Chapter 40 Gone Awol
I feel her soft hand gently rest on my shoulder; I can hardly believe that it is her voice that I hear coming from behind me. I cannot help but bring a smile to my face. The woman has indeed done something that is hard to forgive, but I will honestly say that I am pleasantly surprised to hear that she is here. Though I never saw her jump off the plane, I am sure I would not have missed something such as a thing.
So without hesitating, I immediately turn around to greet her, and as I turn around, I cannot believe that it is her that I am truly seeing.
“Hi, Emily.”
“Hi, Ethan. I cannot believe it is you; when Ray told me that you would be here, I thought he was just joking around with me.”
“I did not see you on the plane?”
“I flew in yesterday; I wanted to come to check that we have all the supplies that we will need.”
“Well, it was great to see you, but I was actually looking for Ray. Have you seen him?”
“He is busy with a briefing. You can save me from MacKey and have a coffee in the messhall?”
“Uhm…I guess why not.”
I watch as she walks off in front of me; as she whisks past me, the sweet scent of jasmine and vanilla fills my senses. I have forgotten how soft she smells and how softer she feels; touching her feels like laying your skin in a fluffy cloud; not only is it refreshing, but it comforts you in ways that not many women can do.
But if I thought that I had not one inch of emotion towards her left, the way that her dress flares in the cold breeze set my hormones racing on a completely different mission.
To think that this beauty was going to become my wife does fill me with short-lived happiness. Or is it just the feeling of seeing someone that I once deeply loved? I will and cannot ever hold what she did to me against her. But just as with Ana, I will not allow her to creep under my skin and make me fall for her again.
The thought has not yet run its course, and she reaches out for my hand as we sit down. And I can honestly say that there are more than a few things that shall be standing at attention today. Well, then, on top of that, this dumb Marine builds one rather big smirk on his face.
“Emily.”
“Ethan, I want to say sorry for the way I left you that day. None of all those excuses that I came up with do justify what I did to you.”
“You left me when I needed you the most. I would have sat better if you left me for MacKey, but the way you left hurt more than my leg ever did.”
“I could find so many excuses for leaving, but the biggest excuse, I was stupid and selfish.”
I watch as those words flow over her sweet cherry lips, I have wanted to tell her it so many times after that day that she was selfish. But here, now, in front of me, when I look into her sharp blue eyes, I cannot find one ugly word to say to her.
“Emily, that is in the past. We are going to be here for a long time, and the last thing I want to do is hate you every minute.”
In saying that, I think I have come to the closure that I needed with Emily. Does it make me any less of a man that I can forgive the woman that hurt me so much? Or does it make me a stronger man to not let them do that to me again?
Well, maybe in a way, it does now seem like the better option if Ana was not here.
…Ana POV…
All I had to do is stick it out and be a woman true to my word, but I ran away like a coward the same way I did after Mark’s death. The same way I ran away when the reality of a new beginning was too hard for me to face. I want to be with a man that defines the word strong, and I am like a weakling lying at his feet. I do believe the reality, in fact, is that Ethan deserves a woman that is far stronger than me.
As I watched him drop out of the plane, I believe that the final connection that was between us went away. I do not know what made me think that Ethan would be that man that would always come back begging for me to take him back. Well, it seems that I have underestimated the real Marine that was hidden in his heart. Whatever made me think that I can let a man with a passion and dream give up everything he has been working for his whole life. How can I expect him to be with a woman that does not appreciate what was given to her after it was already late?
I had the opportunity to make things better, even if we were just friends, and this is what I do.Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.
…Ethan POV…
When one door closes, they say that there is another one that will open and bring a new possibility to your life. Can relationships turn into friendships after so much heartache was suffered by the people you think loved you the most?
Sitting here, I have the face of Ana playing over in my mind, the way she rejected me for the second time in so many days. Are we destined to be together, or are we destined just to be friends? But in saying this, here I have Emily so goddamn beautiful than I have ever seen her before. Now, what is our destiny? Perhaps this is not something that one should think of when your heart is in pieces, but most of all, when you are a Marine on a mission.
So with my head back in the game, I sadly leave Emily behind and go to seek my squad instead. And as I get to Gibbs, he does seem to have grown a stupid smirk on his face again.
“So I see you have a little Emily problem over there?”
“Little, me, little? You know what they say about men that need to compensate for something they lack.”
“And exactly what is it that you lack?”
“A leg, you damn idiot.”
“Ha! That does not count. So tell me, how is the old girl.”
“Not very old, in fact, fairly young and much prettier than I can remember.”
Then from behind, Gibbs steps Williams, who just by the stupid look on his face is about to say something ridiculous which only he will find funny.
“Hey, can you stop banging all the nurses!”
With not even an arm’s leg away, all it takes is…one.. two…wham! He nearly falls flat on his ass; at least, he causes the rest of the platoon to laugh under the almost unbearable tension that they feel.
As I look over onto the rows of green canvas tents, planted in the muddy ground, surrounded by the lush trees in practically almost nowhere, I feel that feeling creeps into me once again. It is not the feeling of being proud of myself, but that longing that I had to share this with someone else than just my squad. I do believe that this Marine has a tiny problem.
So while we are standing and waiting for Ray to finish with his briefing with the boys back at home, Emily comes walking past us again.
“Hey Emily, come stand here with us while we wait for Ray to come out.”
Now, whose face lights up the most is left to be seen, I am playing with fire, and I am going to get burned. I guess there is such a thing as rebound, and I am experiencing that feeling quite strong at the moment, or maybe I am just happy to see her after such a long time.
So as she is standing next to me, I see a very confused Ray coming out of the battle ops tent. I guess I am going to get it from him about Emily as well. The more he comes to our squad, it does seem like he looks somewhat upset and irritated. And as he comes to a stop in front of our group, it is not with an angry voice, but more of a concerned one that he speaks.
“Where is Ana?”
“Well, she sort of did not want to get off the plane.”
“What do you mean she did not want to get off the plane?”
“She said she could not do it, so I left her behind on the plane.”
“Ethan, I just got off the radio with the plane to make sure they made it out safe; Ana is not on that plane.”