Unloved: A Novel (The Undone)

“What next?”

I blush and toss my phone down before haphazardly grabbing it to click the screen off. Sadie eyes me strangely from where she’s pouring herself a decaf coffee from our old Nespresso. It’s ten o’clock at night, but I’m not tired, and I know Sadie wants to stay up with me. Even with how deeply tired I can tell that she is.

When she offered to have a girls’ night with me at the cafe earlier, after I confessed to the official severance with Tyler, I was more thrilled than I let on. I’ve missed her—I’ve missed this. Movie nights and laughs and loud, ridiculous karaoke sessions. I’ve missed Sadie, but I would’ve been happy if her brothers were here, too. They’re just as much a part of my Waterfell family as she is.

But this, just us, girl time, is filling my heart with pure joy.

“Hmm?” I ask, distracted by the image still assaulting my brain. I can turn the phone screen off and away as much as I want, but the image is stuck behind my eyes.

Matt Fredderic sent me a photo. Of himself. Shirtless. With a Hello Kitty tattoo on his pectoral. I’ve seen him shirtless now, but not slick-wet with sweat, the camera angled down toward a very suggestive V, only cut off by the thick hockey pants he’s wearing. Somehow, that addition only made it hotter.

And now, I’m sweating.

“I asked whether you want me to tattoo your face now or later,” Sadie deadpans. All I hear is tattoo and my face goes red as I picture Freddy again, the whisper of his fingers on my hip bone, his breath over my skin. The fading crown that’s still there.

“Earth to Ro-row-row-your-boat?” Sadie laughs, sipping on her coffee noisily as she sits back on our makeshift pallet and turns the movie credits off. “Distracted much?”

“No,” I say too hastily.

She flips through her Spotify playlists on the TV, finally selecting one appropriately called “BOYS SUCK,” and letting ABBA’s “Chiquitita” play over the speakers. I laugh and Sadie grins.

“Are you ‘Chiquitita’-ing me?”

“That’s not a word,” Sadie argues. “But yes. I’ll keep playing it louder until you tell me what happened with you and Tyler.”

I shake my head, but my smile is too big to contain as she turns the volume up. “Liam is gonna be sad he missed this.”

Instead of agreeing, Sadie takes her phone and films a clip of us sing-shouting the words and dancing, texting it to Oliver with a quick message to show it to Liam. And that she loves and misses them both. My heart clenches tight, a sliver of guilt forming because I know she’s not with them only to keep me company.

“I’m really okay,” I say, trying to convince her, and maybe myself. “He sucks and this should’ve happened a long time ago, honestly.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

I smile at her haughty attitude, now that she’s finally allowed to show her distain for Tyler more openly. “You didn’t have to stay with me tonight.”

She turns the volume down and collapses beside me, our heads side by side.

“I need you sometimes, too, you know,” she says quietly. “I know I’m not the best at it, but you’re my best friend.”

My eyes and nose burn sharply, but I shake my head.

“You’re a great friend.” Memories of her flash across my eyes, days when I’ve broken down over missing my parents, over Tyler’s hot-and-cold behavior, over feeling like I’ll never be enough. And no matter what was happening in her messy, chaotic life, she’s always been there to hug me. To lift me up and tell me to be a badass. “You’re my best friend, too.”

Our hands find each other in the air over our heads, fingers winding together as her upbeat playlist continues to thump in the background.

“So… are we gonna talk about Rhys?” I watch her from the corner of my eye, seeing the emotions she’s trying to stifle dance over her features. An almost giddy happiness at the mention of the hockey star, before a shuttering regret and pain. I don’t want her to be sad. “Have you guys hooked up?”

“What? No.”

“You swear you haven’t had sex with him yet?”

I’m mostly teasing, because she’s told me already that she hasn’t actually done the deed with her hockey boy yet—which is surprising with the amount of time I hear suspicious noises coming from her side of the apartment, no matter the time of day.

“He’s really good with his mouth,” she’d said when I pestered her, and my full-body blush took a full day to fade. But even knowing how satisfied Rhys Koteskiy seems to be keeping Sadie, this isn’t the norm for her.

Trying to pester her for more only ends with her sniping back at me with, “I thought you said no talking about boys.” She waggles her eyebrows. “If that’s back on the table, you need to tell me about the Student.”

She asks about the Student—Freddy’s name on my phone—because though she doesn’t know who it is, she has seen me texting the mystery person with a too-wide smile several times at Brew Haven.

My back stiffens, but she laughs, mumbling sarcastically under her breath, before asking me about tutoring Freddy.

“It’s fine. Easy.”

“I’m surprised he needs a tutor. Isn’t he sleeping with all his professors for good grades?” Ouch. “Or does he not have any female teachers to seduce this year?”

