shuhaige
CHAPTER 45
Lucas’ POV
It felt like a weight was lifted off me when Giselle and I talked. She’ll stop pushing herself onto me. She’ll focus on finding her true self first. Because I believe that you can’t truly love deeply if you don’t love yourself.
She’s as empty as I am. We’re both just boxes without contents. We’re not meant for each other. And I’m glad she decided to end her madness. I know someone deserves her love more than I do.
I may not forgive her for her mistakes immediately, but I’m relieved that she’s repenting for them. I know it’s difficult for her too, but I hope she learns her lesson. Just like me, I’ve learned one of the happiest lessons in my life – accepting the situation, appreciating what I have before it’s taken away. Just like Zara, I wish I cherished her more so she wouldn’t leave me.
I still hope we’ll meet again. I don’t know, but I have a feeling and intuition that we’ll cross paths again. And if that day comes, even if she pushes me away, I’ll remind her how much I love her, make her feel the true significance she holds in my life.
God knows how I miss my wife. She’s the only one who can fill my emptiness. It’s lonely and tough for me. These years have been the darkest days of my life.
I’m leaving the coffee shop now. I know Giselle will be fine, she’s a strong and brave woman. She can stand on her own… I trust that she’ll be in good hands. I loved Giselle, but it’s Zara who holds my heart now, even after three years.
Zara still has a grip on my feelings. Every time she appears in my dreams, I pray that I don’t wake up anymore.
I’m tired of waking up in bed without her by my side, only the cold air hugging me at night… because I’m longing for her.
When she decided to leave me, I knew my life lost its color. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up again.
I don’t want to think that everything she did was just a facade and a means to seek revenge against me. I don’t want to think that everything she did for me was an illusion; our love was real, not shallow, but genuine.
As I sat in my car, I looked at a piece of paper with the address of a resort on an island. I don’t really know why she gave this to me. She just said that what I’ve been looking for could be found there.
Maybe she’s suggesting a vacation? But I really don’t have time to rest.
In reality, I don’t have time to rest or take a vacation. Ever since I immersed myself in work, the company’s growth in the industry doubled or tripled.
I still have pending meetings to attend. Since she left me for an unknown reason, my priorities have been my job and my son. I don’t have time for vacation or women. Whenever I think about giving my attention to another woman, my conscience devours me.
I’d rather grow old alone if it’s not going to be Zara. I’m dedicated to her.
There are a lot of girls trying to get my attention, trying to persuade me into a relationship or even into bed. But for some unknown reason, I lost interest.
Because I’m the kind of man who loves deeply and entirely. I’m not the type who easily moves on. I love Zara too much that until now, I’m not ready to give up on her.
I went home. My son is still busy with his video game. I know he’s become stubborn, and I can’t make up for all my shortcomings. I’m not a perfect father for my son.
I’m trying to be the best father he could have. I know it’s just me and my son. But he can’t see that because my past actions have left a mark.
I’m reaping the regret now for leaving them, for ignoring them for such a long time. If I could turn back the clock, maybe I could make it right.
I entered my office. On my desk is a complete picture of us – me, Zara, and our son, Enrique.
We only have a few pictures together. I just stare at the photo and reminisce about our memories.
I took the picture frame and kissed it.
“Zara, I miss you so much. Whatever I lacked, my love, I’m ready to fill it. If my sorry isn’t enough, just say it, and I’ll do everything. I just want to create more memories with you, I just need you to fill my emptiness with love. I’m ready to accept you again if you come back. I won’t give up. I’ll wait for you until you return. I love you so much,” I said with a smile, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I love this woman as if she’s my entire world. When she left me, the light of my life left with her, leaving me in darkness.
I lost so much when she left me. I just want a complete family with her. I just want to come home to a place where she’s there.
I can sacrifice everything just to have her back. If I need a miracle, I’ll ask God for it.
I’m ready to struggle to have her again. I won’t give up, someday we’ll meet again.
I shifted my gaze to my desk. The documents are piling up, needing my signature and review. I have numerous decisions to make.
My eyes are getting heavier, and I have a headache. I want to rest, but these papers need to be finished soon so that projects can move forward.
Someone knocked on my door. When I opened it, it was Mom. She’s still awake? It’s already late…Content provided by NôvelDrama.Org.
“Mom? What are you doing here? It’s late, and you’re still awake,” I asked her. She raised an eyebrow in a sarcastic manner.
“Son, I should be asking you that question. It’s late, yet you’re still awake. What’s going on?” she asked.
I rubbed my forehead. “I’m still working, Mom. I’ll sleep soon. And you should too,” I replied, not really wanting to argue at this moment since I’m tired and sleepy.
“No, Lucas Blackwood. You’re working until 4 a. m., and you’ll only get an hour of sleep. You’re killing yourself again! Let me remind you, young man, that you were recently hospitalized because of being a workaholic?”
I know. I’ve been too occupied with work.
“Mom, this is for our company!” I gave my reason, not wanting to argue much because I’m exhausted.
“No, son. You’re still doing this because you’re not over her yet! You’re sacrificing yourself! Take a break!” she scolded.
“Okay, fine, Mom. I’ll take a vacation. Just to calm you down. Alright? But just three days?” I offered.
She shook her head. “No, son, one week. That’s final! Bring Enrique with you so he won’t get bored.”