Chapter 44 Cooper
Cooper
I blinked my eyes open to find the sun already halfway in the sky, its rays streaming through my sliding glass terrace door to taunt me.
“Shit.” I groaned and then rolled over until I fell off the edge of my leather couch and landed ass first on the floor. My head bumped against the side table, and I rubbed it before sitting up and glancing at the clock.
It was almost noon, making this the third day in a row I had not only opted not to work, but had also chosen not to bother calling my brothers to let them know as much.
No doubt they were near murderous about it by now, but I still couldn’t summon the energy to care. Instead, I lay back on the carpet and surveyed the mass of beer bottles on my coffee table, counting the little brown circles from beneath the glass table’s surface.
Twelve. Which, admittedly, wasn’t so bad considering they’d spanned three days of nonstop drinking. The empty bottle of whiskey was somewhat less encouraging, though.
Rolling on my side, I found my phone where I’d left it nearly three days ago.
After all, even without checking, I knew there would be no messages from Corinne. And if there were? It would only be details about when her last day on the job would be.
When my life without her would truly begin.
Fuck.
I couldn’t understand how I’d done this again-fallen in love with a woman who would never choose me, no matter the circumstance.
And when I wasn’t lying on my couch trying to imagine a world when my every waking thought wasn’t about the one woman who made me realize what love really was, I was drifting off to sleep, dreaming of having her in my arms again.
They were simple dreams, so close to reality that they shook me to my core. Made me wake up full of hope and happiness until I realized that they were only dreams.
We were sitting on the terrace, snuggling by the fire, or she was lying spent and sated in my arms after a round of passionate lovemaking. Our conversations were nothing deep or spectacular, but in my mind, they were so real. Like I could wake up and text her to continue the conversation, and she would know exactly what I meant.
But it was all in my head, and I would wake up back in a world where she’d been ripped away from me again. Where I had to remember all over again that I would never have her here with me. That she could never truly be mine.
I pushed a hand through my hair, then scrubbed my hand over my beard just as my phone lit up. I turned to look at it, watching as it vibrated its way across the floor, the ringtone blaring its overly cheery melody. Not that I would bother to see who was calling.
Instead, just like I had the million other times this had happened, I got to my feet and ignored it, grabbing a blanket from my bedroom before returning to the couch for another round of much-needed sleep.
Eventually, I would be able to wake up and look at all my messages. I’d have to.
But that day wasn’t today. For now, I was going to wallow until the hole in my chest felt a little bit smaller.
Snuggling onto the leather cushions, I pulled my knees close to my chest and wrapped the blanket around me before closing my eyes and trying desperately to focus on something, anything, that didn’t remind me of Corinne.
Still, as I drifted off, her face appeared again, smiling at something I couldn’t remember saying, and she was laughing. Then I was laughing too and-
My heart stopped as something pounded hard and loud against my front door. I blinked, jumping to my feet.
“Cooper!” Gavin’s yell was muffled by the door, but I would know his voice anywhere.
“Go away,” I shouted back.
“Open this fucking door, you dick,” Quinn commanded, and I held my breath as they began to pound again.
“We’re not leaving until you let us inside,” Gavin added, and I knew he’d be true to his word.
Seeing no other option, I padded toward the door and opened it, turning my back on my brothers before making my way back to my couch and flopping back onto the cushions.
“Jesus,” Gavin said as he surveyed the rows of empty bottles while Quinn scooped my phone from the floor and sat it in front of me. “You’re a real fucking mess, yeah?”
“What do you need?” I asked none too politely.
Quinn took a seat on the sofa opposite me and crossed his arms over his barrel of a chest. “I want to know what’s going on. I haven’t seen you this bad, even when-” He stopped short as Gavin winced.
“You can say it. I don’t care,” I said.
“Fine, then. Since Emma.” Quinn nodded. “The last we heard from you, you were going to talk to Corinne, then you just don’t show up for work and don’t answer anyone’s calls? Do you know how that made us feel? We were half expecting to find you dead.”
Gavin nodded, then took a seat beside our older brother. “Look, we know this is hard for you. We just want to know what happened so we can help. Corinne resigned.”
I nodded. “I thought she might. So she’s already gone, then?”
Quinn didn’t bother answering, but his mouth flattened into a thin line.
“Today’s her last day,” Gavin said. “Just tell us what happened. We only want to help.”
So I did. I told them about how I’d gone to the coffee shop and listened as the woman I loved described her deep and unmovable love for another man. About my devastation and heartbreak over her loss and tragedy. And about what she’d said when her story was over-about how she could never share her heart with both Aaron and me.
Both my brothers were quiet for a long moment after I’d finished, but Quinn clasped his hands together, staring at them as he spoke slowly and carefully. “I’m sorry about all of that, Cooper. I really am.”
Gavin nodded. “It’s a raw deal.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “At this point, I think I should just learn to expect this kind of thing. As soon as I have feelings for someone, I should just assume they can never be with me.”
Quinn tilted his head to the side. “Don’t be dramatic.”
“Can you blame me?” I demanded. “I’ve had a pretty fucked year, bro.”
Quinn let out a breath. “I guess not. Still, there’s one thing about Corinne’s story I can’t puzzle out.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
He spread his hands wide. “If Aaron was as brain damaged and injured as she says, how could he have been in the right frame of mind to consent to a marriage? It doesn’t make sense. He couldn’t have recited the vows or signed the marriage license.”
Gavin’s face lit up. “Yeah, that makes sense. How could that be legal?”
I sighed. “You’re not getting it. Legal or not, this guy is her husband. She won’t leave him.”
Quinn fished out his phone and started typing furiously while Gavin surveyed me from the couch.
“So, she loves this guy like a brother, though, right? She doesn’t have romantic feelings for him?”
“Right.” I nodded. “But that doesn’t matter.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” Gavin shrugged, but before he could continue, Quinn looked back up at both of us.
“Coop, there’s no way her marriage is legally binding. I’ll do some more intensive research, but everything I’m seeing so far says that it can’t possibly be.”
“And ten minutes of research gave you the ultimate answer?” I scoffed.
Quinn rolled his eyes. “Like I said, I’m going to keep looking, but there’s hope here.”
“I don’t know about that.” Hope was the worst thing, the thing that would truly be the nail in my coffin. And still . . . I wanted to believe him with every ounce of my being.
Gavin pursed his lips. “I think you’re giving up on this too easily. Don’t you think there could be room for all three of you in this relationship? In some fashion, at least?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Just think about it, okay?” Quinn said. “I’ll send you all the information I can find, but you need to do some soul searching too.”
“Preferably without these.” Gavin motioned to the empty bottles littering the coffee table.
“Right,” I said. “I’ll work on that.”
Together, Gavin and Quinn got up from the couch and made their way back to the door.
“Call us if you’re going to miss work again,” Quinn said, and then they were gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Sitting back on the couch, I glanced down at my baggy hoodie and sweatpants. They were right. I had to do some soul searching, and there was no chance of me making any progress with that here.
I was going to take a shower, and then I’d hunt down the one person who knew Corinne best.
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