I want to chide her for the comments, but I feel unsure of how to do it. Instead, I settle on a quickly muttered, “Very funny,” as my mind races over the words. It isn’t the first time I’ve heard those kinds of rumors, but this is the first time it rips such a deep hurt through my heart. I feel protective of Freddy, as I always do, but there is a possessiveness there that I’m not ready to acknowledge.

But then Sadie’s phone rings, and our night of peace takes a hard left turn.

Sadie’s anxiety is palpable, even if she puts up a good front. We push through the throng of bodies, searching for Bennett Reiner, who is six foot six and broad framed, so it shouldn’t be that hard.

The second Rhys’s best friend called Sadie’s phone, I could see how desperately she cares about the hockey boy she claims is only a “friend with benefits.” She’s on a rescue mission now, shoving through people much more aggressively than I am, despite her much shorter frame.

Music makes the walls thump and gooseflesh spreads across my very exposed skin. It’s not like I haven’t worn something so revealing before; more that there’s a difference between my well-put-together “going out” outfits, and the blue and white silk shorts and tank pajama set I’m currently dressed in. Complete with a white ribbon tied through my thick, curly ponytail and the ridiculous white sneakers I slipped on without socks in our rush, I feel a little foolish.

And a lot out of place.

I see Tyler before Sadie does, tripping back a few steps subconsciously as his reddened brown eyes lock on mine. He shoves Sadie with his shoulder, and the back of my neck prickles as my fingers curl into fists.

If anyone can take care of themselves, it’s Sadie. But I don’t want her to have to—and especially not with this.

His attention never leaves me, almost like he doesn’t know he bumped Sadie.

“Nice outfit, Ro,” he snaps, his voice haughty and taunting.

I nearly flinch but manage to hold it back.

Stepping in front of Sadie, I send her off toward where I can see Bennett and Freddy hovering, though I avoid any eye contact with either of them, thankfully. I know she doesn’t want to leave me here—with a drunk Tyler especially—but from her demeanor after the phone call, something is wrong.noveldrama

And she can deny it all she wants, but she likes the hockey captain—a lot—so after my second reassurance, Sadie reluctantly goes.

“What are you doing here, Tyler?” I ask, not really caring but knowing if I don’t talk to him now, he’ll follow me around and possibly make a scene.

Sober Tyler would be mortified to make a scene, but drunk Tyler is always trying to start something. I stopped going out with our group from lab because he nearly got in a fight almost every night after one too many, and the pattern was exhausting. It was never fun, so that part of my college experience just stopped.

“Still throwing a tantrum, I see.” Tyler smirks, eyes grazing my skin as his fingers reach out to tug and snap at the thin strap of my tank top. The silk has too much give, and I see his eyes dart down to see my bare chest beneath before I pull back and cross my arms.

“If you wanted my attention—”

My skin heats, eyes burning a little at the implication of his gaze and smirk.

“Stop it. I’m not doing this—”

“I said I was sorry,” he slurs halfheartedly, tripping over his feet and crowding me into the wall, hard enough that his hip jostles the table to our left. I’m not short, and Tyler is only an inch taller than me, but he’s suffocating this close. My skin is hot, the back of my neck sticky with anxiety and frustration that I have no release for.

“Actually, you didn’t,” I huff, tucking a few stray curls behind my reddened ears. “A-and it wouldn’t even matter if you did. Now get away from me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ro.”

He reaches up and grips my face. The gesture isn’t rough, but it’s humiliating.

It’s almost painful how he’s the one making a scene, and yet I’m the one left feeling like a chastised child, embarrassed and trying not to cry.

“Stop it,” I snarl. “Get off me.”

I’m sure my voice is too quiet for anyone in the booming, darkened party atmosphere, but someone hears me because the heat of Tyler’s body is gone the moment I close my eyes.

“What’s going on here?”

Even though I want to sink into the ground out of pure embarrassment, I can’t help the wave of calm that loosens my muscles at the sound of his voice alone.

I blink and Freddy is next to me, standing like a buffer so even if he’s facing both Tyler and me, his shoulder is slightly angled to shield me.

Tyler doesn’t turn his bloodshot gaze from me, but now he looks more unhinged, and my stomach sinks.

“Go away,” Tyler spits.

Freddy clicks his tongue, still smiling, golden hair perfect, pale skin still somehow peachy like he just left the beach, his shirt open slightly so a sliver of his bare chest shows. He looks perfect yet again, and I feel more ridiculous.

“Nah,” Freddy says. “I don’t think I will.”

And then his hand snaps out and grabs Tyler’s chin, tugging hard so he has no choice but to look at the taller, stronger man holding him. His eyes try to dart back to mine, but Freddy jostles him again. Freddy’s hand looks so big against Tyler’s face that I worry he might break his jaw by accident.

