The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

Chapter 54

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 54

~ATTICUS~

“Why do I feel like you’re pulling away from me since the accident?” Anya asks.

She hasn’t stopped asking me uncomfortable questions ever since she came over for the party.

She doesn’t hide the hurt in her voice from me, and it fills me with guilt. I still didn’t dare to tell her that my feelings for her had changed. I didn’t know how to say to her that all of my feelings were for Autumn because even I didn’t understand how any of that was possible.

Autumn? Why Autumn? Why her closest friend?

I’ve always feared that I cared way too much for Autumn, even while I was with Anya in the past. I kept my distance from her because of it.

But since when had those feelings become this dangerous? Since when had those feelings transformed into something else? And what should I do to prevent them from getting stronger?

I thought that I’d done a good job in the past at keeping her away from me. What the hell had happened to change that? I couldn’t think of anything that could have possibly happened in that short space of time before the accident that could have caused Autumn and me to get closer to each other.

“Atticus?” Anya calls as she waits for me to say something.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I forgot that she was speaking to me. What else has she been saying to me? I could only remember the last question she’d asked me.

I searched my mind for a response to her question which wouldn’t hurt her feelings. Making her happy was always my main priority, and I didn’t plan on stopping it now. She meant so much to me; even if my feelings were off, I still wanted the best for her. Hurting her was not something I ever planned on doing.

“It’s because I feel like you’ve been lying to me, Anya.” I remind her. “I feel like everyone is lying to me, and I hate being lied to. Ever since that fatal accident, I feel like I can’t trust any of you, which is crazy since I trust all of you more than I trust anyone else. That’s why it bothers me that the people closest to me are trying their best to hide so much from me.”

She stiffens, and I can tell my words have hit a nerve. I wasn’t trying to anger her. I was only telling how I truly felt. I was answering her question but not being totally honest with my answer.

“I’m not lying to you.” She snaps. “I’m just trying to protect you from yourself. That’s all. Everyone wants to protect you. That accident scarred all of us, Atticus; I’m sorry that we can’t tell you every little detail about that day. When we think you’re ready, we will let you know everything. You said that you trust us, and we were hoping you could continue to do that. This is not the time to lose what we have; this is our chance to get closer to each other. You haven’t even touched me as you used to since the accident. Do you know how that makes me feel? It makes me feel unwanted.”

She throws her arms around me, and once again, I felt nothing. Still, I held her to me because she’s all I’ve ever known; loving her was the only thing I’ve known since meeting her. It felt weird how much of my feelings have changed just because of one accident.

I wasn’t going to wait around to find out the truth anymore; I was going to do my own research. It was clear that no one would ever tell me the truth. I may spend the rest of the year waiting for answers and never receive them. I was never someone to sit around and wait for the answers to come to me; when I wanted something, I went after it. This was no different. I wanted to know the truth, and I was going to find it.

“Atticus,” Anya whispers, still in my arms. “Do you promise to love me for the rest of your life?”

I held my breath; I didn’t want to answer that. I couldn’t fulfill that promise. I’d already broken it. I wasn’t even aware of what was happening in my heart anymore. I had to figure my feelings out before I answered her. I didn’t want to lie to her. I never liked lying to Anya.

The door flew open suddenly without warning. Whoever it was hadn’t even bothered to knock.

“There you two are,” Clarissa says as she barges into the room.

I should have guessed only she would do something like this. There’s a mischievous look in her eyes. Something tells me this was totally intentional.

I move away from Anya, who glares at her. Their hatred for each other has intensified so much that I knew that plenty more had happened between them that I didn’t know about.

Did they have another argument over Damon? They were always fighting over who got to spend more time with him. I didn’t bother asking. I knew by now that they weren’t going to tell me anything. I didn’t know how Damon was able to split his time between the two of them. But right now Anya seemed to be more concerned about Autumn than she was about Clarissa.

“What do you think I should wear for the party tonight?” She asks as she holds up two dresses in her hand. One was a light blue and the other, a black. One showed more skin and the other was a little more conservative but not by plenty.

I quirk a brow at her, confused by her question. Since when does Clarissa care about my opinion on the clothes she has to wear? I’ve never once given my input. I’ve never really had to either since Damon was usually the one complaining about what she wore. Clarissa always did the opposite of whatever anyone asked her to do. Then why would she ask for my opinion or anyone else’s for that

matter? It was clear that her opinion was all that mattered to her. She was in my room for a totally different reason, I was sure of it.

