arrive at the office, I don’t even need to avoid him because clearly, he does the same thing that I build inside my mind. Logan didn’t just avoid me rather, I feel like for him, I am no longer existing.
Earlier in the morning, there is an urgent board meeting. I suppose to come with him since I have to accompany him to every meeting he will going to attend. As a secretary, I must be there wherever he is. But to my disappointment, (yeah, maybe I am disappointed in any angle I may try to look at), he put a sticky note on my table. There, written his message he can tell me directly but he didn’t. See, he is avoiding me.
At first, I thought he was giving me a favor. Because he is already avoiding me, I don’t need to effort much into creating excuses about what he saw at the mall yesterday. But when I ate my snack at the cafeteria with Lyndon, I instantly felt disappointed.
“He wants to get rid of you.” This keeps on playing in my mind like a broken disk.
Get rid of me? Then why not fire me? Why not throw me outside his company if he wants to get rid of me. He is sick of seeing me, then why not throw me out?
“Come here.” I jolted in upon hearing his cold voice from the intercom. Since yesterday, one day after seeing Aisle, he really didn’t talk to me. He will just used those poor sticky notes to deliver his messages. It’s up to me if I can comprehend the message written on the right. If I did understand it in the wrong way, surely, he will roar at me just like before.
“Yes, S–Sir?” I sputter because of meeting his deadly glares. I tried to avoid it but it was too late when he was the first one who break the stare.
“Clean my office,” he ordered, not looking at me. When I roamed my eyes around, I grimaced realizing that there are lots of crumpled paper in his damn whole office.
But despite that, I still smiled. “Yes, Sir.” I hurriedly walked towards the trash bin where beside it, it is where the broom is. I started sweeping from the other side of his office, I even dusted off those cabinets and tables. When the part is already clean, I turned to face his table, and there, I caught him staring at me.
He immediately pulled away from staring which made me secretly let out a smile. Huh, looks who’s stealing glances?
“Sir, can you sit at the couch first, I’m going to clean your–”
“You can clean my table without throwing me to the couch,” he cut making me gape and stare for a second. “What are you still looking at? Clean my table,” he harshly ordered so I have left with no choice.
I strode towards his table, with a broom and duster in both of my hands. His table is the one I cleaned first and even though there is still a clean distance between us, I am still uneasy. Maybe because I know that he keeps on staring at me while I am working on his table.
“Hurry up, there is still trash in here.” I glanced at where he pointed and quickly pouted upon seeing those pieces of shit under his table.
The last time I checked, he wasn’t this messy while working. He can even manage to make his office appear as an ideal room for doing different works. But now, his whole office is dreadfully untidy.
I finished cleaning his table as soon as I can and when it was now time for cleaning the under, I gulped. Realizing that there is no way for me to clean it but to turn on his place, the uneasiness doubled.
“Hesitating, Alice?” he asked huskily all of the sudden.
I pulled down my gaze under the table and brought it back to his face and then I gulped again. F*ck, is he really challenging me?
“Fine, I’ll move so you will not be nervous.” He chuckled followed up by lifting his butt from his table. When he turned his back to me and face the glass window, I breathe in relief. Slowly, I walked towards his swivel chair and bent down to pick up those crumpled papers. I then sweep the floor off and then dusted off his drawers and chair. When I am all done, I was ready to leave his table when he stopped me to do.
With his strong arms, he held me up to his table. His arms settled in beside my both legs as my heart thumped so fast because of shock. He leaned towards me, making me bend backward. His breath is touching my facing and f*ck, why do my sex clench because of that?!
“Why do you need to hide it?” he suddenly asked in his hoarse voice. I suddenly felt drunk especially when he leaned closer, almost touching my cheek with his pointed nose. “You were always with me, almost every day yet I didn’t know what is happening between you and my brother.”
My eyes circled in awe. Brother? Is he going to talk about Lyndon again? Lyndon and Lyndon again? Come on, there is nothing between me and that boy.
“Sir, I think you really misunderstood something,” I replied, still palpitating because of his strong presence conquering mine.
He shoots me with his deadly glares. “Misunderstood what? Misunderstood that my secretary has a child with my brother? Come on, Alice. Stop bullshitting me, will you?” He bit the bottom of his lips. “I saw her, I saw your child, and damn it! She looks like my brother, he even looks like me!”
Idiot! She really is because she is yours and not your brother’s child!
“Break him,” he ordered which I didn’t get in the first place. “Break up with my brother, Alice. Damn it, break him up and go with me! I can raise your child like she really is mine. Just.” He leaned closer, touching my ears with his nose. Fanning my neck with his breath. “Just. Leave. Him,” he continued in his hard tone.
