Chapter20 A Moment With The Bronte Sisters
ElenaThis content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
I rushed out of Sebastian’s room after putting the mask back where I found it. The man I had shared a connection with at the masked ball was Sebastian, who was also coincidentally the man I despised above all else.
Did I still despise him, though?
I sit down on my bed in a daze. Could Sebastian have felt the same way about me at the time? It would explain why he came to see me the following weekend, but he asked for Eliana Wiltshire, not me. Was he mistaken as to who I was?
My mind was working overtime at what I had discovered and suddenly 5 years seemed even further away than before. Maybe this whole thing was an enormous coincidence.
Sebastian and I were always in the midst of banter whenever we met in the past. He displayed an open dislike towards me and vice versa. He couldn’t possibly be that sweet gentleman from so long ago.
I saunter towards my bathroom to have a soak and to forget that I found that damned mask.
Two hours later, I feel refreshed and ready to tackle the day. However, there was nothing planned for that day, so I would be stuck indoors again. It was later Winter and a few months away from Social Season so there would be no glamorous parties to attend and show face to.
Ugh, I needed to do something or I would go mad!
I looked at my cell phone on my bedside table and an idea came to mind when I picked it up. My sister answered on the second ring, “Elena!” She exclaims when she answers and I couldn’t help but smile. “I haven’t heard from you in ages, stranger. How have you been?” I ask her. I have been missing my sister something awful but felt as if I would bother her if I contacted her now. She was just starting her life with Robert, I did not want to be a reminder of what she would have been trapped in.
“I have been okay, the morning sickness has just started easing up. Robert has been fussing non stop!” She says with a laugh, and I suddenly feel my bottom lip tremble. My sister sounded so happy and content… and now I would be bothering her with my problems. “And you? How have you been?”
Dying inside, but okay, sis, thank you.
“I have been well, missing you though. Would you care to meet up for brunch?” I ask her, praying she would say yes. “I am going crazy here in the villa all by myself, and need to get out.”
“Oh, honey, I have missed you too! However, I am not in England anymore as I live with Robert in Paris now. I am so sorry, Elena!”
My heart sinks just a little more into despair.
“Oh, no, it’s okay! Please let me know when you are back again? I miss seeing you.” I say, not giving away my disappointment and hoping she did not hear it in my voice either. Eliana sighs, “Of course, love. I promise…” She trails off, “Wait, what villa?”
“Sebastian’s villa in Kensington. I moved in here after the wedding.” I say as I play with the stray lock of hair that fell over my shoulder.
“I didn’t even know he had a villa in Kensington!” She exclaims, then I remember that Sebastian had told me he never brought Eliana here. Oops.
We talk a little more, then say our goodbyes and promise to keep in touch. Then I throw my phone across the bed and let out a sigh. Gosh, I was feeling so depressed today, what the heck was wrong with me? I just spent the previous evening alone with Sebastian, opening up to him about myself, and yet I felt drained.
The way he made me feel had me confused and my stomach in constant knots. I feel another headache starting and get up from my bed; being stuck in this room was not helping my disposition.
I went over to my bookshelf and grabbed my well-worn copy of ‘Wuthering Heights’ as well as a fluffy blanket from the edge of my bed, and headed downstairs to the conservatory. Noting the dark clouds looming over the glass ceiling, I knew it was a perfect day to spend with a Brontë sister.
Yes, I know I am being completely transparent; a hopeless romantic trapped in a loveless marriage. However, I do find that reading distracts me from the duty of everyday life. I open the book to page 1 and find myself getting lost in the bittersweet love story yet again.
During my afternoon in the conservatory, Ilse brought me tea and hot chocolate to keep me warm, commenting, of course, on how Sebastian had flown it in from God knows where because of my peanut allergy. I was starting to think she was trying to sweeten him in my eyes, and it made me smile. She cared for Sebastian and wanted to see him happy. Why did everyone suspect that his happiness lay with me, though?
“‘He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same.’ ”
I hear Sebastian’s husky voice behind me, quoting the novel’s most famous line and turn my head to face him. Gosh, it was dark out already. Had I read the entire afternoon away?
“You’ve read Wuthering Heights?” I ask him with a smile and put the copy of my book down on my lap. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked towards where I was seated, giving me a gorgeous Jake Gyllenhaal lopsided smile.
If my heart had a face, I would punch it right now for its irregular beat. That smile, oh my gosh.
“I have, more than once.” He says as he sits on the L-shaped couch next to me, leaning back and draping his arm over the backrest.
“I can tell by the way you perfectly quoted Catherine,” I say and hear his deep chuckle. What was happening to me? Sebastian was causing unwanted feelings to stir up inside of me. I did not want to feel this way, especially not towards him.
“Indeed. You have picked the perfect place to read, and that book is an ideal companion to the dreary weather.” He says as he points towards the book on my lap. “Do you have a favourite Brontë sister quote?”
Of course, I do, who didn’t?
I nod, “‘I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.’ ”
Sebastian smiles at this, “Jane Eyre. Of course, that would be your favourite quote. You are known as The Rebellious Heiress.” He says, calling me the nickname my grandmother had bestowed upon me, and I smile sadly.
“And yet here I am, in an arranged marriage because of duty. So much for being a free human with an independent will.”
I regret those words as soon as they leave my mouth, and I blush. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I have been in an incredibly morbid mood today.”
Looking over at him, I see his face was set in a scowl, but he says nothing and I sigh. “I always seem to ruin the mood with my words,” I say as I cast my eyes down towards my hands sitting in my lap.
“I prefer honesty anyway, Lady Wiltshire.”
When he says this, my head snaps up and I look at him with a frown, my heart sitting in my throat. I can’t let him know that I know it was him at the masquerade ball, I just can’t. Whatever is happening between us cannot continue to grow.
I do not know how to respond to this and stare at him. Then he gets up and walks towards the door, then stops at the entryway.
“‘Silence is of different kinds, and breathes different meanings.'” He says, quoting Villette, and then he was gone. He knew God damnit, he knew.
I ruined the mood between us again, but I had to. I cannot allow Sebastian to creep into my heart, not after Nicholas completely crushed it. I think back to my Jane Eyre quote from earlier, realizing that I did not actually complete it.
” ‘I am a free human being with an independent will, which I now exert to leave you.’ “