“Does my opinion matter?” I ask.

“Of course.” She says with a forced smile. “Your opinion has always mattered to me, Atticus.”

I held in the laughter inside of me at her blatant lie. What could she possibly be doing this for? It almost felt like she’d purposefully interrupted my time with Anya. That wouldn’t be so far-fetched, considering how much she enjoyed angering her.

“Whichever one is covering more of your skin.” I finally say.

She rolls her eyes, “this one?” She asks, pointing at the opposite of what I’d told her, just like I expected her to do.

I sigh, “whatever you want, Clarissa.”

She looks at Anya, “should you be inside here with him?”

The glare between them was deadly. Those looks could kill a person.

“I’m his girlfriend.” She snaps. “Of course, I’m allowed in his room. Why does that bother you so much?”

She shrugs her shoulders, “it’s nothing. I like pointing it out. Mother wants to speak with you, Atticus. You should go see her.”

I was glad for the distraction. I didn’t want to give Anya an answer to her earlier question. This was my opportunity to escape from having to answer her.

I quickly excused myself and followed Clarissa out of the room.

“I heard you and Autumn had a steamy scene in class today.” She points out with a grin. “Is there anything you’ll like to share with me?”

I stop walking, “Where did you hear that?”

We did have a moment in class, but that was just me trying to get answers from her. I know I could have done it without touching her, but a part of me wanted to hold her close, and that was the closest I could get without doing too much damage.

“Everyone at the academy is talking about it.” She answers me. “It sounds like you’re both getting along well.”

“It sounds like people at the academy should mind their business.” I retort. “Enough about that.” I say, distracting her from that discussion. The last person I wanted to discuss this with was Clarissa.

“What does mother want?”

“Oh, nothing. I just said that because it looked like you were begging me to help you get away from Anya.” She points out.

I pause. She meant that this entire time my mother hadn’t once asked to see me? Since when did Clarissa become this sly?

“Clarissa,” I growl.

“What?” She asks innocently. “Did you not want my help?”

I sighed, I wanted to be angry at her, but she was right. I begged her to help me without having to say a word. I was desperate for an excuse to leave that room with Anya still in it. When she mentioned not touching her, I felt uneasy. I didn’t know how to touch her when I didn’t feel anything at all for her. She wouldn’t understand even if I tried explaining.

“If you’re unhappy with Anya, why are you still with her?” She asks. “I’m genuinely curious.”

“It’s complicated,” I tell her. “I’ve loved Anya for so long, yet my feelings for her only changed after the accident. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. I can’t just break everything off like that because my feelings have changed. I also need to consider her feelings. I don’t want to hurt her.”

She sighs, “It seems like you should be with Autumn instead of her. There is more chemistry between the two of you.”

I quirk a brow at her, “chemistry? What do you even know about that?”

“This isn’t about me. Don’t try to change the subject.”

“You’re suggesting I end my relationship with Anya and start dating her best friend?” I ask. “I’m not heartless, Clarissa. I could never do something like that.”

She laughs like my words were some kind of joke to her. Did she know something that I didn’t? What was so funny about that?

“I wish you only knew what you are capable of doing Atticus. Give yourself a little more credit.” She says. “Anya and Autumn are no longer best friends. Do you see the way they glare at each other? Autumn has moved on to better friends.” She claimed as she pointed at herself.

No one had to tell me that. I saw everything on my own. It’s crazy how much has changed.

I’m about to ask her what she meant by that, but she turns her attention to Damon next. And once Damon had her attention, no one else had a chance of getting it also.

I considered what she’d just said to me. Dump Anya and date Autumn? The more I thought about it, the crazier it sounded.

I had to get my feelings in check. I couldn’t keep feeling something I knew was wrong. Tonight, I had to avoid Autumn as much as possible. I couldn’t let her get under my skin.

The accident messed with my head. It’s the only explanation I have for everything happening. I wouldn’t let it mess with my heart as well. It was time for me to get everything under control. Anya was hurting enough; I didn’t want to cause her any more pain. Enough was enough. Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

. . . . . . . . . . .

~AUTUMN~

Atticus is on the dance floor with Anya, and it hurts my heart to see him with her again. It pains me even more, to know that he’s like this because of an accident. He’s no longer trying to assure me he was over Anya; it was the opposite now. I had to watch them together and act like it wasn’t killing me inside.

“You got this,” Clarissa assures me.