“I’m not gonna ask again. We gonna have another problem, bud?”

Tyler looks on the verge of a furious outburst, but instead he tries to jerk his chin out of Freddy’s grip again. This time he manages, but only because Freddy has let him go.

“Wasn’t aware we had a first problem, Fredderic.” Tyler clips the last name almost condescendingly. He seems to have sobered up, like the fear of possibly getting into a fight with a six-three hockey star might have chased away his buzz.

“Oh, we do.” Freddy smirks, crossing his arms casually as his eyes flicker from me to Tyler and back. “About yea high,” he says, tossing his hand up to gently pat the top of my head, careful to avoid my ponytail. “Curly hair.” His hand dusts down to tug lightly at one of the curls loose around my face. “Usually wearing a bow.” This one he says with a giggle—not mocking, but with pure joy as his hand skims over the silk ribbon in my hair. “And loves her sexy books.”

Freddy whispers the last part, so low I don’t think Tyler hears it, but I don’t look at him to check. I’m too distracted by the heat of Matt Fredderic’s gaze on my lips, my cheeks flushing deeply under his attention.

And for now it doesn’t matter if this is part of some macho standoff. Freddy’s attention feels good.

The moment seems to lengthen and grow between us, until I’m sure we’ve been staring at each other for far too long. Someone clears their throat. Tyler, I realize, who I’d almost forgotten was still here while I got lost in the deep green of Freddy’s eyes.

Freddy scowls as he looks back over at Tyler, stepping fully in front of me.

“And it all revolves around you treating her like fucking shit.”

For a moment, Tyler looks furious. But I watch with my stomach churning as his face slowly morphs from rage into absolute delight.

“Holy shit,” Tyler says, still smiling like he’s won the lottery. He flicks a finger between Freddy and me. “I mean, I knew you were dirty, Ro, but really? This is what you want? I guess I was right to make that bet after all. I wonder what Dr. Tinley would think—”

As Tyler speaks, I see every muscle in Freddy freeze, pure fury bleeding over his usually happy and mischievous expression. It’s almost frightening how quickly his mood shifts, and something in my head screams out wrong, wrong, wrong.

Freddy shoots forward to grab Tyler by the collar.

“Shut the fuck up,” Freddy snaps, jerking my ex-boyfriend to slam him against the wall.

“Freddy.” My voice is sharper than I mean it to be, but my heart is racing and everyone in the foyer and living room now has their attention on us. “Leave it.”

Freddy shuts his eyes for a second, releasing his hold on Tyler.

“Taking a ride on the school slut to make me jealous, Ro?” Tyler snaps at me again. I can’t help it, but I flinch and move back, hitting the table and knocking myself into Freddy’s side.

It’s like Tyler knows his best shot at hurting Freddy is through me.

And it seems to be working.

“Aww, Donaldson.” Freddy smiles, his entire persona blending into a mix of the previous fury and his usual mischief. “Worried the school slut can actually make your girl come?”

“Freddy!” I try to shout, but my throat is suddenly tight, like I can’t breathe, so it comes out hoarse and pathetic.

Freddy turns his body toward me, eyes scanning my face as if the impact of what he’s said starts to wash over him. Regret fills his eyes, and he shuts them tight. “Rosalie, wait. I’m sor—”

It happens too fast for me to shout the warning, Tyler’s hand snapping out to sucker punch Freddy in the mouth.

Tyler stumbles back, almost knocking into me because I’m still so close to them. Fury darkens Freddy’s gaze as he looks toward someone in the crowd.

“Get her the fuck out of here,” Freddy snaps, pointing at me. Arms wrap around my waist, an apology whispered in my ear before someone pulls me back into the crowd.

But as soon as I’m a safe distance away, Freddy’s eyes shine with excitement as he spins on Tyler, his mouth still dripping with blood as he wipes it away with a smile.

“Been waiting to do this for years.”

Years? Why would Freddy—

Freddy grabs the collar of Tyler’s shirt again, a move I’ve seen in every hockey fighting video I’ve ever secretly watched, dazed at the startling brutality. His fist hits hard against Tyler’s jaw, head smacking back against the wall before Tyler tries to swing back at Freddy—missing.

Tyler isn’t a fighter. I know from the number of times I’ve dragged him out of a bar for starting something he never can finish, so I know that if I don’t stop them, it’s going to be a bloodbath.

I look up and see Holden behind me. I don’t know him, but I know he’s on the team, so I ask him, “Where’s Bennett?”

“Haven’t seen him in a while. You okay?”

“Yeah.” I barely have the word out of my mouth before I’m slipping around him and pushing through bodies for the one person I know can stop this.