Vengeful Lies

Hawke and Ford drop me off, as usual. Today was a blur. I feel numb, but I know without a doubt what I have to do. I make sure I do everything to keep my shit together. I have tonight. I can embrace what might have been for one last time.

When I step into the apartment, Eli is fussing in the kitchen, shirtless. I lean against the doorframe, admiring his muscles flexing beneath his tattoos as he cooks. He’s been home early most days since I moved in. I know because I used to track his schedule. But now he makes sure only to conduct work while I’m at work or asleep.

When he notices me, I shut down every emotion and do all I can to keep myself together. Because what’s more challenging than killing this man is realizing I love him, only to have to run away from him.

He tilts my head up and leans down to kiss me. I savor it, wanting to break apart at the touch. Will this be the last time he’ll look at me like this? Like I’m the only one in his world? I’m deluded if I think that’s the truth. But I let myself believe the lie so I can tell myself a prettier story. So I don’t feel so stupid for everything I’m about to throw away for this man. But even though I know that I won’t change my decision.

“Hungry?” he asks. I nod with a tight smile. He returns my smile and then goes back to what he was doing. I place the handbag he bought me a few days ago on the counter and then go into the bedroom to change into one of his shirts—something he’s insisted on since I moved in.

I sigh as I undo the bracelet around my wrist, and consider what’s next in my plan. When I return to the kitchen, his back is to me, his pants hanging low on his hips. I take a moment to appreciate his tattoos and the marring of his skin from his particular liking of me inflicting pain while we fuck like savages.

“Is there a reason why you’re not speaking with Hawke and Ford? They miss you.”

He tenses at my question, then shifts over to fill two glasses with wine. He hands me one as he says, “No. Your safety is my top priority. Sit.”

I do as he says, and he goes back to cooking. Even as he said it, I wanted to believe him. But I know it has nothing to do with my safety and everything to do with ensuring I remain in check and watched over the next couple of weeks to make sure the marriage goes off without a hitch. After that, they only need to keep me around for three months until Eli gets everything he’s wanted.

We don’t speak again while he finishes cooking. I watch him move effortlessly as he puts a plate in front of me and starts to dish up some food.

My mind tumbles over so many thoughts but latches on to nothing at all. I do everything in my power to memorize every inch of his body. The fluidity of his movements. He seems to enjoy cooking and having me watch him while he does it.noveldrama

He seems impressed by his handiwork, and I lean over to take a peek. “What is it?” I ask.

“Chicken. Sorry, I couldn’t find anything vegan.” I fight a smile as he puts some creamy pasta with chicken on my plate.

“I guess it will do.” He hands me a fork and then fixes a plate for himself before he comes around to sit next to me. We eat in comfortable silence.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” he eventually says. I turn to face him, and when I do, he lifts his hand and wipes the side of my mouth with his thumb. “Are you getting nervous about the wedding again?”

“Do you think I’m the type of person to get nervous?” I ask sarcastically, pushing down all of the thoughts that so desperately want to surface and break me into pieces. One foot in front of the other.

The moment I don’t make the hit, I’m a dead woman. It was my own fault for not being able to identify my client. Even with Rory trying their hardest to find out. When I met with my client’s henchman last time, I advised I wanted to break the contract, but I never received a response. No response means the contract and expectation are still valid. It’s time to release what was never mine in the first place.

“I can make you nervous, Kitten,” he croons with a smirk as he drags my stool closer.

“Oh? And how do you plan on doing that?” I ask with a small, bittersweet smile. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be with him one more time. To say goodbye to this part of my life that has definitely been the most important.

And I hate and curse him for having such an impact on me, even when I hadn’t known it myself.

He chuckles, and it vibrates straight through to my core. “Shall we bring ropes into playtime this evening?”

I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting myself get carried away by his antics. “Don’t you mean momentary truce?”

His fingers thread through my hair as he slides his other hand under my ass and lifts me to his hips so I can wrap my legs around his waist. Then he carries me to the bedroom.

“Call it whatever the fuck you want,” he says against my lips before he kisses me. And I fall into him once more. The only man I’m certain I will love and the one to whom I’ll most painfully say goodbye.