His eyes haven’t stopped at me once. He doesn’t know I’m here, or maybe he chooses to pretend that he doesn’t know. Whichever one it was, it still felt like a stabbing pain in my chest.

I sucked in my breath and held my head high as I entered the dance floor with Clarissa. Even though I felt sad, I promised to try my best to get him back.

“I asked Damon to have them change the music from these boring slow songs to lively ones.” She informs me.

The music changed after the song finished, and I began swinging my hips from left to right. I wanted to slowly remind Atticus of every moment we had together before the accident.

This would hopefully remind him of the day Griffin had took me to a party on the beach. It was a day I could never forget. He’d lifted me off the ground and carried me to his jeep. I still got butterflies thinking about it.

I’m not even sure that he can see me. I’m turned in the opposite direction. Usually when Atticus is looking at me I can feel his gaze digging into my back. I didn’t feel that way and maybe he’s too busy dancing with Anya to notice me.

“Look at Autumn go,” Griffin says as he whistles loud enough for Atticus to hear him. He was also happy to have me back in his life. Griffin has always supported my relationship with Atticus; I’m glad it hasn’t changed.

“Forgive me.” Griffin apologizes as he pulls me closer to him. “I’m only helping you get my brother back from the evil one.”

The evil one? I stifle my laugh. That’s the perfect name for someone like Anya.

It felt uncomfortable dancing with him knowing I was married to Atticus, but I was happy for any help I could get. Besides, I trusted Griffin; he would never cross the line.

“How has he been without me?” I ask.

“Not good,” Griffin confessed. “He looks like he’s missing an important part of his life, and he is. Without you, Atticus is very unhappy. He needs to regain his memory quickly. If he doesn’t, someone will have to tell him the truth. He can’t spend the rest of his life never knowing that you’re his wife.”

It was true. One day, someone will have to tell him the truth. But I was still hoping my love would help him remember before it came to that. It would be easier for all of us if Atticus regained his memory.

“He’s looking at us.” He informs me. “And he doesn’t look happy. That’s a good sign. It means his feelings have not disappeared with his memory.”

I was happy that he could keep me informed without having to look at Atticus dancing with Anya. It was easier when I didn’t have to look at them.

“Thank you, Griffin.” I meant it from the bottom of my heart.

“Don’t thank me yet.” He warns. “Thank me after you get my brother back.”

I smile, “You’re that confident I’ll have him back?”

He frowns at me, “Have you seen how he looks at you without even having any memory of marrying you? I think it’s safe to say that he’s still yours. Now it’s time that he realizes it on his own. That’s why I’m here, to help push him in the right direction. You should know by now how good I am at pushing his buttons. That hasn’t changed at all.”

It was true. There were many times that Griffin helped bring Atticus closer to me. I had to trust that this plan of his would also work.

He throws glances at Atticus while ordering me to pretend to laugh at his jokes. I didn’t have to pretend; Griffin was a joy to be around. And his jokes were actually funny, most of the time, at least.

“Now it’s time to spice up the fun.” He tells me as he takes my hand and pulls me out of the dance floor.

Spice up the fun? What could he possibly have in mind?

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“Anywhere that Atticus would not be able to find you.” He informs me. “When he realizes you left the party with me, he will lose his mind. I’m positive that he will come looking for you after.”

Griffin takes me out to the back of the mansion. We keep walking for a few minutes when something catches my attention.

I freeze.

And I stayed that way for a few seconds.

“What’s wrong?” Griffin asks as he follows my gaze.

The jeep.

Atticus’s favorite.

It’s the first time seeing it in person after the accident. I’ve never seen a vehicle look this destroyed before.

I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes as I walked closer to it. My hands are shaking as I slowly reach out to touch it.

“It’s bad, I know,” Griffin says as he watches my reaction to finally seeing it in person. “I’m happy you weren’t there to see the accident. I’m glad you didn’t have to see Atticus in that state.”

“I feel horrible.” I cried as the tears flowed down my cheeks. “I hate that I couldn’t be there when he needed me the most. I hate that this happened to him because of me. I hate everything about this.”

“Hey!” Griffin says as he hugs me like a brother would hug his sister. “You’re not to blame for any of this. Atticus did his job as your husband to protect you. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you’re not to blame for this. These things happen, and sometimes there’s no one to blame. Come to think of it, that isn’t exactly true; those men who kidnapped you are to blame.”

“Griffin?” A third voice says.

We pause, and when I turn, Atticus is staring at us.

We both freeze.