Uncontrollable Tempration

But there’s Sean who is a genuine nice guy. At least he gives me attention and acknowledges my existence. He seems perfect and ideal but so far I don’t think he’s interested in me that way. Not yet.

I got to the 4th floor and went into his office.

“Hey.” I smiled at him. He always comes in before me. “Good morning.”

“Good morning Sophia.” He smiled back.

“Sleep well?” I asked as I made my way to my workstation beside his.

“Yes I did. Have you been to your floor today?”

“No I haven’t. Why?”

“Oh, I just thought maybe since Adam is now in town, he’ll come to work today.”

“He didn’t.”

“How do you know?” He laughed at my forwardness.

“Because… I checked the parking lot before I came in. His car is not there. Have you gotten any report from Spencer Hyde?” I changed the topic. Talking about him made me feel some type of way.

“Uh… In fact I have. Thank you for reminding me. I wanted you to help me with something today.” He shuffled some papers on his desk.

“Ok, what’s that?”

“I need 24 copies of this document.” He handed it to me.

“Sean! What the hell! This is like a hundred pages! And you want me to make 24 of these?!”Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

“They’re not a hundred, they’re just 43. I thought you said you wanted to help me but don’t worry. You don’t have to.”

Now I felt bad for complaining.

“Ok. Ok. I’ll do it. Just teach me how to use the copier.”

He gave me a look as if to say he won. The things he makes me do, sometimes I wonder why I’m still helping him.

“So… how are your plans for my birthday? Better still, what are they?” I asked. We both made our way towards his copier.

“I can tell you that they are almost done but I can’t tell you what they are.” He smiled back at me. “Put the paper in here and press this button to copy it.”

“Okay.” He left me to do the work and I copied the documents. Doing the same thing repeatedly made me feel a bit dizzy. I decided to think instead.

I remember my last birthday when I turned 22. It was one of the best ones I’ve had so far, thanks to Mr Wilson. He took me to the Sugar Factory and gave me two tickets to the Empire State Building. Unfortunately he couldn’t go with me so I took Phoebe instead. I had such an amazing time all because of him. This year I’ll be spending my birthday without him and the thought made me sad.

Time passed and I looked back at Sean, only to find him staring at me.

What was he looking at?

I gave him a small smile and went back to my work.

I continued to do the repetitive action at the same time still thinking about Mr Wilson and all the nice things he has done for me. I could feel myself getting light-headed so I paused for a minute. I felt like I was going to collapse.

“Are you okay?” Sean was right behind me now. I turned around and faced him with a fake smile on my face.

“I’m fine.” I said but I didn’t sound convincing to him. To make things worse a sharp pain shot through my head, making me stumble a bit.

Sean held me immediately so I don’t fall.

“Are you sure?” He pressed. I put my hand on my head.

“Yeah.” I lied.

Truth is, I wasn’t okay. I was missing Mr Wilson terribly. Since he left, there has been a constant ache in my heart which I cannot ignore anymore. I tried not to let his absence affect me but he still haunts me in my mind, in my dreams, all the time! There is no true escape.

“Tell me what’s wrong Sophia. I know you’re not fine.” He held my face up to look at him. We were way too close for comfort but it’s Sean and I trust him.

“Sean I promise, I’m fine. It’s just the work that’s making me dizzy that’s all.”

“Okay. Then stop. Don’t do it anymore.”

“I can handle it. Don’t worry.”

“No. I don’t want you to do it anymore. I made a mistake giving it to you in the first place.”

“Ok, if you say so.” I tried to smile.

He was looking at me intensely which made me feel uneasy.

“Sean?” I said in a warning tone.

Why was he looking at me like he wanted to kiss me?

He startled me when he held onto me and pulled me a bit closer to him. We were in a very intimate position and my heart was racing. I knew what he was about to do…

And I let it him do it.

He kissed me gently and I closed my eyes. It was… good. I liked it and I let it happen. It felt nice but when I thought about Mr Wilson, I suddenly felt guilty. I broke it off immediately, pushing him away slightly.

I let the kiss happen but now I wish I didn’t. Sean noticing my rejection, let go of me.

I know I told Lily that I liked Sean but I wasn’t actually sure if I wanted to get involved with him. I never expected him to even make a move on me.

“I’m so sorry if you didn’t want that Sophia.” He apologized. “But I had to do it, it’s all I’ve wanted for the past week.”

For the past week???

I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at him incredulously. If Sean was interested in me all this time then he hid it well. I had absolutely no clue.

“Sophia please. Say something.” It was like we were having a staring contest.

I tried to but I couldn’t. I just shook my head in confusion and turned away. I grabbed my bag from my table.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m so sorry Sean. I’m not sure if I can do this.”

“Why not? Please stay, let’s talk about this.” He pleaded.

“I can’t. I have to go.”