Want to Play A Game

It’s been hours since I have received a text from Matt. I am starting to wonder if he even really likes me. He invites me to spend the evening with him and then just takes off without a trace. What the hell? Why is he not wanting to answer me? Is there somebody in his life? Does he have secrets that I don’t know about? Of course he does I barely know him.

I feel like a teenage girl waiting to get a message from her crush becoming impatient. I mean really why should I care if he messages me back but I do so much. His words I don’t ever want them to end. I want all his attention every bit of it, I want on me. I want him thinking about me and what he wants to do to me over and over again.

I want him losing control and taking what he wants for his deepest darkest desires. He is becoming an obsession that I don’t know how to control. I never went through this before. I don’t want to but I think I need to take a step back and just let him be.

Maybe I should get back with Jake. This is a unhealthy obsession that needs to come to an end. Feeling this way will cause more harm than what it would cause any good.

How could I be faithful to Jake when I want Matt so badly. Craving his touch all over my body wanting him to pleasure me. Oh my god! What the fuck is wrong with me? My head is such a mess right now. I’m not even really sure why, I’m just taken over by the thought of him.

So I decide why not get a bubble bath try to just relax and clear my head. I light some candles and dim the bathroom lights. I test the water with my toes it feels amazing. My body feels so good as I emerge in the water. I try to relax as much as I can and erase all my thoughts. It seems impossible to get him out of my head.

As the bubbles start disappearing the water gets cold. I let the water out then decide I’ll stand up for a shower, so I can get cleaned up. When I am done I brush and blow dry my hair. I finish up my hair and I make my way to my closet. I have to figure out what I am going to wear for a night under the stars. I am getting excited, its coming closer to the time I get to spend with Matt finally alone with him.

I don’t want to over dress but don’t want to under dress either. I decide to wear leggings. He said how he likes to look at my ass, so why not let him stare all he wants. I find one of my sweaters to wear but wonder what if I don’t wear something warm? Will he wrap his arms around me to make me feel warm?

Then if he doesn’t keep me warm I will freeze. Well shit it would be worth it I guess. So I find one of my purple shirts that doesn’t show too much cleavage but enough to catch his attention.

My phone dings, I see it was Matt. He replies to my text from earlier today.

“I do not have a girlfriend, I’m not to much into relationships.”

I text back, “Good because I’m not looking for any kind of a relationship.”

I wonder why he is so against relationships. Is this going to be a one night stand kind of thing. In all honesty, I think I wouldn’t mind to have a one night stand with him. Oh my god satisfying all my cravings once and for all. I don’t think I would mind at all. Feeling his touch would be breath taking I can’t wait.

I have never been the one night stand type of girl but hey things could always change. I have a feeling once I get a piece of him, I’m going to want more. I don’t think that just one night will be enough. That definitely won’t be enough time to get everything that I want from him. Just his name coming up on my phone gives me shivers. I can’t even imagine what his touch is about to do to me.

I just hope I am going to be able to control myself being so close to him. I want to take it all or nothing. Then again I really don’t know if I’ll have the balls to really do what I want. Matter of fact even say what I really want to say to him face-to-face.

I hope that I can just let loose. For once actually not over think what I am going to do and just fucking do it. I just want to be myself for once not pretending to be anybody else. Fuck everyone and who they want me to be.

I get some lunch although it’s a late lunch. I still want to get something just incase he does not feed me. I make some pizza, as I am eating I see that my mother is calling me. I automatically think fuck! She is not going to ruin my mood for my prefect night. Now Jake is calling too eww, I don’t want to deal with either one of them.

So I just enjoy my pizza which is surprisingly actually really good. They always try to ruin everything that is about to happen for me in my life fuck. I hear a knock at the door so I go to answer it.

I look to see who it is.

I see Jake, fuck!Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

Why the fuck does he just enjoy showing up?

I answer it.