***
Damn Logan Ivanov! What was he thinking upon saying those words to me? Leave Lyndon and go with him? Is he saying that I should give up Lyndon for him? Darn it! If only he knows that he is comprehending everything in the wrong way. For heaven’s sake, Lyndon and I weren’t connected to each other. I don’t even see Lyndon as an attraction.
“Come back to Earth, Alice,” Helena snapped in front of me, dragging me back from the reverie.
I turned my head at Aisle’s room where she came out. “Where’s Aisle?” I asked.
She sat beside me and snatched the remote in my hand. “She’s already sleeping. She even asked you for a bedtime story yet you didn’t know?” My mouth formed an ‘O’.
Damn! Because of her father, I didn’t notice nor heard her asking a bedtime story. I felt so guilty all of the sudden.
“You know what, since you go home, you act like you are not into your sense. You’re even dumbfounded while dinner. You should get rest, Alice.”
I nod, standing up and walking to the fridge to drink water before sleeping. “Turn off the light, unplug all wire, Helena,” I reminded her before entering my room.
As I closed the door, I leaned to the door. Image of Logan while I am sitting at his office table and he is staring at me intently, cane back in my mind. Biting my lips, I dive into my bed. Honestly, after leaving his office, different emotions consume me. I don’t really know what to feel, how to react. Should I believe him? Or should I not? Was it true or he is just saying those words to me so he can get me and play in his hands just like what he did to all of his girls?
A huge part of me is saying that I should not believe him. That he is just lying, that no part of his words is true. But there is also part of me saying that I should believe him, that I should open my mind to him. I really want to believe him, I really like it. Thinking that he said those words genuinely makes me the happiest woman on Earth for the reason I really don’t know. Maybe, I was attracted to him that is why I am so affected by what he said. But was it bad to believe… to hold on to his words? Was it bad to take the risk even though it means telling him the truth? The truth is that I’ve been hiding from him ever since.
“Good morning.” I immediately lifted my butt from my seat when the door opened, giving me the man who hunt my damn whole night.
“Good morning, Sir,” I greeted back, silently thanking my mouth for not sputtering.
He let out a playful grin which I think, complete my day. “Just Logan for you from now on,” he said, entering his office while I, was left dumbfounded. Didn’t notice that I slowly let a smile and to my shame, Logan sees it causing him to tease me.This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .
“Sooner or later, you’ll be mine, Alice,” he tease as he closed the door completely.
I sat down and secretly follow his every moment inside. And f*ck! Why do I have these sudden butterflies in my freaking stomach?!
“Darn it, Alice! Focus your ass on your f*cking work! Stop eye f*cking him, will you?!” I silently scolded myself, refraining myself from getting a glance at Logan again. But damn, dude! I just can’t tear my gaze away from him.
From that morning to our lunchtime, my work went in that way. Stealing glances at Logan then hastily put back my eyes at my monitor whenever he glances at my table. It was so an awkward yet satisfying moment for me. It does not only give me butterflies in my stomach, but it also gives me energy while working which is very unusual for me.
But when the afternoon came, everything that I feel changed when Logan came back after leaving the office. He told me before he go that he will just attend a meeting in which I couldn’t come. I agree, at least that won’t bore the hell out of me while listening to the endless discussion of two or more elite people around me. When Logan came back to the office, his expressionless face didn’t escape my eyes. I even greeted him as soon as he entered but my words hang in the air when he slammed the door close. I frowned in confusion about his sudden mood change.
“What happened to him?” I silently asked, glancing at him inside. When his eyes landed in my direction, our eyes met causing me to pull out from stares. When I came back on glancing at him again, I couldn’t see him anymore because of the blindfolds.
I grimaced and chose to focus on my work again. Moments have passed when I heard him speak from the intercom, ordering me to come inside. Wasting no second, I pushed myself inside only to find him leaning against his table while crossing his arms around his chest.
“Si–”
“Tell me, Alice. F*cking tell me the truth, damn it!” he roared, cutting my words, making me step back from shock. With his sharp movement, he strode towards me and then held both of my shoulders tightly. “F*cking tell me the truth! Is she his child? Was that child is Lyndon’s daughter?!”
Here we go again. Lyndon. Lyndon. Lyndon.
“Damn you, woman! Lyndon told me that she wasn’t his. If that so, why the hell your child looks like him… looks like me?! Tell me the truth, Alice, or else you’ll taste my wrath,” he paused, giving me his bloodshot eyes. “Is Lyndon was her father, Alice?! Was it Lyndon?!” He shook me harshly making me whine in pain.
I couldn’t answer, I don’t want to answer. I thought … I thought we are over with this argument. I thought he is now over with Aisle. I thought he is no longer bothered about who the hell is Aisle’s father.
“She is not Lyndon’s child, right? She is mine, am I right?” His eyes squinted which is the total opposite of mine.